"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

Judging Mindsets?

Snapple

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 26, 2003
Messages
24
Reaction score
1
If you walk into a room and instantly think to yourself "everyone is judging me, looking at my faults", would the correct thing to say to yourself be"

"no everyone is not judging you, don't be paranoid"
or
"who cares if they are?"
or
something else...?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Phyzzle

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 19, 2006
Messages
1,963
Reaction score
35
I was once as big of a chump as you are.

This is my philosophy:
"who cares if they are?"
Even if they judge you, so what?

They never seen some guy walk into a room before?

They never seen someone trying to start a conversation before?

They never seen some guy hitting on a chick before?

They never seen a guy with faults before?

If not, you gotta ask: WHERE THE FCK HAVE THESE PEOPLE BEEN FOR THE PAST 2 DECADES? IN A SIBERIAN GULAG?

There is NOTHING wierd about walking into a room full of strangers & trying to make friends. Anyone in that room who says your "wierd" for doing it is some freakish virgin who obviously hasn't met any new person since preschool. Feel free to point it out!
 

Phyzzle

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 19, 2006
Messages
1,963
Reaction score
35
Phyzzle you picked the wrong answer
I dunno, I think we agree. Meeting a stranger is not an audition. I was saying that no one IN THEIR RIGHT MIND will be sitting around judging his flaws when he walks in and introduces himself. Anyone who does is totally abnormal.
 

Phyzzle

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 19, 2006
Messages
1,963
Reaction score
35
Then perhaps you are luckier than I.

When I was younger, my overactive brain was constantly telling me that deveryone else was staring at me and finding fault. I had to remind myself that this is not at all the case with real, normal people.

Snapple seems to be in the same boat. He needs to know that other people are more concerned about their OWN image than his. After some training, he can "stop caring" as you do.
 

Phyzzle

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 19, 2006
Messages
1,963
Reaction score
35
"AHH, who cares I'll never see these people again"
I grew up in a small town, then went to a small college. So I was DEFINITELY gonna see all of these people again, no matter whom I met. That was the nagging fear.

But oh well, you've got the Right Attitude now! Who cares how you got there. I just hope Snapple finds a way to accustom himself to this way of thinkning. . . .
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

Read more...

cant think of a user name

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 20, 2002
Messages
669
Reaction score
2
Location
Australia
Snapple said:
If you walk into a room and instantly think to yourself "everyone is judging me, looking at my faults"...
What fascinates me is how these thoughts are created.

I mean, people weren't BORN insecure... these thoughts have to be manufactured someway somehow.

As a little toddler.. even a little kid... I doubt that anyone gave a f*ck what people thought when they walked into a room.

How does that change? How do those plaguing thoughts invade an individual's once peaceful mind?

I used to be insecure sort of like that, but then I realised that:
1. I don't give a f*ck if some guy walks into a room, so what, no judgment there
2. Why should other people give a f*ck or judge you in any way?
 

Snapple

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 26, 2003
Messages
24
Reaction score
1
thanks for the replies...

no thinking this is not a natural thing...i have something called vitiligo, its a skin condition in which you lose the pigment (natural color) in your skin and basically end up with white (as in bleached white) patches on your skin. It can spread throughout your body, changing in shape and size. It's trigger to grow is said to be stress of which it usually causes more. It has no definite cure and greatly increases one's risk of skin cancer.

Many people are so painfully affected by this that they decide to undergo treatments to completely bleach their skin so the color discrepancy doesn't show. One example of this was Michael Jackson. He has vitiligo, which started on his hand (hence him always wearing a glove).

Unfortunately, I have one of the worst cases of this and have white patches all over my skin except for most of my face. This skin condition, which i've had for all 18 years of my life, is the real cause for my insecurities.


Google Vitiligo if your interested, tho there is not much more out there too learn except sob stories.
 
Last edited:
Top