Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Judging Mindsets?

Snapple

Don Juan
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If you walk into a room and instantly think to yourself "everyone is judging me, looking at my faults", would the correct thing to say to yourself be"

"no everyone is not judging you, don't be paranoid"
or
"who cares if they are?"
or
something else...?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Phyzzle

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I was once as big of a chump as you are.

This is my philosophy:
"who cares if they are?"
Even if they judge you, so what?

They never seen some guy walk into a room before?

They never seen someone trying to start a conversation before?

They never seen some guy hitting on a chick before?

They never seen a guy with faults before?

If not, you gotta ask: WHERE THE FCK HAVE THESE PEOPLE BEEN FOR THE PAST 2 DECADES? IN A SIBERIAN GULAG?

There is NOTHING wierd about walking into a room full of strangers & trying to make friends. Anyone in that room who says your "wierd" for doing it is some freakish virgin who obviously hasn't met any new person since preschool. Feel free to point it out!
 

Phyzzle

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Phyzzle you picked the wrong answer
I dunno, I think we agree. Meeting a stranger is not an audition. I was saying that no one IN THEIR RIGHT MIND will be sitting around judging his flaws when he walks in and introduces himself. Anyone who does is totally abnormal.
 

Phyzzle

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Then perhaps you are luckier than I.

When I was younger, my overactive brain was constantly telling me that deveryone else was staring at me and finding fault. I had to remind myself that this is not at all the case with real, normal people.

Snapple seems to be in the same boat. He needs to know that other people are more concerned about their OWN image than his. After some training, he can "stop caring" as you do.
 

Phyzzle

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"AHH, who cares I'll never see these people again"
I grew up in a small town, then went to a small college. So I was DEFINITELY gonna see all of these people again, no matter whom I met. That was the nagging fear.

But oh well, you've got the Right Attitude now! Who cares how you got there. I just hope Snapple finds a way to accustom himself to this way of thinkning. . . .
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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cant think of a user name

Master Don Juan
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Snapple said:
If you walk into a room and instantly think to yourself "everyone is judging me, looking at my faults"...
What fascinates me is how these thoughts are created.

I mean, people weren't BORN insecure... these thoughts have to be manufactured someway somehow.

As a little toddler.. even a little kid... I doubt that anyone gave a f*ck what people thought when they walked into a room.

How does that change? How do those plaguing thoughts invade an individual's once peaceful mind?

I used to be insecure sort of like that, but then I realised that:
1. I don't give a f*ck if some guy walks into a room, so what, no judgment there
2. Why should other people give a f*ck or judge you in any way?
 

Snapple

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thanks for the replies...

no thinking this is not a natural thing...i have something called vitiligo, its a skin condition in which you lose the pigment (natural color) in your skin and basically end up with white (as in bleached white) patches on your skin. It can spread throughout your body, changing in shape and size. It's trigger to grow is said to be stress of which it usually causes more. It has no definite cure and greatly increases one's risk of skin cancer.

Many people are so painfully affected by this that they decide to undergo treatments to completely bleach their skin so the color discrepancy doesn't show. One example of this was Michael Jackson. He has vitiligo, which started on his hand (hence him always wearing a glove).

Unfortunately, I have one of the worst cases of this and have white patches all over my skin except for most of my face. This skin condition, which i've had for all 18 years of my life, is the real cause for my insecurities.


Google Vitiligo if your interested, tho there is not much more out there too learn except sob stories.
 
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