"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Judging Mindsets?

Snapple

Don Juan
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If you walk into a room and instantly think to yourself "everyone is judging me, looking at my faults", would the correct thing to say to yourself be"

"no everyone is not judging you, don't be paranoid"
or
"who cares if they are?"
or
something else...?
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Phyzzle

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I was once as big of a chump as you are.

This is my philosophy:
"who cares if they are?"
Even if they judge you, so what?

They never seen some guy walk into a room before?

They never seen someone trying to start a conversation before?

They never seen some guy hitting on a chick before?

They never seen a guy with faults before?

If not, you gotta ask: WHERE THE FCK HAVE THESE PEOPLE BEEN FOR THE PAST 2 DECADES? IN A SIBERIAN GULAG?

There is NOTHING wierd about walking into a room full of strangers & trying to make friends. Anyone in that room who says your "wierd" for doing it is some freakish virgin who obviously hasn't met any new person since preschool. Feel free to point it out!
 

Phyzzle

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Phyzzle you picked the wrong answer
I dunno, I think we agree. Meeting a stranger is not an audition. I was saying that no one IN THEIR RIGHT MIND will be sitting around judging his flaws when he walks in and introduces himself. Anyone who does is totally abnormal.
 

Phyzzle

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Then perhaps you are luckier than I.

When I was younger, my overactive brain was constantly telling me that deveryone else was staring at me and finding fault. I had to remind myself that this is not at all the case with real, normal people.

Snapple seems to be in the same boat. He needs to know that other people are more concerned about their OWN image than his. After some training, he can "stop caring" as you do.
 

Phyzzle

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"AHH, who cares I'll never see these people again"
I grew up in a small town, then went to a small college. So I was DEFINITELY gonna see all of these people again, no matter whom I met. That was the nagging fear.

But oh well, you've got the Right Attitude now! Who cares how you got there. I just hope Snapple finds a way to accustom himself to this way of thinkning. . . .
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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cant think of a user name

Master Don Juan
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Snapple said:
If you walk into a room and instantly think to yourself "everyone is judging me, looking at my faults"...
What fascinates me is how these thoughts are created.

I mean, people weren't BORN insecure... these thoughts have to be manufactured someway somehow.

As a little toddler.. even a little kid... I doubt that anyone gave a f*ck what people thought when they walked into a room.

How does that change? How do those plaguing thoughts invade an individual's once peaceful mind?

I used to be insecure sort of like that, but then I realised that:
1. I don't give a f*ck if some guy walks into a room, so what, no judgment there
2. Why should other people give a f*ck or judge you in any way?
 

Snapple

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thanks for the replies...

no thinking this is not a natural thing...i have something called vitiligo, its a skin condition in which you lose the pigment (natural color) in your skin and basically end up with white (as in bleached white) patches on your skin. It can spread throughout your body, changing in shape and size. It's trigger to grow is said to be stress of which it usually causes more. It has no definite cure and greatly increases one's risk of skin cancer.

Many people are so painfully affected by this that they decide to undergo treatments to completely bleach their skin so the color discrepancy doesn't show. One example of this was Michael Jackson. He has vitiligo, which started on his hand (hence him always wearing a glove).

Unfortunately, I have one of the worst cases of this and have white patches all over my skin except for most of my face. This skin condition, which i've had for all 18 years of my life, is the real cause for my insecurities.


Google Vitiligo if your interested, tho there is not much more out there too learn except sob stories.
 
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