Journal: Seeking strong inner game

[GrowingPains]

This topic has come and go in my mind a lot recently: how do I achieve strong inner game?

Is it by getting options and knowing that I'm desires? No, this has to be false inner game. Which means my inner game is not strong yet.

I know this because I am still worried about whether my current plates are interested or not. I await their texts as if to get validation that they are still interested. That I didn't do something wrong. Or I resist checking my phone because I know that that's why I'm checking it.

It's often mentioned that indifference is the ultimate goal. That it serves you personally and secondarily with dealing with women. I think I have achieved false indifference. A facet of weak inner game. Where, since I know I have options, I can be indifferent and even a little more confident. But this has nothing to do with how I view myself... How I control my emotions... If a hot enough girl comes around it will all crumble. I like to think that I wouldn't care if one of my plates decided she didn't want to see me anymore. But this simply isn't true. I decided to tell one of them yesterday that I wasn't looking for a relationship, just interested in dating so that I can avoid feeling ultra-conscious about seeing other girls since I'm in a university setting. Plus, honesty is the best policy. She felt the same way. But the nerves I had about even bringing the topic up tell me that I was not indifferent. I was fearful of the possibility of losing her.

So anyways, I googled 'indifference sosuave' and found this

Your Greatest Weapon - Indifference

Ever had a girl go silent? Ever sat by your phone and wait for her call/text? Ever wondered why she flaked on you? Why is there that uneasy feeling in your stomach? Because you cared too much. The thought of losing her scares you! And that is why you will lose the girl. No, I'm not going to...

www.sosuave.net

Great. I need to be indifferent. But it doesn't explain how.

How do I become comfortable with myself and being alone?

How do I actually put mind over matter?

I hope to explore those things here.

One poster in that thread mentioned that they practice Zen. I find this interesting. But it seems very similar to just being mindful. Perhaps mindfulness is the route to strong inner game.

 

[candyman105]

I just skimmed through this and it's all mental masturbation. Women are all about superficiality: the better you look, the more women you attract. Anything else is just a waste of time (for attracting women).

 

[GrowingPains]

I just skimmed through this and it's all mental masturbation. Women are all about superficiality: the better you look, the more women you attract. Anything else is just a waste of time (for attracting women).

I'm not worried about attracting women in this case. I'm concerned with maintaining a healthy state of mind. This journal is about self and not letting external things bother me.

A thought: This morning I crushed it in the gym. It has been a while since I've touched over 4 plates on squats due to injury and inconsistency. But today I smashed it and the rest of the workout. It felt electric.

And my mood for the rest of the day has been set. In such a positive mood, I don't think anything could really bother me.

So maybe there's something to be said about getting after it and crushing what you know you should be doing. I notice that when I don't do the things I know I should, I don't feel good about myself. And it affects other aspects of life like interacting with women. But right now, I feel like the man because of something I achieved. Not because of something external.

 

[candyman105]

Your life is not "inner game." That has to be one of the dumbest phrases any PUA ever pulled out of their ass.

In life you don't just hit "reset" and start all over again as if nothing happened in a video game. There are actual consequences for your actions.

You are lost because you are relying on your "feelings" to make decisions. Only a woman does that.

"Oooh, I lifted some weights I feel good," Or "oooooh, I told a girl I didn't want to commit, that didn't feel so good." You are completely directionless and adrift. Don't be a woman. Be a man.

 

[GrowingPains]

You are lost because you are relying on your "feelings" to make decisions. Only a woman does that.

"Oooh, I lifted some weights I feel good," Or "oooooh, I told a girl I didn't want to commit, that didn't feel so good." You are completely directionless and adrift. Don't be a woman. Be a man.

So you say 'be a man' but what does this mean concretely?

You suggest I'm relying on feeling. Sure, a good lifting session gave me a good feeling. But what I said is that perhaps inner strength and contempt relies on doing what you're supposed to do. Regardless of how you feel, I might add. Which is stoic. Not relying on the feeling it gives you but because you do those things, you will be at peace with yourself. Does that make sense?

 

[Spaz]

It's okay to hv feelings.

That's normal.

But a man MUST be able to control or subdue it when in time of crisis or in a tense atmosphere.

That's what differentiates a real man and that of a boy in a grown man's body.

Masculinity is just a code of conduct.

 

[GrowingPains]

Masculinity is just a code of conduct.

Got damn, Spaz. I love how you put that.

 

[17 shots]

Consistent excersise always flips my mindset and makes me feel really good. Like 45 mins to an hour of cardio daily. It makes me impervious to anyone else's perception of me

Also, everything you're speaking on is self discipline. Self discipline is empowering, once your able to accomplish it in one aspect of your life(women, diet, exercise, learning, scheduling ect) it becomes easier to apply to another. Start with ONE thing you've always wanted to improve on or be better at, not only will this keep you preoccupied and less mindful of women, but your success will motivate you to apply that discipline to women

 

[candyman105]

So you say 'be a man' but what does this mean concretely?

A devil does what he wants. A man performs his duty.

 

[GrowingPains]

Inner game is discipline.

In the moments where the self is weak, you must be able to overcome self. Discipline is the vehicle which enables you to do so.

You will want to double text. You will want to get mad at her when she is yelling at you and wrongly accusing you. You will want to chase a girl with zero to no interest.

But you know these things are bad for you. You know this is weakness.

However, you still feel a strong urge to do them anyways. It is in moments like these that you must put mind over matter. Being able to overcome the self and stay the course is strong inner game.

"Discipline equals freedom." - Jocko Willink

 

[BadBoy89]

A man shouldn’t have the mindset of “indifference”. A man should have the mindset of “abundance”, and BE abundant.

Any woman can tell if the man is new to the game or has experience. How? Through his actions, words, behaviour, look, mannerisms.

Unless he is genetically gifted, there are no magic formulas for a man to get hot woman. Everything goes back to the basics. Education, experience, money, looks, dress, body.

NO shortcuts gentlemen, you have to put in the WORK.

Come on men.

 

[nicksaiz65]

A man shouldn’t have the mindset of “indifference”. A man should have the mindset of “abundance”, and BE abundant.

Any woman can tell if the man is new to the game or has experience. How? Through his actions, words, behaviour, look, mannerisms.

Unless he is genetically gifted, there are no magic formulas for a man to get hot woman. Everything goes back to the basics. Education, experience, money, looks, dress, body.

NO shortcuts gentlemen, you have to put in the WORK.

Come on men.

Disagree. Yes, it does always come back to the fundamentals. But without indifference women will jerk you around with no end

 

[GrowingPains]

@stringpuller whats hilarious about it?

@BadBoy89 what does this have to do with how to achieve inner game/discipline/whatever you’d like to call it?