Journal - Approaches on street, at mall, etc.

[Watawata]

Boss Night

 

[Mindgamez]

Thanks a lot for support guys

So yeah,
Went out the other night with Jad. It was an average night, nothing special. Did a bunch of approaches but it didn't go anywhere. Doesn't matter.

Just some thoughts.
I don't know why I'm writing about this, but I feel like it.

I've never been in love once in my life.
Then I realized I wasn't afraid of rejection. I was afraid of opening up my heart, to love, to share my deepest feelings. Not only with girls, but with people in general. I just open up to my closest friends, or on this journal right here. At the end of the day, I feel disconnected from the world.

You approach a girl. She seems all into you, you exchange numbers. And she never responds. It comes and it goes. It is always temporary. Every approach just feels like that, everyone I meet, it seems so short-lived.

I don't know why... I feel kind of lonely. Sex doesn't remedy this. People ask me how I know so many people, but I don't feel like I do. Doing *pick up* or flirting with girls doesn't necessarily make me feel better either. At the end, it almost feels artificial.

Why am I doing this? To develop myself? To prove myself I can do it?

Why am I so fckn afraid of people? Yes, I can do very obnoxious sh1t and scream at the top of my lungs on the streets of downtown, but it won't help me develop social intelligence or anything.

I don't know why, but I feel lonely. And pickup won't remedy this.

I feel like I have to come back to the normal life. Yes, I'll keep approaching and all, but I feel like it has become way too important to me.
I have to come back to filmmaking. I have to come back to chilling with my old friends. I have to come back to composing on the piano. I have to come back to my days of fantasizing about the day I'll meet the one. I have to come back to my old days of sharing my deepest secrets with my best friends.

I miss my childhood...
I miss my old days of being really shy, and finally mustering up the courage to ask the girl to play board games with me during recess at elementary school.
I miss those days of not caring about whether I was popular or not.
I miss those days of crying because I couldn't learn that song on the piano.
I miss those days of doing small talk with that girl in grade 7, believing that perhaps she could be the girl I will love forever.
I miss my old self. My old shy self that would fool around with his buddies playing video games all day, all night.

But at the same time, I'm afraid that going back will make my game suffer. That my skills with meeting girls will go down. It's like it's either I'm that old self, or that new upgraded self. Constantly moving, constantly changing, constantly evolving.

But I guess I've made my choice.
And I will keep on going, never forgetting who I was.

I hope you guys never get lost in that journey, be so immersed that you forget about living.

 

[BPH]

BPH, yes I did!

What's your count?

 

[Mindgamez]

Lay count is at 2. 2 girls. 7s, but still.

The night before,
It's funny because I had an epiphany.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUuXiAsV7BQ

I realized that I was doing it for feeling free, achieving complete freedom of expression. Not only this, but I do it for the love.

But I wasn't doing it for the love for so long... all it was was horniness to me, or simply the superficial things I've learned through material. I'm tired of using pick up terms.

I was laying in my bed, with that ridiculously big smile on my face.
I was thinking of how I was dreaming of meeting that special girl. Share love with them, care for them, make them feel safe and secure around me, give them the time of their lives. I don't need to stick to one lover. I can be polyamorous. I can have multiple lovers and love them just as much. It's very different from being a player, which I what I first envisioned when I started.

Being a player might be cool for some people, but different things and goals work for different people.
I want to love, fall in love multiple times.

Not only that, but I want to follow my passions in life.

Tuesday, August 10th
When I woke up the morning, I had that same grin on my face. For no particular reason.

Everything happens for a reason. Lying in bed feeling meaningless changed to feeling good the moment I realized the truth.

Arrived at school. First class, sit next to the girl I met last time in English class.
I had a smile full of love when I sat next to her. She gave me the ordinary polite smile, but it didn't matter.
Later, she was talking to me during the exam. The teacher had to tell us to stop talking twice I think, haha.

She's okay, a 7 or so. Her face too much make-up, but nice butt.

Photography class.
I was worried about whether it'll work out with Addis or not. I sat next to her in class, gave her a smile, almost forced, she just said hello like, very flat. No expression.

Funnily enough, I wasn't affected by it.
Yes! I sat next to her and said hello. Success
Then I was looking at myself on the reflection of the computer screen, ridiculous smile on my face again. I was thinking about how awesome I was.

During break, we had to go out and go take some pictures around campus. I told her, a little nervous, that she should come with me take pics outside, but then she went : Ohh I just want to take pictures inside.
So yeah whatever, I didn't push it further but whatever I thought.

Walked off class, texted my friend for company.
Then, I see Ashton (friend of girl Porno fcked) with another girl, and some other really hot girl, HB8.5. By the way, Addis is not an HB9. She changed to a b1tchy face, it changes literally everything.
Waved to Ashton, let them pass. They stopped midway in the hallway to chat.
Oh man, I'll just wait for Richard to come. Actually what? Fck it, let's ditch him for them!

So I walk towards them with a ridiculous smile on my face again, thinking it's gunna be funny.
Me : So you guys a photography team!
Hottie : Yeaah, hahaha!
She had the brightest smile on her face, the type of smile a girl would have with a nice compliment.

I looked at her camera, we compared, made fun of hers. As I did so, I went physical immediately. My hand rested on her shoulder for a second or two, it was very natural.
We laughed and smiled at each other like we were good friends already. I just felt... love.
The two other girls were walking in front of us.
Me : Heey, I know some good place to go, over there!
I point to some other direction.
Her : Ohhh, okay!
So we separate from them. Isolation, DONE.

So we walk around taking funny pictures. She walks very close to me, I let my left arm linger on my side and it touches her butt *accidently from time to time. When I look at her pictures, I make sure i'm close to her face. When we look up, she gives me that beautiful smile again. Lovely.

I get to know her a bit. Small talk and everything, quite a lot of teasing. She tells me I'm mean with the cute smile, it's very playful and fun.
At one time, I bent down to take a picture of her shoes. As I looked up, she had a wonderful cameltoe. Oh my god I love these. It's like I could imagine her tight vagina through her leggings. Her ass was great too.

When I opened the door for her, she just held it behind me.
Me : Oh what? The guy was supposed to hold the door, but I guess not...
Her : Hahah!
Me : You're the gentleman! Thanks!

So later on she waits for me to open the door with that funny smile. I bump into her, it's fun.

The look in her eyes. She was giving me the anime eyes. I didn't number close her. My excuse? Class right after, had to eat some sh1t before. I could have waited for her to transfer her pictures to PC, but I was afraid of appearing needy. Wronnngg.

Next class : I GET HER NUMBER.

And she's an international student from Germany. Hot accent, I like it. And she has a residence at school, meaning PERFECT LOGISTICS FOR SEX. Let's make sh1t happen.

So yeaah,
Go in sex class. I don't make a move on anyone. I could've!
It's funny, because I always feel uncomfortable in this class. The teacher asks about orgasms and everything. There's only a few people that are open enough to raise their hand.

That chubby girl seems into me. She waits for me after class for me to catch her up. Then, we talk for a while. Or is she just being friendly? Anyway, she ain't hot. Maybe fckable.

CONCLUSION
- A 9 can turn into a 0 in an instant. It's all about the VIBE between the two. The relationship you have with her. That's what I call love. And you want love when you talk to people. Call it pick up if you want, but I'll just stick to love. It sounds sweeter. Don't tell me it sounds gay, I don't give a sh1t haha.
- Allow yourself to BE. Don't even think of the rules of the game. There are no fckn rules. At some point, after you've read enough material, it's time to FULLY LET GO of everything and just live in the moment.
- Pick up is 5% of your life. If it feels like 90%, you have to lower it down. A lot.

 

[Watawata]

the second coclusion is awesome and just what i needed. Hey and good luck with girl man, altrought you probably dont need it

 

[Mindgamez]

Thanks for support Watawata You're right, I don't need luck. I have all the skills at my disposal!

I've been trying to manage other areas of my life lately. Not much in terms of girls.

Summary
Remaining of last week of school was nothing much.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4luh8j8AQbU

Saturday, went paintballing with my friend neighbour and some of his girl friends. They weren't that hot, but still I don't know why I wasn't really being social with them. Though, met some other cool dude. I will get into paintball most probably, buy my own gun and everything. It's an amazing sport. I just love the rush it gives me. It's so intense.

Sunday, Alexxx came to my place
She was on her period, but was still okay with sucking my ****, twice! Came in her mouth both times, she's such a horny girl. She loves the taste of my ***... She tells me that next time we should try at her place.
I don't know why, but this time, the ******* didn't feel as majestic. It was just... ordinary. Not like I have achieved something grandiose. Everything felt very, natural, normal, comfortable.

And suddenly, sex felt no big deal for me anymore. It was part of my life.

Monday, today, sat next to Sydney in art history class. HB Blondasian's friend. She's kind of hot, but I'd just go for friendship with her. I have to get to know her a bit more, get closer and eventually get to know her friends. I'm teaming up with her for a school project.

I was talking to my metalhead friend in French class later about how I wanted to talk to this girl who sits by herself every time. She's pretty hot. Too bad she left class early, couldn't approach her.

Going back home, I was thinking of approaching at the local mall. But every time I stop by, I never muster up the courage to approach. I feel so... rusty. I almost feel my game regressing since I've met Alexxx. It's like I don't need to progress as much, because I've met this girl who's DTF everytime we meet. But no...

Then, realized something.
My lack of sleep has been killing me lately. It's been putting extra stress hormones in my body, giving me headaches regularly, making me sick.
Then I was thinking of the concept of time. I was trying to find time to do my schoolwork and everything, squeezing it in my schedule, while CREATING time to waste on facebook, unconscious useless short-term pleasure activities. If I don't logically have time for it, I will create time for it and cut on sleep just to do the unnecessary.

While I should be doing the opposite. I will be willing to CREATING time to do the stuff I need to do, then squeezing in some time for those relaxing activities SECOND.

And by doing that, I'll be able to sleep much better, be much less worried, be more productive.
More time? More sleep, more energy, less stress, better mood. Better game.

CONCLUSION
- Sex, oral sex, becomes natural. At this point, you don't play the game for sex anymore. You play it because of its endless possibilities, its adventures. It feels almost artistic. I realized it was all the escalation, the process I enjoyed, the getting to sex. Once you do get there, it makes it just much more exciting. Experiencing it with a new girl just feels so nice.
- My school game seems to suck. Quite massively, LOL. But that's fine, I'll remedy this. Starting tomorrow.
- I HAVE TO GO BACK TO APPROACHING SOLO. AT THE MALL!
- Find time for the right things, then squeeze in the unnecessary after. If you can't, CREATE time for it. Be willing to cut on other things to do it. Don't procrastinate, priorities first.

 

[TeonoreFossow]

Dude, THIS IS AMAZING! Great props to you for actually doing this. Remember that the goal is to approach, that's what matters.

When a girl is older, I might alter my own age, as I can go for being older than I am. I rarely do street approaches, I just do social circle game and approaches at parties. At parties you can easily weed out the girls that are up for action and those that are not. It can be fcking terrifying, but that's whats amazing; you evolve so much. Just keep trying new things, and start simple. Be consistent.

Still feel annoying when being disturbed cell phone calls? Don’t want this bad thing to happen again and again in your life and work? Ok, do not be anxious, the cell phone jammer can be your first and best selection. And if you want to know more about this kind of device, you can gain the useful information you want.

 

[Mindgamez]

Tuesday, September 17th
I was nervous about going into photography class, talking to the hotass HB8.5 from last time.

After my first class, I just walk around for an hour or so, trying to find people to hang out with. I walk to every corner at school, don't find anyone.

People see me as outgoing, but I kind of feel lonely inside. I don't hang out with people really.

Met with Brandon, Darnell's friend. He's a cool guy, but plays computer too much lol. I played with him for a while.

When I arrived in photography class, I saw the HB8.5 by herself. I approach her, I'm feeling nervous again. She gives me a smile, but then goes back to her phone as I try initiating a conversation with her. Nothing seems to click, she wasn't responding like last time. It's like I was a completely different guy to her, like we never met. What the fvck?!

I didn't talk to her then. It was exactly like with Addis. First time we talked, she seemed all over me. The next time, she gives me that b1tchy look and doesn't bother talking. It's... very weird.

Anyway. I catch her smiling at me again during class. But I don't bother going up to her during break to talk again. I didn't know what to do.

Anyway, wtf. I go to humanities sex class. I was thinking of approaching the cute girl I always wanted to talk to, but pussied out. I always do.
And that 6.5 smiled at me when I looked at her. Mhm.

And yeah, I just noticed that when I randomly walk in the hallways, random girls just smile at me more these days.

So yeah,
Walked around local mall trying to find a girl to approach lol. Saw girl from high school, randomly, decided to talk for 10 minutes or so, go get her coffee. Then took the bus back home. I never told her that we should hangout sometimes, with her cute girl firends... Which I know too.

Then, find some interesting article. I can relate to this. Though I'm far from being THAT extreme, I still feel bad for this guy.
http://manicdepressiveblog.wordpres...rous-to-force-ourselves-to-become-extroverts/

CONCLUSION
- You can be as extroverted as you want, but never really open up fully to them. Let yourself go... Open up.
- Don't worry. And get other areas of your life handled. Stop thinking about pick up so much.

 

[Watawata]

I relate to that post to, alot. While some people are always in a sociable mood, to me its necessary that Im in state, which I get when I step out of my comfort zone.
But I think that it is possible to change. The extroverts are probably guys who started going out and socializing at a very young age. If you keep on trying to aproach, party, talk,etc.. we may become an extrovert.

Anyway, thoughts on this?

 

[Mindgamez]

I think everyone's both introvert and extrovert. But we have it in different degrees. I personally need a good balance of the two or I become crazy. Talking gives me a headache in the long run, and being isolated makes me talk to myself in the mirror lol.

It's not about forcing yourself to become extrovert. I'd say it's about getting in touch with your inner self, whether it's introvert or extrovert. Some introverts are real good at 1 on 1 conversations, very chill and low key, but still very confident.

Wednesday, September 18th
At first, tired as fck. I wanted to get into the habit of waking up early, so yeah.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xRN8A2UBZ8

Read book, do homework.

Art history class, ***** out from talking to blonde chick 2 seats away from me. I should've.

During break, I go edit my video in videoproduction lab. I see a group of people next to me, that girl looks at me with a funny look.
Her : Heey
Me : Suuup!
I don't know why I didn't get to know them more or anything. She seemed really open. Pretty cute too.

So I walk outside to go eat my banana. I see Chris, some acquaintance, with some cute girl and other teammates filming something.
Chris : Hahah man get away you're in the shot!
Me : Ohhh lol! Sorry!
I lock eye contact with the cute girl for long. I see her smile rising up to her lips slowly, so I smile back.
Me : Heey wuddup.
Her : Hey
Blablabla, I tell them I should play in the film.
Teammate : No we can't do that!
Me : Heey heey! Don't be racist yo! That's bad!
I was just self-amusing myself. And as soon as I said ridiculous sh1t, I felt myself coming back to my old good playful self. My real me

So I got the girl's name. She gave me warm smiles all the time, and it felt quite flirtatious. She was attracted for sure.
Her : Haha, you're so creepy with your banana...
Me : Haha blablalbala. Anyway, gotta go back to work. See you around guys!

And I left.

After that, I felt very good. I was back to feeling self-love and love for people.

TOMORROW, GOING TO JULIEN RSD FREE TOUR. FCK YEAH.

CONCLUSION
- When you see the opportunity, just say hello. Anything simple. And then you'll start feeling better, getting in touch with your talkative social playful self. Once you tap into that powar, you feel real again.

 

[Mindgamez]

Because of extreme tiredness and allergies (I think, or eye infection?) I have bloodshot red eyes. It looks zombie-like... But I really wanted to go to the rave. Anyway.

Thursday, September 19th
Free tour with Julien from RSD. It was amazing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4zxWGUXi9M

During his speech, I raised my hand and asked him about how to game girls in your social circle, at college.
His answer was that we have to stop looking for specifically every aspect of where the game is played. Whatever if it's during the day, at night, at work, at school, at starbucks, etc, it is ALL the fcking same. And I have to stop looking for every specific thing so much. As he was saying so, he was directly looking at me with so much conviction and seriousness.

Also, there was this part about seeing the whole night as ONE big set, treating everyone equal and simply being talkative with everyone. Just being social and having fun.

Also, he was talking about how, at this point in hiss game, he doesn't even care whether he ****s the girl or not. He does it for his own self amusement.

At the end, met some new guys to game with.

And I asked Julien in person, how could I game 25 year olds and even milfs at 18 year old. He simply told me I had to assume it, going like : Ohhh yeaah, how does it feel to like fcking 18 year olds mhm?
I even gave Julien a hug, he was so nice with his warm smile.


Friday, September 20th
RAVE! With HeadHunterz, DJ Isaac and Brennan Heart.

Though, ratio was of LITERALLY 8 guys for 1 girl, or something like that. Too bad not many girls like hardstyle techno...

I'm super tired so I'm gonna summarize.

Beginning of the night, girl approaches me. She's getting real close while she whispers in my ears. I felt our lips brushing past *by accident*. We grinded a bit, danced a bit together. But I lost it near the end of the night... She was talking to many more guys, almost everyone. It was hard to tell whether she was into me or not, so yeah.

Saw some chick, she seemed hot in the dark.
So she's the one smiling at me, I scream YEAAHH back, telling her music is my life.
Then she shows me her shirt and what's written on it. I pull her shirt a bit to see the writing better, then I go : FCK YEAAA!
And then she pulls down her shirt to let me see her bra. I bring my face closer to go for a motorboat, but stop midway through to see how she'd react.
Then, she GRABS my face and brings it to her tits. I motorboat her boobs. Hahaha! Epic stuff...

Only to realize later when I walk out of the place, in the light, that she was actually ugly LOL. Damn.

Saturday, September 21st
Had sex with Alexxx again. Twice.

Did the 69, it was so damn hot as fck...

It was at her place this time. I met her brother, he's a funny guy. Hopefully her parents are just as nice...

And as I was driving back home, I realized that sex wasn't such a big deal anymore. It wasn't even as enjoyable as it used to be. It was just, ordinary... repetitive, just stimulation.

I want to flirt with other girls and grow as person. That's what I want to do. I like the seduction process.

CONCLUSION
- Take every opportunity available to meet people that know about self-development/pick up.
- Get some good sleep... don't become sick. My eyes are scary to look at, I look high. I've literally slept till 5 PM today, because I couldn't catch up on my sleep. I'm still extremely tired right now, headache, and I've been awake for only 7-8 hours today. Health comes first...

 

[Mindgamez]

Some thoughts.
I was feeling a bit down lately, because I always put too much pressure on myself to perform. I've felt like I wasn't doing enough, that my game at school was sucking, that I couldn't make the cool friends I wanted.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lgs9QUtWc3M

But fck it. I have to stop comparing myself to others and be grateful I arrived to this point in my life. I have to be grateful that I haven't given up on myself, that I'm still bettering myself every day of my life, looking for every opportunity to become better and better.

And one thing : Kissing girls, motorboating them and even sex won't give you happiness. It will give you a little short-term fun, but that's how far as it goes. What will give you true happiness is self-development itself, and realizing that there's no reason why you shouldn't be happy. That's what life is about.

And even if I do become popular at school or get approval from so many girls, it won't change who I am in the end. I am to disappear forever once I die, so there's no point in becoming overly attached for anything. Everything is temporary. School is temporary. And most of people I know now, I won't see them again and our paths will go different ways. Why bother worrying so much about it?
10 years from now, I wished I would have done crazier sh1t. So why not go all out right now? I have nothing to lose.

I have to let life be... Stop needing so much, and just letting the beauty of life manifests itself in the present moment.
Enjoy every smile I give,
Enjoy every hug I share,
Enjoy every kiss I give,
Enjoy every compliment I say,
Enjoy everytime I see a spark in her eye,
Enjoy everytime I fail and learn,
Enjoy every little victory,
Enjoy every challenge,
Enjoy every moment I'm alone,
Enjoy every moment I share with humanity,
Enjoy every moment of feeling pushed to my limits,
Enjoy every moment of peace,

And being so grateful for everything I have.
I can still look at the stars at night when I come back home, knowing that this day was totally worth it in every aspect. Because I know everything happens for a reason. And I'm inspired everyday to learn more.

When I'll realize I have everything I need to be happy in my life right now, I will be the happiest, most peaceful man on earth.

 

[Mindgamez]

This video is quite amazing. I feel like giving love to girls. Girls have their fantasies of kissing under the rain, or even meeting that guy randomly on the street.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrGSRr5dO6M

So yeah,
The week was good actually.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZdnNLBH1cg

There was a new page for my college, anonymously posting secrets from people to the public.
I decided to post mine.

"I dream of doing an hour inspirational speech in front of the agora one day, talking about self-development, bettering yourself as a person, about how I dealt with my shyness and my fear of talking to girls. But that'd be so many people in the agora... I'm still anxious about the idea.
If you would attend that speech, please let me know. I need to know if people would be interested."

I had 60 likes or so on that post, and it gave me a boost in confidence. The world wants me to succeed, my friends want me to become the best I can be. Every guy and every hot girl would love to hear such a speech. And I promise myself to do it, record myself and put it online afterwards. I'm going to feel like Anthony Robbins on that stage!

Photography class,
On tuesday. I wasn't feeling as needy this time. I knew I had nothing to lose. Even though I was talking to the beautiful hot 8.5 and I could feel my heart pounding against my chest, it was very controllable.
As long as I walked up to talk to her during class, that was enough for me. Can't believe I almost pussied out!

I'm feeling so much more self-concious at school, it's crazy!

Fck, I still need to get her number lol.

LOL, in Humanities Sex class...
Teacher : So, did anything happen during the weekend which reminded you of what you've learned in this course?
Me : Hahaha!
Teacher : Mhmh Mindgamez? Is there anything?
Me : Noo noo...
Then the other students went about how sh1t they saw this weekend related to the sociological historical things we learned in the course.
Teacher : Anything else?
I laugh a little bit again
Teacher : What is it Mindgamez?
Me : Nothing!
Teacher : What? You just sat in your house and didn't do anything?
Me : Well I... tried something new.
Teacher : What?
Me : Yeah well... you know the thing about how the ****oris gives more pleasure? Well I pleasured my partner this weekend differently and she really enjoyed it... *gesturing fingering motion*
My face became all red. I knew that once I started talking about it there was NO turning back. Or else I'd be a ***** LOL.
The whole class laughed hard.

In Art History class,
Actually managed to talk to the theatre girl behind me a little bit. Yes, I've heard they are friendly and they are.

Thursday, September 26th
Wow... back on track.

So I walk around with my friend Piotr around the science building. I see a girl sitting by herself.
I was looking for Adenis (asian denis) all around the place. Couldn't find him. The girl looked at me like 3 times. The third time, she gave me an obvious smile!

When girls smile at you, approach them.

Me : Hey, have you seen some asian guy around here?
Her : Humm noo sorry!
She gave me some kind of ridiculous flirtatious look. It seemed obvious to me, but I pussied out. She was quite hot too... an 8 out of 10, easy.

So I walked off with Piotr. I told him I HAD to approach her for real.

I was hesitating so bad. After 10-15 minutes or so, I decide to make a deision.
Me : I don't really have that big of a reputation at school anyway, so why not make one? Why should I care about whether it turns out good or bad?
Piotr : You're right man, you go do this!

But I went in very weak. I was afraid of people hearing me. It was very quiet in the room, but there was like only 1 or 2 guys in the place. Still, my voice was abnormally quiet, I could really feel my face tensing up and I knew I lost it at this point.
I still kept going and talking. I even admitted I felt so awkward. She wasn't contributing much to the conversation, so I told her that my friend texted me after like 3 minutes of conversation, not even. LOL.

But guess what? I DID APPROACH AT SCHOOL. Which is great, because I usually never EVER do.
And that was great. I knew the moment I snapped myself out of my hesitancy, I knew I was back to owning the sh1t.

Rock Climbing class.
So this girl Kim, HB9.5 no kidding (my friend Richard can confirm) and her very hot HB9 friend (imo) named Nikki, talked to them.
They started complaining about their harnesses not working, so I went in
Me : So where's the problem girls!
Blablabla, I talk funnily a bit. I help Nikki put her harness, blablabla, she gives me the flirty eyes, strong eye contact.

It's on.

I try and go climb with them, but Nikki is taking forever so I ditch her to go climb with someone else.
Later on, some guy calls me and tells me that Nikki wants to climb with me, so I go.
Me : I find those clips on the ass so useless...
Nikki : Yeah gotta make it tight... she likes it real tight...
Kim : Oh yeah...
Me : Oh yeaah

Lol nice... a bit of flirting here and there...

When we go back to give our harnesses to the counter, there's a point where it's only me and Nikki 1 on 1... I get a bit nervous there, try and say something. We talk a bit, she gives me the nervous laugh too. She seems quite into me, maybe just nervous too... I gotta make stuff happen.

Anyway, I could see in her eyes that she was interested... She's so beautiful, it's crazy. Kim is 9.5 but she definitely looks older than us.

Also,
This week I've been friendlier with people I feel like. I've told some guys we should hang out soon. I asked HB Blondasian that we should go clubbing soon. Made good friends with Ani too, she wants to chill with me.

CONCLUSION
- HOT GIRLS are INCREDIBLY FRIENDLY! Honestly like, Kim is like the nicest girl I've ever met.
- Cold approach at school. At least once, try it out. Do it for the reference.
- Give girls the love. They want it. They crave it. They need it. Look into her eyes, into her soul, and you'll see that this is all she asks for.
- When you realize how meaningless one approach, one girl you'll meet is compared to EVERYTHING you'll experience in your whole life, this is when a feeling of abundance starts to emerge.

 

[Mindgamez]

Friday, September 27th
I thought there'd be a huge open house, according to Kareem...

But when I arrived there, there were NO GIRLS. AT ALL.
It was basically a chilling with only males, lol...

I tried to GTFO ASAP. Kareem was being a b1tch, super drunk and everything, and I wasted 40 minutes of waiting for him to come in the car. He has acting stupid the whole time, tripping and falling on the ground like a real drunk guy.

So we head downtown... We get lost a bit. It's just Me, Karl and Adenis.
We arrive around 1:30 AM, we get into Tokyo club. It's filled with groups of guys, very few girls... Most of them not even that hot.
Took me nearly 30 minutes before doing a serious approach. Just saying hello wasn't enough.
But they gave me the finger and walked off, haha.

I was totally out of state. I was approaching groups of guys, and they looked at me like I was a weirdo. They were too *cool* to act a bit obnoxious like me? Guys with egos sometimes... It's disgusting.

Went to some other bar/club, approached some girl and talked for a bit. Then, introduced myself to her guy friends who were quite open. Then I realized that not all guys are douches.

Blablalba, whatever, we get out the club and walk back home. On the way back, I do one cool approach which made my night. Just ran over to them, told them I was Jesus and I hugged the girl tight. It was so funny, she told me she loved Jesus as she walked off. Nothing special, but it got me out of my bad mood.

Saturday, September 28th
Daygame, then went to Gary's little dinner party.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9iFvw3S9VI

Daygame with Sex_is_Good. It was alright, skipped way too many sets. Still approached a few, nothing special at all. No number closes or anything, but it was fun nonetheless. He did what, two approaches in 3 hours? I was quite disappointed with him. After like 6 months of not doing daygame with him, it didn't seem like he has progressed much. Though, I was in a similar situation today. I felt like I hadn't progressed much lately.

The dinner party was fun. I met that hot half-asian girl. I was teasing her about how she was pointing at my crotch, while she meant to point my pocket to illustrate why guys had big pockets and girls had small pockets. Wtver, funny stupid sh1t. I only talked to her after the dinner, because we were sitting at different extremes of the table. Didn't take the opportunity to get her name, then we had to go separate ways. Whatever. She was quite an HB8.5. Halfies are so hot.

We went to a bar, with some girl from my gym class (HB7) and some other ugly girl friends haha, and some fun guy. It was just fun, not much happened.

On the way back, I completed the exercise in Anthony Robbins' book about evaluating your life 5 years ago, now, and how I want my life to be in 5 years.
I realized how far I've come, how much I grew. And I am very grateful for that. And I still wonder why I feel dissatisfied some days, while I have every reason in the world to be happy.
It's been almost 2 years since I've started writing this journal. And I've made so much, so much progress. I have to take a moment every day to congratulate myself on doing so.


Updates
Made good friends with Ani. She's being grateful about how I helped her break out of her shell and message that hot guy she wanted to talk to. She told me that we should hang out sometimes, that if there's anything I need, she'll be here to support me and help me out.
Texted Alexxx telling her I can't meetup with her this weekend, but the weekend after I'll be good.

CONCLUSION
- Close, close, close. Introduce yourself, get their names, make it a habit... I've lost that habit lately.
- Starting off in a good mood won't mean you'll always keep that mood. And starting off with a bad mood you'll always be in a bad mood. Your state is always changing, every second you live.
- You grow much more than you think. You have every reason in the world to be happy.

 

[Mindgamez]

Monday, September 30th
I was looking in my college's Secrets Fb page, and some guy posted this. It deeply moved me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YZlFdTIdzM

"I’m still unsure of what the future holds for me, but I’m beginning to figure myself out.

I never had it hard like most kids. I've always taken part in sports and extra curricular activities, my family loves me, I have many friends (of course, I can only truly count on a few), I get invited to parties and events, I don't try nearly as hard as I could in school yet I still get pretty solid grades. I even have a longtime girlfriend who keeps me happy and grounded and is smoking! (Bonus)

I guess when I look at it in the grand scheme of things, I've got a really great life. But of course, if you take a closer look, you’ll see that I have really big lows to match those really big highs. Unfortunately, some people look into my life and get the impression that everything about me is absolutely wonderful so they sometimes judge me or pity themselves - and that hurts me.

I may have a lot to show off and be proud of (which I am), but I live a very modest lifestyle and I never like to make myself seem "greater" than other people. I recognize how lucky I am and I wish people wouldn't judge me and assume I'm a "douche" or "idiot" based on my appearance. I drive a semi-fancy car that I worked hard for, and sometimes I dress like a bum (hey, it's Abbott and I like to watch YouTube late at night.. even if it means screwing myself over the next morning).

In high school, I saw people get picked on without hesitation. In CEGEP, I don't see bullying as much but I know it still happens and it isn't hard to spot people who are emotionally damaged in the halls. On the Internet, it's the same story; everyone holds back and is afraid of criticism.

It's easy to say to someone, "Hey, be yourself!" but it's hard to do that when you don't even like yourself. As I've grown older, I have started to like myself and because of it I'm slowly finding motivation in my life. I only wish other people could see the potential that lies within them as well. It's in ALL of you. EACH of you truly is SPECIAL. I may have had it easier than most, but I’ve had my falls and many of the people I hold dear to my heart go through extremely rough times so believe me, I get it. Don’t let pain or criticism get in your way of finding yourself. They don’t belong with you and you shouldn’t carry either of them around.

Because I am remaining anonymous, you'll never know who I am but I want you to know that I BELIEVE in you. To everyone who has a void in their heart or feels alone, remember to stay positive. I know what you're thinking. "Stay positive… For what?" We're all so young and there is so much to explore in this world! Although you might think there is nothing more for you to see, people to meet, or feelings to feel, you are WRONG! You simply cannot give up on yourself and you must believe that times will get better! Let your curiosity thrive and allow yourself to be free!

Don't let others judge you. Please. If someone doesn't give you the attention you deserve, find someone who will. I promise you, somebody will. As for the past, let go of it and break down the walls you had put up after bad experiences. Expose yourself. You might still get hurt, much like you do now, only this time you'll be true to yourself and you'll have that to hold you up.

It's time to realize that words carry a lot of weight, so cut the hate! Everything you say has value so be mindful and remember that you might be hurting somebody in order to make yourself "look cool." If you ever see someone who is alone, reach out to them!

Everybody needs everybody.

I know this is a long post so chances are you're reading through it quickly. Remember what I've said though, don't just hit "like" or move on. Of course, people might comment a bunch of trash but that's alright - everyone's got an opinion.

Just be sure to help one another. Let’s make our school a better place to be and make everyone feel accepted. Pass the love forward and remember that the best way to make yourself smile is to make somebody else smile!

I’m going to be annoying and share a song that I’ve been listening to lately that might have meaning for someone:
Bridge Over Troubled Water by Simon & Garfunkel
(or)
Against the Grain by City and Colour
I know a suitable song is sometimes all you need when you’re down. If that helped at least one person, then I’m happy. If not, then I’m embarrassed.

As a side note,
I'm sorry this went from a secret about how I get sad even though I have a lot to be happy about into something much bigger. I guess I got carried away when I thought about all the pain I see in other people and how they let their fear of criticism dictate their life. That saddens me the most. Please don't let that happen. Be you.

Here’s another secret for fun: I spend most of my hard-earned money at the Munchbox because I’m too lazy to make myself a lunch. What a foolish way to live, no?"

And then I understood how being "successful" socially at school won't necessarily bring you happiness, that everyone has to go through ups and downs, that not every very confident guy out there is a douche-bag or every hot girl out there with a b1tch barrier.

So yeah,
Arrived later at school that day because class cancelled. Had to do homeworks. I saw the 8.5 from my photography class far in the hallway as I was walking to class. I didn't bother talking to her from *****ing out lol.

Had 2 cool guys' numbers today. I have to start asking girls' numbers.

Anyway,
I actually did a cold approach solo at the local mall. It's been a while... finally! Haha.
Took me nearly 5-10 minutes of hesitation. She was sitting by herself. I don't know why I wait so long... I have to stop waiting.
Had a boyfriend, I eject.

Next time, I have to approach girls moving, be willing to run back to them.

CONCLUSION
- Popular "successful" people socially, doesn't mean you've got it all. Reaching that stage doesn't mean reaching the peak of excellence. There is so much more to achieve, to explore and to learn. Having it easy all your life doesn't give you depth really as a person, it will just make it smoother for you. They ain't gods, they just had it easier, but it doesn't make them any different from you.
- Approach alone.

 

[Mindgamez]

Tuesday, October 1st
Nice nice nice.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hh9yZWeTmVM

English class is funny. We had to do "theatre", so I stood up on my chair to act the main character. Fun times. After class, I walk a bit with the 6.5-7 to the caf. On the way, I see some other dude and I ditch her lol.

Photography class,
So we've got our little break... I just let the 8.5 pass RIGHT in front of me and I don,t do sh1t about it.
I'm feeling like a b1tch because of that. But to remedy this, I go talk to her after class. We walk next to each other for a while, I'm naturally laughing at her accent and out of nervousness, but that's ok.

I told her, a bit hesitantly, that we should go get tea at the caf, but she tells me she wants to go see her friends instead.
Her : But thanks anyway!
At least she had a bright friendly smile at her face. I like these much more than b1tchy no's! So she just walked away.

And I felt really good just for acting upon it. Then, I knew it wasn't about getting it with her, it was about getting better!

During break, I spot Arshad and Magick. Magick's a cool guy, I should get to know him...
I go to Sex class, get kicked out because cellphone was ringing... pfft. I go study in computer lab, good stuff.

I spot one hotass 8.5 (from my Humanities sex class) in the bus line going to the mall. She looks at me and then smiles away. Girls do that all the time to me! Omfg I have to approach. It was a great opportunity. But yeah, talked to dude Keval instead, which I knew already.

At the bus stop next to the local mall, I spot my filmmaker friend Nick and his buddy and chat with them instead of going approaching at the mall. Bus came in 10 minutes anyway, but next time I won't make excuses not to go.

CONCLUSION
- It's not about getting it with the girl! It's about getting the social life you want, acquiring the social skills that will drive you towards your future goals. I want to be a filmmaker, and I need to learn how to connect with people and lead! Girls come second.
- Put your priorities in order. For me, school comes first, then filmmaking and piano, then social life, then girls. Of course, I haven't been in such a mindset lately, putting girls first. But girls are nothing...

 

[Jack Wealthy]

Hey man; you're at a level I was at early last year I think. Do you approach heaps, but then often miss really good opportunities?

If so, stop approaching heaps and only approach at the good opportunities. Many reasons for this, chiefly preventing burnout and because there is better things to do with your time. It's a realistic mating strategy.

 

[Mindgamez]

DAYUM.
It's been FOREVER since an update. But yeah, good stuff happened during this time. I'll try and remember as much as I can. Here we go...

Friday, October 4th
I remember going to a party. It was a great party!
I was with Oli, Kareem and some other people.

[VIDEO]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MF3dkp0I1-M[/VIDEO]

Guess who it was? It was Valeria I met from Day 4 (or 5, can't remember) from the 30 day challenge I didn't finish. She texted me literally like 6 months later LOL, inviting me to her party. Great stuff. Keep the numbers of the girls you thought it didn't work, because it might work later on.

Also, she told me that I was allowed to sleep-over at her place. I took it as a possible invitation for sex...

So I arrive at the party. I meet some people, some girls.
At some point, Valeria grabbed me by the hand and we walked to people and she introduced me to them. She was attracted to me I could tell. I just kept walking around and flirting around with a couple girls.

But I very veerry quickly get drunk.... But like not just drunk. but DEAD FCKN DRUNK.

I couldn't even move. I had to stay outside and couldn't even talk much. Some girls were coming next to me to take care of me. Some asian girl was staying with me the whole time, she was very nice. A 6 or so, but still. At some point, I puked all over the stairs (hopefully it was outside lol).

After a couple minutes, Oli calls Valeria to go see me. She comes to me and starts kissing me on the lips. I refuse to open my mouth because I just puked EWW LOL. I thought about that and didn't make out with her.

Anyway, I ruined my whole night because of this. The slight movement would make me puke, so I had to spend my WHOLE night just doing nothing... ****, I could have tried to get a lay with some girl from there. The next morning, I woke up and I was totally out of state. Too shy to talk to people, I was a little ***** lol.

Anyway, it was a fun night.
The next day, I talk to Valeria and she tells me that we should party again sometime. I tell her that I go clubbing every weekend, and she told me she'd be down to join.

She's bisexual which is quite great, but she's just average looking IMO. Still.

So yeah,
I did some daygame during the weekend if I do remember. Once with Sex_is_good. It was alright.

Tuesday, we go to the ecomuseum with photography class. Great place. I talk a bit to the girls, just a bit. I tell the hot 8.5 that we should do a photography team. She seemed shy to talk to me, so was I. But this time, it felt very different. I was accepting my shyness for what it was. I wasn't resisting it, and I told myself that I'd just make everything cuter.

We were laughing together, she was mimicking my movements and behaviours too. I felt like we connected very well. She was beautiful, she probably was attracted to me I thought. The little trip was an hour or so.

We kept playing around, I kept teasing her. Too bad she didn't like the same stuff I liked, didn't like asian food and was a lazyass.

At the end of class, as we go back to school, I try to get her number but she tells me that she doesn't give her number away. So I just walk off with a Pfffttt... while she laughs. Maybe she didn't really use her phone? Maybe she was just fcking sh1t testing me? Maybe I should PERSIST next time?! Fckn b1tch I was, but at least tried the close.

Thursday,
Rock climbing trip. I shyed away from getting Nikki's number, but no worries. I'll get serious next time.

During the whole week,
I was trying to do a couple approaches at school. I was hanging out with Jacod and Porno and we did a few together. I remember that Free Hugs day I was participating in, and I was giving hugs to everyone. I met some cute girls too.

I also added a few random girls on facebook. Some of them gave me their number, and now I have to text them and get to meet them in real life!

Forgot to say that one random added me too, saying that she saw my comment on her anonymous post on the college's matchmaking facebook page (yes, there is one lol... you anonymously ask the admin to post a description of you and interested people comment back). Basically, this proves that I'm not bad looking, that I'm actually good looking

Friday
I was quite nervous for my oral presentation for Sex and Sexuality class. I was forcing myself to be high energy, but it didn't quite work haha. Anyway, still managed to do the presentation without that much trouble. Though, it was amazing how stifled I was. I FELT it in my throat, I was tensing up. Even though I practised a couple times already, when I was in front of the class, not nearly as many good ideas or sentences came out of my mouth! I was stifled... And it made me realize that this is kind of how I feel when I'm around girls. I'm stifled, and when I'm not feeling present not nearly as many good ideas come out of my mouth.

 

[Mindgamez]

Guided meditation.
At the end of Sex class, she made us to a guided meditation. It was amazing.

She guided the whole class. She told me to relax for the first few minutes. It felt like the guided meditation MP3s I sometimes listen to.
After a few minutes, she told me to imagine my inside world as an onion.

And she told me to start peeling away the layers one by one.
I removed my name.
I removed my age.
I removed my friends.
I removed my family.
I removed my talents.
I removed my goals and objectives.
I removed my academic results.
I removed the game.
I removed my feelings and desires.
I removed myself completely from everything.

And then she asked me : What do you want out of life?
The first word that came to mind, immediately, without resistance, spontaneously, was love.
And as soon as I realized that, I almost cried like a little b1tch. I tried not to, because I didn't want to look like a wimp to other people. And then I felt like god was with me, the universe with me. I felt like I was a super saiyan. I felt like everything was possible. And then I realized that all that was blocking me was my mind and myself, I had a big epiphany. Life was about giving love.

Nothing stops me from achieving my goals, except for MYSELF.
It all comes down to ME. It's my mind, I create the possibilities.

NIGHTGAME!
It was my best one ever. To be honest, it really was.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qW7OiyPpVEU

Why? Because I felt like everything and nothing mattered. Whether I succeeded or not didn't matter to me.

At first I was shy to open, but near the middle and end, I was in a great mood and girls were coming to me. I remember that girl who was eyeing me, HB8, then I came to her and took her off her boyfriend. We grinded for a bit, her boobs were giggling in the air as she shook her body. Then, her boyfriend took her back LOL.

Then, I opened a group of asians. That tall asian girl spotted me, and as I shook her hand, she directly put her hand around my neck. We started grinding a bit, it was quite nice. We chatted close proximity, but when her friends walked away she wanted to go see them again.

Little problem! When she comes back, her friend thought that I stole her wallet and get SUPER mad at me. I showed her my empty pockets and they understood it wasn't me.

Some other girls I approached, I went physical with since the start. Extremely hot women everywhere. The Muzique club is the best!

When I bombed? I didn't care, because all I wanted was to give love.
Some girls who looked at me weird at the beginning of the night, they welcomed me with the nicest prettiest smile ever at the middle of the night. Sometimes I'd come up to them and open with : I gotta tell you something. God is with you no matter what, and the universe is with you!

And I said it with such enthusiasm it was almost funny. Then, I looked at every girl like none of them mattered, how none of them compares to the INCREDIBLE AMOUNT of experience I will pick up in life. It doesn't compare to the amount of 9s and 10s I will be having sex with as soon as I reach that level. Soon probably

I don't see my nights in terms of results, but in terms of how much fun I had. Thanks for the guided meditation Mrs. Johanna

Not only this, but I was constantly thinking about pulling. When some girls were resisting or walked away from me, I came back high energy, asserting myself going : HEY!! Let's go over there, tadadada.
I managed to dance with a few by leading a bit, but nothing more.

Outside the club, I tried to close with that set of lesbian girls. I offered them a ride home, but didn't work.

Saturday,
I'm chilling with my old friends from high school. For some reason, I'm *****ing out from approaching because I feel the pressure that I'm being judged by them. But then I said fck it. Then I approached the set of two girls sitting at a table at some bar. I was with my drunk friend. It seemed to be going fantastic to be honest, until I went for her number and she seemed to be giving me the fake smile. I tried to lead them out of the bar, taking her by the hand. Blablalba, she has to meet up her friends and it ends up not working out lol. Anyway. She never texted back, but whatever. HB8.

Sunday, October 13th
Met with Alexxx...

The day before she told me I'd be hard to have sex because her parents were at home...
I told her that we could do it in the car, and she agreed that I'd be a great idea.

So we met at the train station, and surprisingly it was DEAD EMPTY.
That's a wonderful thing. I see her, we make out immediately. I bring her to the car and we start making out some more. In the middle she goes : So what do we do now?
Me : Well there's some construction workers around here, so lets go at the end of the parking.
Her : Alright!!

So I park my car over there. It's empty, but it's bright and sunny. We decide to open the back windows fully, hop on the back seat. We start undressing.
She goes fully naked, so do I.
If someone passed on the street behind us they'd probably see her tits bouncing up and down!

So we had sex in the car. And it was my best sex yet
We did a couple positions, from her on top to missionary to 69. Tried the side saddle but didn't work out lol.
At some point I tell her that she's my slut, and then I start spanking her ass.
Her : Ohhh slap my ass again...
And then I go again. At some point she tells me she's going to ***... I don't know if she did. I order her to suck my **** at the end and I *** in her mouth. After she's done, she opens her mouth full of ***. Nasty girl loves it.
The whole sex lasted almost 45 minutes NO JOKES! It was intense... I couldn't stop and I couldn't get enough of it. Her whole body was dripping with sweat, she obviously enjoyed it, probably even more than I did.

When I really look at her, she's just a 6.5 or so. But she's really good at sex and and sucking ****, and she's very adventurous about it. She doesn't mind doing it naked in a car windows open, and I love that.

Later,
Meetup with Porno at the village next to the college. It's filled with old people, but we see a set of two cute girls. So I cross the street and approach them directly.
Got her number, but she didn't respond when I called or texted her. We had to let them leave because we had to wait for our friend for a school project. Ends up that he forgot to show up lol...

CONCLUSION
- The meaning of life is love.
- Have sex in a car. It's great. Have the reference of having sex in the car, so it won't be such a big deal next time!
- After that, I watched some p0rn. And it made me realize that girls are absolute horn dogs and they LOOOOVE sex so much. Then, I was walking around thinking about how every girl I walked by was dying to live those sexual fantasies and get spanked like b1tches. They can't resist it.
- Go for the CLOSE to matter what. Go for the PULL. You KNOW what to do, do it by any means necessary.

 

[RiceandChicken]

Ha. Nice report man. So I assume you have yourself a reliable FB now don't ya?