Journal - Approaches on street, at mall, etc.

[NorwegianDJ]

NDJ it's 1h30 long

The paperback is like 450 pages, so the audio version must be nothing compared. Get the paperback and do the excercises.

 

[Mindgamez]

Monday, February 20th
Got rejected.
I patted her shoulder, said hi. She quickly looked at me, made a 0.3 second eye contact, and then she continued talking to her friend. Claudia never does that. I think she did the same some days ago. She could at least say hi politely, but she just ignored me completely. I just walked off.

The other day I played with her hair. She let me do it, but she wasn't doing any eye contact. I don't know what that means. I talked to her a little, she laughed and stuff. Anyway, I think I'll move on on this one. I find it disrespectful to ignore someone, doesn't matter who it is. Maybe what I can do is tease about how shy she is about talking to me. She might be just shy, because she's asian. Or maybe it's just no interest.

I know what's my problem. I take AGES to act. And I wait way too long, and the vibe kills and kills itself. The other time, we were talking and laughing about porn/sex stuff, and I just stopped literally. I moved on to talk to Mel instead, and when comes the time I want to game that other girl again, well the vibe isn't here anymore. That's my problem. I don't take the right moment, I wait, I wait, and I don't escalate and I stay at the same level. She looses interest this way. Anyway, my feelings for her kind of died. It's enough. I focus on only one girl at a time, it's bad.

Dreamed about her last night. We made out passionately, it was sweet. I woke up and I was amazed. At the same time, I hate dreams like that because they make me needy and think about how great it could be to be with her.

Played soccer with two popular guys from my class during PE. Couple high fives and a lot of fun. During math class, I sat to a different table. Joked about how the teacher used real gum to stick her posters to the wall with the girls, etc. No big interaction though. 2 uglies and 1 HB7. She's pretty cute, but taken. Used to have a BIG oneitis crush on her. It devastated me haha. Now, I have no feelings for her.

Did the auditions for my talent show today. There were maybe 10 people watching, but I was still feeling nervous. It's embarrassing because I sweat when I play the synth sometimes. I'm just too focused, but I think that nervousness make me sweat too. Anyway, my performance was great. It's a very difficult song... Next time, when I'll be doing the show for real, I'll headbang and rock on. I don't know why I'm anxious about this. Without bragging, I think I'm the most experienced pianist in my school (11 years) and I have no reason to worry, but I still do.

My confidence is still not that great honestly. I'm still talking to the same girls, but I tried to talk to some others today. No big interactions or connections though. Just telling random remarks here and there.

 

[Mindgamez]

Wednesday, February 22nd
Pretty fun day actually.

Talked to 3 girls I used to talk to before during math class. That was nice.

During physics class, I tried to grab the ruler from that girl. Let's call her frizzy hair HB7, because I shouldn't be saying names. I know her well and I love annoying/teasing her. She said loudly : What are you doing?! I said that I needed the ruler. She said : Oh no don't touch it! It's mine I need it! Draw the line by hand. Then I said : Ohhh no you suck! Classmates were watching. One girl said : Ohh, it's a couple fighting. I turned around and said : Uhh no! I was kind of chickening out. Frizzy hair laughed and didn't say anything.

Haha the end of the day was funny! A girl (the friend of the girl I got drunk with sometime ago) begged for me to help her for her song for the upcoming talent show and she told me that she needs my help tomorrow. I told her that maybe I couldn't and stuff. Guys and girls around me were watching me, thinking that she was asking me out or something and I kept saying no. She kept following me. One of my guy friends passed by, giving me a *clap clap* and saying : Hey dude! Take the opportunity, because girls throwing themselves at you, it doesn't happen really often. I tried not to laugh, but hahaha... nothing was going on. She's just a 4, ew.

I met this asian girl, rated 5. She's the drunk girl's friend. She's a nice person and she loves dancing! That's great. She could be a nice friend. I don't know if she was attracted to me, but she tried to isolate me at times and she wanted me to take the subway with her and go to her direction. We were going different directions... I'm not that needy and she's not pretty.

Tomorrow I'm playing the piano for the whole cafeteria. There will be at least 300 people listening to me. Hell yeah, time to show off my skills. It might help me spark some conversations later, who knows.

My listening skills improve. I can pick up on little things and do better conversations. That's a good thing.

 

[Jack Wealthy]

Nearly every behaviour you mentioned and questioned was a **** test. Examples: "she tried to isolate me at times and she wanted me to take the subway with her and go to her direction. We were going different directions... I'm not that needy and she's not pretty."
You passed. You did what you want.

"I patted her shoulder, said hi. She quickly looked at me, made a 0.3 second eye contact, and then she continued talking to her friend. Claudia never does that. I think she did the same some days ago. She could at least say hi politely, but she just ignored me completely. I just walked off."
You failed. You should have cut in. If you think it is rude, SAY SOMETHING.

Literally this exact thing happened to me with this chick called HBHot last week. I said "HEY! HEY! Are you ignoring me?" (It was a question but I didn't curl my sentence up at all) She said no. I said "Because you're f*cking **** at it." She laughed.

Notice how I passed? I did what I wanted to do, despite her reaction. Unless it is a severe negative reaction then she wants you. Assume attraction.

 

[Mindgamez]

Jack, you're right man.

Thursday, February 23rd
I think I failed another **** test today...
Frizzy hair HB7 told me during class : Hey, are you going to be mature someday? My friends behind me said : Ohhhh! Ouch... Their remark kind of threw me off track. I couldn't smile. I forced it and said : Well, if you mean to stop teasing you well, I won't. I thought about it and she's not my type. She's too serious, has very low patience and gets annoyed or mad easily.

Remember about Mel? The girl I used to obsess about and dream about at night? I thought about it. Talked to her today and told some jokes to her, but she takes it so seriously sometimes. She's not perfect like I used to say. She doesn't have perfect eyes or hair, or smile.

And there's that other HB7 girl I liked. Okay, she has a hot body but I never took the time to look closely at her face. She's ugly. Enough said. She sat in front of me during French class. Me : Hey, you know that you're a very kind person? She looks at me weird. Then I ask for some chocolates and she says no lol.

I was feeling pretty nervous the hour before. I like public attention, even though I'm not comfortable with it sometimes. I knew I really wanted to do it though, but I was kind of scared, I don't know why. I'm very good at playing the piano, so I played the piano at the cafeteria. at least 200 people were there. That's pretty cool! My 11 years of experience really helped me to give a good show. The whole cafeteria clapped their hands and screamed as I left the chair and did the rock sign with both my hands. I wanted to haha. Confidence was alright. Random guys went to see me to congratulate me. They told me that I should be a pianist later and they told me to go back. I didn't have any more songs to play so haha. I might play again tomorrow. Hope the teacher says yes! I felt really good after what I did. People might come and strike conversations with me after this.

Talked to some other girls after this. The usual ones though.

I'm feeling less and less needy. I have more stuff in life to do than just care about girls. The ones I used to like aren't even that pretty... What's the point? I will practice on them but nothing more I think.

Love that song. It's called Limitless.
Do you believe in everything?
Do you believe in everything, and everyone you meet?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNrdGPrTtvY&ob=av2e

 

[LearningSlowly]

Frizzy hair HB7 told me during class : Hey, are you going to be mature someday? My friends behind me said : Ohhhh! Ouch... Their remark kind of threw me off track. I couldn't smile. I forced it and said : Well, if you mean to stop teasing you well, I won't. I thought about it and she's not my type. She's too serious, has very low patience and gets annoyed or mad easily.

Hey man. That girl sucks for taking a stab at you like that, but there's always a kernel of truth in every criticism that really hurts. It seems like this one stung.

Maturity comes from directness about your feeling. You're touching girls, which is great, and exactly what you should be practicing, but it's coming from this kindergarten-crush sort of zone. You tease them, and are coming from a sexual place, but you refuse to allow your sexuality through, and are therefore incongruent. Your teasing, which seems to be childish, and have no adult sexuality to it, becomes annoying.

I hope that helps some.

It's not easy to become more sexual with girls you already know, you'll only mess it up. Cold approach to get some new girls to practice with, and be ready to take advantage of a new school next year.

 

[Mindgamez]

Thanks Learning. This situation made me realize those things. Touching doesn't mean much when you're simply friendly or playful. The thing is I didn't escalate and kept doing the same things. At the beginning she though it was funny but there was nothing new with time. Felt less confident today because I was thining about my mistakes, but it doesn't matter. I feel wiser though. I feel like with every mistake I progress! I know what I have to change and I'm glad people tell me. Thanks frizzyhair girl, and Learning.

Tomorrow there's an event and my city stays awake till 3am. Shops and subways will be open too! I'll practice my approaches. My buddy Ioan (the dude With who I went to the mall with for the first time) will be here. AFC buddy too, but he's okay with me approaching so that's nice.

Casta lost his motivation, kind of... Hope he'll get back on track. I don't want to do the bootcamp by myself... But it looks like I'll have to. Anyway, it's my life and this is for myself.

Wish me luck guys. Hope I'll push my comfort zone as ****. Must do number closes. Even if I don't reach 6 I'll be happy, but I'll try. As much as possible. I'm so tired of feeling like I'm not living to the fullest.

 

[Jack Wealthy]

Hey man. That girl sucks for taking a stab at you like that, but there's always a kernel of truth in every criticism that really hurts. It seems like this one stung.

Maturity comes from directness about your feeling. You're touching girls, which is great, and exactly what you should be practicing, but it's coming from this kindergarten-crush sort of zone. You tease them, and are coming from a sexual place, but you refuse to allow your sexuality through, and are therefore incongruent. Your teasing, which seems to be childish, and have no adult sexuality to it, becomes annoying.

I hope that helps some.

It's not easy to become more sexual with girls you already know, you'll only mess it up. Cold approach to get some new girls to practice with, and be ready to take advantage of a new school next year.

Cheers. That helped me.

 

[Mindgamez]

Tuesday, February 28th

I haven't wrote here in a while. Too busy with exams!
Saturday night, I wanted to do some cold approaches on the street. My friends were pretty negative about it, and I ended up not doing any. They told me it's nearly impossible to pick up girls randomly and it comes off as way too creepy. I know it's not right at all, but their words still got to me. I'm too influenced by the outside world sometimes.

Met this girl, an asian HB8, some friend of the girl I got drunk with for the first time (let's call her drunky HB6 because I want to). Alright, so at the beginning I was kind of shy and didn't go any sexual yet. My 3 other guy buddies were there too. We wanted to go to the museum, so we walked to it. There was a long waiting line, so we waited. I decided to do something about it. At some point, the 2 girls rubbed each other because they were feeling very cold. I told them things like I like seeing girls touching each other. I told them they looked horny. Asian HB8 started laughing and I continued the conversation. Once, she told me to spread my legs and I asked why. She told me she wanted to kick my balls, blablah. I was touching her, but she wasn't really touching me, or maybe she did it subtly. At one point, she joked about something and then acted like she was rubbing her body on mine. I then took a step forward and did it for real. It lasted 2 seconds and she backed off, laughing as hell. I think that things were going great.

Drunky is such a ****block sometimes. Whenever I tried something on asian HB8, she often tried to put me off track. She said things like : Oh, go away, go away. Wussh wuush. You'll traumatize her. I wasn't offended by these and I took it as jealousy (she used to have a crush on me, I don't know if she still does...). But then, for some reason, I kind of backed off for a moment. Drunky said : Hey, stop trying to pick her up. You're traumatizing her! I didn't know what to say. Should I have said yes or no? I just said no, and then I started to question myself and ended up thinking too much... I told myself that maybe I did something wrong, that maybe my friend were right that going too direct is creepy. Right now thinking about it, I regret because I stopped taking bold actions. I was doing weaker.

Asian HB8 started backing off for some reason. In the museum, they were both ditching us to go see things. I then told myself well, **** off for now. I visited the whole museum with my 3 other guy friends. AFC buddy texted Drunky and we met after we were finished. We went to some other place. They seemed to try and avoid us. I didn't know if it was a **** test or not. I told myself, fvck that behaviour. I walked in front of them and told them Hey why you guys so far away? We chatted a little. I told Drunky to look at me in the eyes when she talks to me. I told asian HB8 to be more polite and stay with us. She looked at me, did a little smile and continued walking. I actually stopped them like that something like 2 or 3 times.

They kept escaping. In the end of the evening, they just escaped magically, and we lost them in the crowd of people. I lost interest in asian HB8. They could've said goodbye at least, but they didn't. Their excuse was that they were really tired. It was like midnight, and they told me that they slept like 3 hours last night. She just left with Drunky. Maybe was I too direct, too creepy with them. I started analysing what I did again.

I realized one thing. All I was talking about was sex, or other little pointless things. I didn't made any deep connections or anything. I wasn't begging for sex though, well at the beginning at least. Everything was going good I think. I lost momentum and things died between us. And then I realized. I didn't give any kind of compliments.

I realized that I hardly ever say compliments to girls in general!
I don't show any signs of interests verbally. I don't know if it's good or not.

Anyway. I'm really proud of what I did. I was just going for it direct at the beginning. I am NOT used to do this. Damn, I felt like some monster. But it wasn't a long lasting feeling. Confidence died gradually. After the girls left and we were at my buddy's place, they told me how creepy I was and stuff. I was influenced. I lost my confidence in the moment. When I think about it, who are they to tell me things like that? They themselves don't have the balls to try things like that.


At school, I'm not feeling as confident. I have those roller coaster feelings again. Once I was feeling down yesterday, and then I read that post on Sosuave. I immediately leaved my chair and went to talk to the table of Drunky's friends I didn't know. Ugly girls, but whatever.

I did nothing today. Feeling not so confident about talking to that girl at my school. I always tell myself that I'll go and talk to her, but I end up not doing it for some reason. I think I feel not so confident about it, because I feel like she's the only girl for now. I end up giving her too much importance. Why do I think she's the only one anyway? I lost interest in the other girls I used to like, that's maybe why. Gotta get more choices...

 

[LearningSlowly]

Man, this is tough to read.

I haven't had the problem of such suppressive friends. It seems they don't want you to succeed.

You'll need to work on doing it despite them.

It sounds like you were having fun at the beginning, although your kino moves may have been obvious as moves, people were enjoying them and you were being genuine.

At some point you pushed the sexuality just a touch too openly, and that other girl caught it. She knows you're finding your sexual identity, so she took a stab at it.

Could she know you have been trying pick up? It would be a shame if a "friend" killed a lead like that. It would certainly lower you, and if HB8 knew, then you had no chance at her. Could be why they ran away from you guys.

Stay up man, it's not an easy ride right now but keep at it.

 

[Mindgamez]

Dude, you are a great person.
I'm happy there are people like you in this world to support us. You guys on this forum are the only ones that support me for change. And Drunky knew about me doing pick up. I don't know if she told that to the asian girl. Ugh anyway.

When it's about girls, my friends are crap and they discourage me. They are nice though, but when it comes to girls, I must not listen to them... I don't have any popular friends, or they simply are people I know and I talk to sometimes. Actually, I don't think I'm surrounded by a lot of positivity. I have some positive happy friends, don't worry, but they aren't the people I hang out with. It's maybe just me, but people around me are kind of negative. Maybe it's a reflection of myself. I don't remember who said that to me on Sosuave, but whatever.

 

[ohbe]

I know that roller coaster feeling that you get. I sometimes do too. I then just settle down for a second and think a little deeper into the future how I'm really not going to give a **** about the consequences. Anyways, great journal. Can really sense progress throughout. Stay up man!

 

[Jack Wealthy]

You're doing great man. My bestest hint at you is no, no you are not to direct. The problem is you aren't backing it fully so it falls apart at the slightest shlt test. All drunky had to do was nudge your innuendo's and they fell apart man, you are a man so keep that **** rigid. Think about it like this: You're having sex you're not that into. your penis does what? Alternates between moderately hard and half-soft. But if you're really into it? Your **** could drive nails. Be really into any girl you go for and drive through all that bull****. Never go limp on chicks, it's like a flaccid penis. It has potential but is kinda gross.

Besides that good job. The only other problems were you lost momentum and you should have taken steps back throughout. I know I'm an advocator of ploughing, but that's mostly for day game. In night you bounce around a lot so it sorts itself, but for social circle you actually have to take conscious effort to take steps back. As in, move closer to her, big step back. Hug her, walk off for a bit. compliment her, walk off a little.

Obviously not immediately because walking off while you tell her she has sexy eyelashes would be weird, but natural after. Also, when you dance with a chick drift slowly together, back out and just sweep closer. Or when you go to kiss her.

For your compliments, give ones that aren't normal. "You look hot." Is said from here to there by every douchebag with functional eyes, just a touch of arrogaqnce and the confidence to work their vocal cords in front of a hottie. However "Your face is so perfectly straight... Like art." That you can work off. The first may get a WTF? reaction and you're screwed. the second you can say "Abstract art obviously." and get a laugh at least.

But work that **** out for yourself. I'm just giving example to help you grasp the concepts, grasp them yourself.

 

[Mindgamez]

I needed this. Thanks a lot for support Jack and obhe!
I'll remember your tips. Actually, I wasn't 100% direct because I didn't compliment her. Gotta work on doing that on the next ones.

I feel like I'm progressing. I'm taking more acting these days.


Love this song... I feel so relaxed when I listen to it. It's like I'm in my own world. I feel happy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wLXJASUOmI&feature=related

 

[asianbboy]

Nearly every behaviour you mentioned and questioned was a **** test. Examples: "she tried to isolate me at times and she wanted me to take the subway with her and go to her direction. We were going different directions... I'm not that needy and she's not pretty."
You passed. You did what you want.

"I patted her shoulder, said hi. She quickly looked at me, made a 0.3 second eye contact, and then she continued talking to her friend. Claudia never does that. I think she did the same some days ago. She could at least say hi politely, but she just ignored me completely. I just walked off."
You failed. You should have cut in. If you think it is rude, SAY SOMETHING.

Literally this exact thing happened to me with this chick called HBHot last week. I said "HEY! HEY! Are you ignoring me?" (It was a question but I didn't curl my sentence up at all) She said no. I said "Because you're f*cking **** at it." She laughed.

Notice how I passed? I did what I wanted to do, despite her reaction. Unless it is a severe negative reaction then she wants you. Assume attraction.

shiit That's what it must be. Girl is showing great attraction then she's like "oh i gotta listen to my music now" and just sticks in her head phones. I should have said something, but instead i look at her stupidly and walk away. definitely a **** test..

 

[Mindgamez]

Damn asianbboy you should've stepped up or something! Next time, you'll know.

Saturday, March 3rd
HELL YEAH! I WON THE TALENT SHOW!
Feeling proud! I'm going to the finals in my town, and then if I win, I'll go to the provincial finals. Hope I'll get there man. I'm so happy.

Summary of my long ass post : I won the talent show, I got closer to girls and noticed the better results instantly, I talked to some old friends (girls), I hugged some, I learned to socialize better with popular guys, met this awesome drummer with who I'll start a band with, and I'm feeling scared about doing the bootcamp by myself.

Let's start from the beginning. From Friday morning. This post will end with what happened during the talent show.

The night before, I read the Gunwitch method. I was a little sceptic about the part about looks. I think everybody has a chance no matter how they look. What changed my way of seeing things is the part about sexual state. It's all about giving that confident, sexual vibe to others, and come closer to people. It's about letting yourself become horny and follow what your balls are telling you. With a state of happiness, people become happy too. I didn't use strong words or anything, but I got close and more physical.

I used to always stand at normal distance. I talked to the girl I used to call porn star and with who I lost momentum with (let's call her Laos HB). I stepped a little closer to her, and she was cool with it. Our bodies were touching at times and she smiled. She likes to hold long eye contacts with me.

She was sitting by herself in front of the locker, right in front of me. I was busy talking to some buddy. It seemed like she waited for me to sit next to her, so I did. She smiled, our legs were touching as we were talking. **** test! She told me that she hates when someone touches her hair. She looked at me and then smiled as she said sorry. I then moved my head left to right to say no as I said: Naah... I know you like it . I think that if she didn't like me, she would've stand up and leave but we stayed close. I later got distracted by my buddy, he said hi to me and I stood up to do him a hug and handshake. He's such a cool dude! Laos HB stayed on the ground. I finally left. Then I ask myself why I did. I think I was affected by her **** test.
Later during the night, she chatted with me on facebook. She was the first one to talk, and she usually doesn’t start talking to me first. I told her I was going to a buddy’s birthday party (mini golfing fun, lol), and she asked me if she could come.

I talked to HB big boobs (girl I used to eye contact all the time when I was a ***** back in october 2011). She was more receptive because I was closer to her. I told her that if she wanted to be a kind person, she had to lend me her headphones, she refused so I said bye to her playfully, and then she was kind of disappointed that I escaped haha. She's hot, but not so pretty face...


I socialized with a bunch of people at the talent show. I became friends with an awesome drummer that won the talent show too (there was 1 winner per category, total of 3 winners). I might start a band with this guy. He LOVES metal and me too, which is absolutely amazing. Gotta buy a better keyboard and do some kickass solos sometime.

I also met old friends. There was this girl that told me she went to the show just to see me. She told me that she dreamed about me at night sometimes (in a joking way haha! She’s awesome, pretty but so tiny).

Before the show, I was a little nervous about it, but as I got on the stage, the nervousness flew away. I was feeling in control and I was feeling good. Thanks to the people that screamed my name. I liked the little boost the encouragement gave me. After the show, a pretty girl went to me, held my arm and told me that she though my performance was so amazing and she couldn’t believe it. She always wanted to learn to play the Fantaisie Impromptu by Chopin, and then she told me she wanted to cry. Touchy girls are more attractive.


This one part is where I lost my cool. After that pretty girl and her friend finished their performance, I clapped my hands and gave them a thumbs up. They weren’t looking so it seemed like they ignored me. I then was like, okay never mind then. For some reasons, the guys backstage started to laugh. I immediately though that they were laughing at me for getting rejected. I stayed still, and then turned around to look at them. I couldn’t clearly tell if they were watching me or not, but whatever. I don’t know why I assume people mock me.

Some of the guys from a band came backstage too. They are very confident guys, and popular. I could tell by the way they acted on stage. All you need to do to be accepted by popular guys is have a good vibe and be happy no matter what. I realized that stopping the thinking while you talk makes the conversation more natural. It’s easier to relate to people that share the same interests! They congratulated me for my performance, and I did too for them.

I said hi to a bunch of other girls. Some girls that were old friends or that I didn’t really talk to. I also hugged and high fived a bunch of them, but mostly the usual ones.

I feel progress. That’s good. I have to start complimenting girls on their looks more often! I actually never do it… I hope this roller coaster feeling will go away one day. I’m never stable. It’s either I’m pretty confident, or I’m not. Sometimes, I feel insecure even with my good buddies and I don’t know why I start doubting myself. That’s retarded as hell! Whatever, It’ll pass.

Feeling scared about doing the bootcamp by myself. I’ll have to do it anyway.

 

[LearningSlowly]

This post made me happy!

Do you realize that this great feeling wouldn't be possible without those other 5 pages of your journal? If you hadn't started this progress, you wouldn't have ever had this, even if you did win the talent show. It would have been fun, but nothing like this.

This a great post that you should reread to evaluate your progress and space for improvement. I can literally see where you go right and where you go wrong, and you know it too. That self awareness will be very useful, especially since most of these realizations are positive.

Plus this made me excited for my talent show

Great job buddy, stay on this positive trend and try to close with a girl.

 

[Mindgamez]

Yeah bro!
You're so right. I love reading your comments too because I feel like the progress I do leads to somewhere.

Forgot to mention about something about the talent show.
When they announced that I won, smiling felt so weird! I was so excited, but at the same time nervous. The crowd was screaming very loudly, especially girls, because it's only girls that scream anyway lol. My lips couldn't stay still. My cheeks were almost shaking and it felt not so natural. Man, this was a weird feeling! As I smiled, the crowd screamed even louder and I got more nervous, but at the same time more excited. I was shaking. I don't know if you guys sometimes get that feeling?

I'm nervous when I have public attention, but not while I perform on the piano. Man, on the piano I felt like I was in my own world. I was submerged in the music, and my head and body were moving back and forth like I was dancing. I realized that when you do something you absolutely love and you just don't care about anything else, you become so much better. It was more a feeling of excitement than nervousness, and it made me play a little too fast but it doesn't matter. It was a load of fun.

 

[Mindgamez]

Thursday, February 8th
I ****ing missed my chance, again.
I went to play mini golf with a bunch of friends for my buddy's birthday. The waitress at our table was very attractive, I'd say HB8-9 easily. She was 18. My friend wasn't afraid to tell her she's a charming person, but he says it in a so playful way that it can't be taken seriously. I couldn't say any compliment to her, and now I feel bad. She was probably just being friendly, but I liked her smile she gave me from across the room. I could also catch her looking at me sometimes. Why didn't I do ANYTHING?

There was another girl, HB7. She looked younger. We locked eye contact for a while, she broke it first. She looked pretty open to be approached. She waited near the counter looking at my direction. I ****ing didn't act, again. I just keep kicking myself in the butt every time I look at the past opportunities I missed.

The mini golf was very fun though. My friends are so damn awesome and light hearted. I love this! I poked drunky's boob by accident and she started laughing. I was like ugh. She's HB6, not pretty enough. There was this little blonde girl, cute but not hot though. I don't plan on dating her either, because she's not my type physically. I like girls that look into your eyes very long though. It's attractive. Anyway, she's just a friend and I don't want her.

I acted like such a ***** today lol... Next time I get a hot waitress, I'll try to tease her at least, do something cool. Honestly, I'm having big troubles with the bootcamp and I won't be able to follow at this pace. My best friend abandoned the bootcamp and he won't do it with me. I'm left alone, and I think I'm also worried because my friends are so not open to this kind of thing.

Saturday I'm going to the mall with 2 buddies. One had the biggest oneitis on my ex girlfriend from 2 years ago (the one I never kissed in a month... lol) and he's still recovering from her refusal a month ago. It doesn't matter how AFC he is. I will still do awesome pranks on video that I'll put on youtube. Can't wait!

I'll try approaching girls too. I MUST DO IT, I'M TIRED OF INACTION. My life won't change at this pace. I'm living at 10%... this is bull****. Let's do that ****. COME ON!

 

[Mindgamez]

Saturday, February 10th
I went to the mall today.
It's weird, because I didn't see any pretty girls of my age, or almost... there were maybe 2 of them but I skipped it again. I just approached random people, asking for random things. I didn't want to approach women in their twenties or with their boyfriend, so I haven't done anything really. It's weird, usually on Saturdays there are more girls than that! There was a lot of old people, or families. Well, too bad. Next time then. I still talked to people. I'm still scared of striking conversations with strangers, but I'm getting more comfortable with doing it.

Man... being alone by myself is SO not the same as being with a wing. He left me, but I'll have deal with it anyway. I can't force him to change. I just feel like I'm kind of lonely doing this by myself. But at the same time, I know I'm different from the other guys, because I'm really willing to change. None of my friends are like that. None! I learned to go out by myself and this is good. I'm more focused when alone but I get more anxious. Whatever.

I'm listening to Hypnotica's CDs for confidence. He proposes simple exercises and good hypnosis to listen to. It actually helped me a lot. I listened to one of these this morning and I felt a lot better.

I'll start exercising again. I stopped doing breakdance, literally! I'm so lazy these days. When I'm at home, I stay on the computer and I'm not so productive. I have to do my homeworks too and start practising the piano. I have to start sleeping earlier. I started taking cold showers in the morning and it helps me feel good, and I didn't MB for almost a week. That's good.