"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Jophil. Must read especially for Master DJ's.

Razor Sharp

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 8, 2010
Messages
328
Reaction score
58
Location
Desert of the Real
F*CK....

WHY does cancer always take the best people, while the worst seem to live forever? Hellooo, God? Can we get back Jophil? You can have D!ck Cheney!

Seriously, he left us far too soon. Dude was a class act and his insight was one of the reasons I frequented this forum, his absence is already palpable. I know he's in a better place but my own selfish take is "this sucks!".

Jophil, wherever you are, know that you've made a world of difference to a lot of young minds, it is there where your essence will live on and spread like spiritual wildfire, because nothing ever truly dies - there is only transmission and transformation.

Whenever I find myself in a position of guidance, your persona will be one of the things I use as reference. Sort of like "What Would Jesus Do", without the religious fanaticism.

God speed brother - to say you will be missed is a terrible understatement. :(
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

KarmaSutra

Banned
Joined
Oct 13, 2005
Messages
4,818
Reaction score
142
Age
53
Location
Padron Reserve maduro in hand while finishing my b
JoPhil's essence is alive and well. His legacy is one of tolerance with your Brothers' perception, while having the patience to explain to him yours.

That's how he and I went from a friendship to a kinship.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,797
Reaction score
10,027
Boilermaker said:
I disagree. I think he would have wanted to give a farewell to his brothers. This site was an important part of his life.

He probably didn't have time. Probably had to spend his last days in a hospital bed, reflecting us on occasion.
Yeah, you may be right, considering he had been gone about six weeks before we found out. Or he may have wanted to avoid any display of pity or emotion. Who can say?

In any case, the forum is definitely poorer without him.
 

5string

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 18, 2010
Messages
2,348
Reaction score
116
Location
Standing At The Crossroads
zekko said:
Yeah, you may be right, considering he had been gone about six weeks before we found out. Or he may have wanted to avoid any display of pity or emotion. Who can say?

In any case, the forum is definitely poorer without him.
I can say. Once he was admitted to the hospital, he never got out.

He's still the man.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

amoka

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 18, 2006
Messages
1,931
Reaction score
62
Thanks to 5Strings for receiving and delivering this news to the community. Though devastating, it was good for the community to know they've lost one of the finest contributor. Jophil will greatly be missed.
 

jafyk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 4, 2008
Messages
1,010
Reaction score
26
Location
San Diego, California
I'm shocked to read this. It's weird that whenever I thought of Jophil I think of 5string as well. Then 5string brings this sad news.

Well, Dear Jophil I'm sure you've given me some sort of advice in this forum. If I had known that you would be taken from us with such a short notice I would've picked your brain for more words of wisdom. Thanks for touching our lives.

To My SS Brethren
How shall we honor our fallen hero? 5string perhaps you should mail these pages to his girl just to let her understand how many lives he touched with his words.
I dedicate this song to him http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DrBLqp-s__o
 
Joined
Apr 13, 2008
Messages
137
Reaction score
5
Wow this svcks, what a shock.

Jophil had some deep and to the point comments on how women thought. Great advice all around. I used to do what Zunder did and search for just his posts and read just those.

I vote we somehow put together a Jophil best posts thread or something. This guy was one of the best in both knowledge, life experience and character.

This is sad. Rest In Peace my friend. :(
 

Heretolearn

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 25, 2005
Messages
575
Reaction score
7
Franky Four Fingers said:
Wow this svcks, what a shock.

Jophil had some deep and to the point comments on how women thought. Great advice all around. I used to do what Zunder did and search for just his posts and read just those.

I vote we somehow put together a Jophil best posts thread or something. This guy was one of the best in both knowledge, life experience and character.

This is sad. Rest In Peace my friend. :(
Agreed with all on the thread. Amazing the positive influence that Jophil had as he was a shining light to me also
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

Blue Phoenix

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 23, 2004
Messages
1,335
Reaction score
27
Jophil will live here forever as a legend.

Rock on Jo! :rockon:
 

thirdtimescharm

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 14, 2007
Messages
314
Reaction score
9
He will be missed. Always offered great wisdom, wit, and intelligence.

R.I.P. Jophil.
 

jafyk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 4, 2008
Messages
1,010
Reaction score
26
Location
San Diego, California
So, is this the first comfirmed death on this site?
 

DavenJuan

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 22, 2003
Messages
792
Reaction score
32
Location
mistake by the lake
Havent posted or visited the forum in quite some time. Something inside me told me to visit the forum today. Not exactly what i was expecting to see!

Im shocked! Surprisingly even more shaken up about this than i would have expected.

Over the years, I never knew of Jophils condition. Yet we had in many personal conversations about our lives. Reminds you of what is important and what we THINK is important.

Much love brother, Im sure youre dancin' !
 

wait_out

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 2, 2008
Messages
590
Reaction score
41
Location
Too many places at once
This made me sad despite never having met him, and I just wanted to second everything else mentioned here. I'd say its rare to meet mentors (or people even capable of it) these days and god knows there's too little sage advice being passed down on the guy side of things.

This is why i think he'll be missed on this forum. He offered nothing but useful advice to me when I was going through a bad break-up and learning a lot of things the hard way. I'd raise a metaphorical glass to jophil's memory any day of the week. Condolences to your loved ones and family, rest in peace brother.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

synergy1

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2006
Messages
1,984
Reaction score
192
john was nice enough to give me some advice about relocation to AU. This community, and others will be less now that he is gone.

Thanks buddy for the advice, and I wish you could have been around longer =(
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,797
Reaction score
10,027
Jophil was one of those rare guys who could give you good advice and not make you think he was talking down to you. He deserves all the kudos he's been getting here.
 

OamImrsNemo

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 19, 2009
Messages
171
Reaction score
2
Location
Cali
Its weird....

I have one of the worst days of my life I am broken down.....

So I resort to DJ forums I have not been in a while......

How can I feel pity for myself when ones life has been robbed...


FTW......

Thanks guys for always been supporting and for advise its like a litlle brotherhood here...

Much love guys sorry for my absence sorry Jophil...You always had great advise!
 

DMEDFISIK

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 25, 2009
Messages
127
Reaction score
7
May his soul rest in peace. It's strange I never knew he had cancer. He was a tough man until death--an admirable display of stoicism.
 

countermart

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 27, 2009
Messages
175
Reaction score
16
Location
The edge of destiny
Cancer takes another one. I never met Jophil except through this forum but his comments were spot on and he helped me when I was way down. Thank you, Mate.

Countermart
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Top