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Joint surname??? NO WAY IN HELL!!!

Would you consider having a joint (hyphenated) last name with your wife?

  • Yes

    Votes: 4 10.8%
  • No

    Votes: 33 89.2%

  • Total voters
    37
  • Poll closed .

bat soup

Master Don Juan
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I was thinking today how i'm just seeing more and more men with these "hyphenated" surnames (joint husband and wife last names) :crazy: . I may be old fashion but I think giving my name to my woman (if she exists and is truly worthy of it) is one of the GREATEST GIFTS A MAN CAN GIVE A WOMAN.

Call me sexist, but nothing feels great to a man when his woman takes his name, has his children and becomes his intimate partner in life. I'm still a man, but she becomes the "backbone and the Love that holds the family together" and i'm not ashamed to say that.

HOWEVER, for me personally I would never ever consider changing my name....THE ONLY POSSIBLE EXCEPTION IS IF SHE HAS NO ONE IN HER FAMILY TO CONTINUE THE FAMILY LEGACY "NAME THAT IS" AND EVEN THEN I'M DOUBTFUL....

I'm looking at couples that have done it and in EVERY CASE I SEE WOMEN WHO ARE EITHER DOMINANT OVER THERE MEN, MEN WHO ARE TOO SUPLICATING, WEAK OR JUST DESPERATE.....

Any thoughts???
If a woman suggests this, just tell her to shut up and make dinner.
 
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Lookatu

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Any woman not willing to change her last name for you isn't worth one marrying. Simple as that.

With that said, my wife was willing to change her last name but for business reasons, I told her to keep her maiden name. But no hyphens or anything. Plus it helps that my house title is fully under my name.
 

rjc149

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Woman I knew who was married at first took her husband's name. During the googly-eyed honeymoon years, her Linkedin, Facebook, professional/legal title etc. all used her husband's surname.

As the marriage dragged on and her attraction for her husband fell, she began hyphenating her maiden and husband surname.

In the final months before divorce was filed, her Linkedin, Facebook etc. were all changed back to her maiden name only.

It seems to be a good barometer of her investment and commitment to the marriage, and how she was gradually but definitively ridding herself of him.

If your wife refuses to change her name, she's essentially refusing to accept the marital custom of life-long commitment to you -- she's going in with an escape plan. If you're married to woman who wants to begin using her maiden name instead of yours, you have a problem.
 

Lookatu

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I also find there is always some hidden form of power struggle for independent feminist women that wants hyphenated names. They will not fully comply and there is always going to be some compromises or tip-toeing going on in that marriage.

I think guys should be aware of those things and if they are allowing that kind of game playing with power balances, shame on them. As they say, there can only be one head in the marriage. Women should always be the shoulders that supports the head, not the other way around.

Hyphenating names is something that has only come about since the wave of feminism and allows women to have their cake and eat it too basically. My $.02
 

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bcude

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Everyone around me seem to have joint surnames, so this is definately increasing in popularity and correlating with a more feminized society.
The argument is something along the lines of wanting to respect her family (by keeping her surname) and the question why we can't do a compromise and have joint surnames. It's the sensible thing to do they'll say. Most men outside of this forum don't care that much so joint it will be.
 

rjc149

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Generally speaking, women who will make good wives want to take her husband's last name and will happily accept his benevolent leadership -- as long as it's benevolent and he is doing his part to nurture the bond and meet her needs.

Refusing to take her husband's surname, insisting on a "compromise" or changing it back to her maiden name during the marriage, is a refusal to submit to him -- a challenge to his leadership.

Women who are constantly challenging her man's leadership and dominance frame make for difficult, stressful marriages. Unless the man is willingly subservient to his wife. Which, can also make for long-lasting marriages.
 

samspade

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I know a lot of hispanic people have hypenated surnames. I assumed it was for their parents; not spouse. I could be wrong....
Yes, not hyphenated, but they have their father's and mother's surname, usually the father's first. When being concise they might drop the second name (casually). E.g. Jose Navarro Hernandez. Sometimes they even tack on grandparents' and it gets a little crazy.

A friend of mine got into an argument with his girlfriend about this. She said if they have kids she wants to have her surname first so the lineage doesn't end with her (she only has a sister). He said well that's not how it's done, it's the male name first.

Both arguments sound stupid to me, honestly.

Woman I knew who was married at first took her husband's name. During the googly-eyed honeymoon years, her Linkedin, Facebook, professional/legal title etc. all used her husband's surname.

As the marriage dragged on and her attraction for her husband fell, she began hyphenating her maiden and husband surname.

In the final months before divorce was filed, her Linkedin, Facebook etc. were all changed back to her maiden name only.

It seems to be a good barometer of her investment and commitment to the marriage, and how she was gradually but definitively ridding herself of him.

If your wife refuses to change her name, she's essentially refusing to accept the marital custom of life-long commitment to you -- she's going in with an escape plan. If you're married to woman who wants to begin using her maiden name instead of yours, you have a problem.
Your example doesn't sound very encouraging. The woman took his name and bailed anyway.

Anyway, my solution is: avoid marriage. This is just one more headache it creates. She can keep her name.

As a funny side note, the Spanish word for handcuffs is "esposas" - literally, wives.
 

metalwater

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out of respect, the woman can change her middle name to reflect her born surname. if getting married should not even be a question on this or any challenge. she should be delighted to join her man in name/body and spirit. anything else is her believing that the frame of her name is better and or that she needs or wants her independence or even the leadership position. not even something to argue about, that woman should have been filtered out already because the behaviour would have already popped up in other situations.

if the man has reason to want her to keep the old name for any reason and she also agrees with him, no problem. the point is not about the specific topic of the name it is about to join, follow and help or compete, *****, and stray. It is ok for her to lead from the back, smart women do this all the time and the men are happy. the name thing is a demonstration of wanting to lead from the front.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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I was thinking today how i'm just seeing more and more men with these "hyphenated" surnames (joint husband and wife last names) :crazy: . I may be old fashion but I think giving my name to my woman (if she exists and is truly worthy of it) is one of the GREATEST GIFTS A MAN CAN GIVE A WOMAN.

Call me sexist, but nothing feels great to a man when his woman takes his name, has his children and becomes his intimate partner in life. I'm still a man, but she becomes the "backbone and the Love that holds the family together" and i'm not ashamed to say that.

HOWEVER, for me personally I would never ever consider changing my name....THE ONLY POSSIBLE EXCEPTION IS IF SHE HAS NO ONE IN HER FAMILY TO CONTINUE THE FAMILY LEGACY "NAME THAT IS" AND EVEN THEN I'M DOUBTFUL....

I'm looking at couples that have done it and in EVERY CASE I SEE WOMEN WHO ARE EITHER DOMINANT OVER THERE MEN, MEN WHO ARE TOO SUPLICATING, WEAK OR JUST DESPERATE.....

Any thoughts???
Men?

 

Atom Smasher

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Some of you guys would die on the hill of never getting married, yet are so concerned as to whether she would take your name or not in marriage. :oops:
 

Georgepithyou

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yet are so concerned as to whether she would take your name or not in marriage.
The husband is the head of the wife. He is to be her protector and provider. When a wife takes her husband’s name, she displays submission to him, which is in accord with God’s will. Notice: “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord” (Eph. 5:22; also read Colossians 3:18).
 

metalwater

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The husband is the head of the wife. He is to be her protector and provider. When a wife takes her husband’s name, she displays submission to him, which is in accord with God’s will. Notice: “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord” (Eph. 5:22; also read Colossians 3:18).
in theory for sure. in the very early times, we did not have a surname, only a name. for example, Adam. The first man is just Adam, not Adam Smith.

My great-grandma took the name of her husband, and so did great great grandma, and so on. it was not even a discussion. it is tradition, with a person's surname now being a thing of pride. would have to look at the reasons for a woman to not want it. it definitely smells of disrespect and lack of admiration for the man. would expect her to be delighted and proud to assume a place within his world. can be special cases as with all things. it is the spirit of the thing, not the details.
 

Atom Smasher

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The husband is the head of the wife. He is to be her protector and provider. When a wife takes her husband’s name, she displays submission to him, which is in accord with God’s will. Notice: “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord” (Eph. 5:22; also read Colossians 3:18).
I teach that in my church all the time as I head up bible studies throughout the year. I think you might be missing my point.
Most men here rail against the idea of marriage. “I’ll never get married!” is the battle cry of most here.
Yet they enthusiastically express the principle that a woman must be willing to take his name in marriage.

For me, of course (who is actually getting married), her not taking my name would be an absolute deal-breaker.
 

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DEEZEDBRAH

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Some of you guys would die on the hill of never getting married, yet are so concerned as to whether she would take your name or not in marriage. :oops:
Damn right.

Wants marriage, white dresses but wont take a man's name.



Add the carousel and seeking marriage as the milks gone bad.

Carl Black Label Logic has blog posts on the phenomenon. Woman dolls up at the start. After commitment, it erodes. Move in, more. Add in marriage, begin a pie eating contest.

By kids he's lucky for star fish sex once a month.

There is no excuse afterwards. There's far too much red pill in the mainstream, I feel zero sympathy for Simps and cucks playing house. Beta male providers continue to bend the knee.

I blame low T.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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I teach that in my church all the time as I head up bible studies throughout the year. I think you might be missing my point.
Most men here rail against the idea of marriage. “I’ll never get married!” is the battle cry of most here.
Yet they enthusiastically express the principle that a woman must be willing to take his name in marriage.

For me, of course (who is actually getting married), her not taking my name would be an absolute deal-breaker.
Atom mate, that is all. it's gynocentric on steroids today. Fellas continue to simp. I have made disclaimer for religious lads or the outlier. It's never that IMHO.

It's not high school sweet heart, no cuck or weird ambiguity, and playboy marries her AFTER SHE WENT ALL IN DURING TOP FORM SMV 18-23. Not as the milks gone bad push 30. Best years are over.

I see zero ROI and you can't next a wife without divorce rape. Anyway, good luck.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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The husband is the head of the wife. He is to be her protector and provider. When a wife takes her husband’s name, she displays submission to him, which is in accord with God’s will. Notice: “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord” (Eph. 5:22; also read Colossians 3:18).
I don't disagree with you BUTTTTT! In modern Era, women will pay lip service and then bait & switch.

Religious lads should d9 something 'covenant' based (ie man, woman &&& God) not STATE). The problem is that, it's just viewed as marriage by the court.and unless more men are willing to go Cobra Tate and burn everything before divorce rape, he is a the mercy of the courts.
 

Georgepithyou

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I don't disagree with you BUTTTTT! In modern Era, women will pay lip service and then bait & switch.

Religious lads should d9 something 'covenant' based (ie man, woman &&& God) not STATE). The problem is that, it's just viewed as marriage by the court.and unless more men are willing to go Cobra Tate and burn everything before divorce rape, he is a the mercy of the courts.
That is one thing that really bothers me, having to divorce would also bring great shame to my family.

Getting married outside of the state still has it's problems, the law recognises it as a comman law marriage and she can still steal your assets.

But who knows, maybe if you don't live together with your wife and put all your assets in someone elses name you could be safe?
 
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