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Jealousy

lizardking82

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Do you consider it to be insecurity? Or caring? Or them mixed? Or just the ego saying "he/she's mine, only mine". You were/are jealous sometimes?
 

Chev.Chelios

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It's utterly pathetic and will ruin your life.

For me it was definently ego.

Da dynamics shameless player post did alot for me getting over jealousy
 

Bible_Belt

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It's insecurity. You're making it obvious that you are not getting what you want, which is an unattractive trait to women. If a woman says that she likes it when you get jealous, that is a big red flag that she enjoys manipulating your emotions.
 

bigneil

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Jealousy is weakness as my dad always said.

It is a confession to yourself, your date and the Universe that you feel inferior.

You are saying "I'm concerned that this random person who I never met is better than me". Remember: on average this person you are wondering about is average. A better approach is to try to set her up with every guy you see.

The key moment in my 9 month relationship with my dream girl was in December when she confessed to having had a one night stand four weeks earlier. I said "Ha! You dumpster dove." then called for the check. We left the 5 star dinner early, but by the time I got the car door for her I said "You were honest so I can't hold it against you". On the ride home I said "I was with someone else too" and she said "See?" and I said "But I like you best" and she said "I like you best". We made out at the red light, went straight home and made love (versus sex) for the first time (3 months after sex about). That was 6 months ago and we never looked back. She insists that was the last guy she was with besides me.
 

darksprezzatura

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From an evolutionary point of view, jealousy is nothing but dread.
The fear of losing out on a source which can pass off your genes

It works differently on men and women.


For a woman, dread gives her tingles.
A man who is preselected and having sex with lots of women gets her hamster running to acquire your genes before you walk away forever.

You having sex with other women along with her would not compromise on her being able to produce your high quality offsprings.
The only valid reason is it can compromise your provider value - resources, strength, protection if you walk away after sex.

For a man, dread gives him physical, mental and emotional stress when there is a scarcity mentality and an inability to acquire new sources to pass off your genes.

A man you assume to be superior in social status, strength, resources who is hitting on your women, creates aggressiveness inside to avoid someone stealing your harem.
This was necessary during earlier times to protect your offsprings.
 

Reykhel

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Do you consider it to be insecurity? Or caring? Or them mixed? Or just the ego saying "he/she's mine, only mine". You were/are jealous sometimes?
Jealousy is like cancer.

You express it once and it grows. It becomes malignant. it festers. It eats you.

There are certain afflictive emotions which should never be expressed.

Expressing jealously should never be expressed. It will end in a cancerous death.

Not expressing jealousy demonstrates a wonderful sense of self control.

Jealousy will always make you appear low value, while elevating the value of whom you are jealous of.
 

Atom Smasher

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Funny, I've never really had jealousy under complete control, because I've never trusted women as far as I can throw them. I would never blame a guy trying to hit on my women. Rather, I would blame her if she responded to him with encouragement.

In my present relationship, jealousy has not been an issue at all. Now any woman can wander if a certain set of circumstances comes about (usually having to do with the guy becoming weak), but I must say it's nice to have a woman who I'm not concerned about.

I must say here though that she and I share the same faith, which is a massive advantage in all areas. We feel that we answer to a higher authority ( just like Hebrew National hot dogs) and therefore we are intent on treating each other right.
 

bigneil

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Jealousy is like cancer.

You express it once and it grows. It becomes malignant. it festers. It eats you.

There are certain afflictive emotions which should never be expressed.

Expressing jealously should never be expressed. It will end in a cancerous death.

Not expressing jealousy demonstrates a wonderful sense of self control.

Jealousy will always make you appear low value, while elevating the value of whom you are jealous of.
Brigitte Bardot (famous beauty originally from movie And God Created Woman circa 1958) was discovered by a man about 20 years her senior. He famously could not be made jealous. She tried and tried for years, eventually leaving him. In one of her biographies it described a moment that stayed with me (I read it in 1995). After the divorce they crossed paths outside the judge's office and there was a pause and he kissed her on the cheek.

 

mrgoodstuff

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Brigitte Bardot (famous beauty originally from movie And God Created Woman circa 1958) was discovered by a man about 20 years her senior. He famously could not be made jealous. She tried and tried for years, eventually leaving him. In one of her biographies it described a moment that stayed with me (I read it in 1995). After the divorce they crossed paths outside the judge's office and there was a pause and he kissed her on the cheek.

Great story
 

bigneil

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@bigneil and @mrgoodstuff why is this such a great story?
It's the textbook example of how the man who discovered one of the most beautiful women of all time handled her. He only expressed love, never weakness. She could never make him acknowledge that he felt inferior to another man. Meanwhile, nothing could ever make him stop loving her.
 

Von

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She cheated on him alot (and a couple of husbands later)
Jealousy is ego centered and about your deep insecurities
If you cant control it... it will destroy you
 

mrgoodstuff

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It's the textbook example of how the man who discovered one of the most beautiful women of all time handled her. He only expressed love, never weakness. She could never make him acknowledge that he felt inferior to another man. Meanwhile, nothing could ever make him stop loving her.
It was awesome she knew his stregth and kept attacking it. She realized she couldn't weaken him in that way and bailed out. He still was not made to be jealous because he KNOWS HIS WORTH
 

Dingo

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From an evolutionary point of view, jealousy is nothing but dread.
The fear of losing out on a source which can pass off your genes

It works differently on men and women.


For a woman, dread gives her tingles.
A man who is preselected and having sex with lots of women gets her hamster running to acquire your genes before you walk away forever.

You having sex with other women along with her would not compromise on her being able to produce your high quality offsprings.
The only valid reason is it can compromise your provider value - resources, strength, protection if you walk away after sex.

For a man, dread gives him physical, mental and emotional stress when there is a scarcity mentality and an inability to acquire new sources to pass off your genes.

A man you assume to be superior in social status, strength, resources who is hitting on your women, creates aggressiveness inside to avoid someone stealing your harem.
This was necessary during earlier times to protect your offsprings.
Is this post true ? The woman part ?

I ask because my mistress usually after a few drinks asks me about the wife... Not in a angry bad way but more silly women curiosity...

How's long is her hair ?... does she wear make up ?... How tall ? Does she wear high heels?... How big are her breasts ?... Does she have a big butt ?.... etc.

Puts me in an awkward position... I deflect... I never know how to answer..
 
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