IVLVS Field Journal

[ivlvs_veridivs]

Well, I guess this is the best time for me to start doing this.

As I mentioned in my previous post, I've been reading The Book of Pook, and I'm almost finished with it. Somewhere along the way, something clicked in my mind. I reached a point where I felt enough was enough. I needed to stop overthinking, embrace my sexuality, embrace my masculinity, and start approaching women.

In fact, I was even thinking about making a bet with a female friend of mine (a long-distance friend): if I didn't approach any women, I'd have to send her money.

The Book of Pook really opened my eyes. It helped me throw away a lot of the pickup material from PUAs that I had consumed over the years. That stuff always made me feel robotic, overly calculated, and obsessed with playing it safe because, deep down, I believed I wasn't enough, and I needed some magic tactic.

This book shifted something inside me. It made me realize that if I'm already doing my best (working hard, staying healthy, exercising, pursuing hobbies, reading, studying, and trying to be a virtuous person) then I shouldn't keep acting as if something is missing. I should simply approach.

Perfect is boring.

So I'm happy to begin this journal with a field report that ended in a number close.

This happened today.

I took my dog out for a walk around the time I knew people would be outside. Lately I've been making an effort to become more social in general. I was also hoping to see a girl (jogging girl) I'd noticed the day before.

Sure enough, she was there.

The problem was that she was jogging with her headphones on. It didn't feel right to interrupt someone who's focused on finishing her workout, so I kept walking. My plan was to wait until she finished jogging and took her headphones off before deciding whether to approach.

After a while, another girl caught my attention. She was walking three dogs.

I figured this was a great opportunity to socialize, have fun, and, if the jogging girl happened to notice, it would naturally create some social proof. Win-win.

Approaching was easy because my Chihuahua did about 50% of the work. The dogs immediately started sniffing each other, and my mind went blank for a second.

What the hell do I even say?

Watching my dog confidently walk up to other dogs reminded me how natural approaching is for animals. Why shouldn't it be natural for me? I also remembered one of Pook's recurring ideas "Oh la la."

So I stopped trying to control everything.

I started talking about the dogs, but something felt different this time. I felt genuinely confident. It was almost like I told myself:

"**** it. I'll let my testosterone do its job. I'll stop trying to script every sentence and just trust myself."

It honestly felt like switching on autopilot.

By this point, the jogging girl had finished and was walking nearby. I'm pretty sure she saw me having a great conversation with the girl and her three dogs.

Funny enough, after a while I completely forgot about the jogging girl.

Time flew by.

I'd say she did about 80% of the talking while I led the conversation by asking questions, teasing her here and there, and simply enjoying myself. At one point she started playing with her hair. I moved a little closer and asked a few questions about what she does for fun and her life, partly to figure out whether she had a boyfriend or was married. The girl might have got bitten by an ant I think, and never said goodbye.

She even started making playful future projections about us hanging out.

Eventually I knew I had to go for the number.

I'm not going to lie, I felt nervous.

Then I caught myself.

"Scared of what? Having the balls to show you're attracted to her? Getting rejected? Are you really going to go home feeling like a *****?"

So I went for it.

Before that we'd already exchanged names. Then I said:

"You know what? I think it'd be fun to hang out sometime. When are you free?"

She smiled and told me she was free this weekend and didn't have any plans.

So I pulled out my phone and said:

"Perfect. What's your number so we can set something up?"

She walked over next to me and dictated her number. Since she didn't have her phone with her, I gave her a quick call so she'd have mine. We said goodbye, and I headed home.

A few minutes after I got home, she called me back. I answered, joked that now we both had each other's numbers, and we said goodbye again. I also sent her a quick text with a sticker of my dog.

Looking back, I honestly couldn't even tell you all the topics we talked about.

Time just disappeared.

What I do remember is that I spoke slowly, maintained eye contact, smiled often, and felt completely comfortable in my own skin.

That, more than getting the number itself, feels like the biggest win.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

That's all it is...just act like it's completely normal and so will they...

Act like it's some monumental make or break moment and they can sense a massive pressure that you are placing on them and it feels uncomfortable and awkward even if the convo seems good

 

[BeExcellent]

That's all it is...just act like it's completely normal and so will they...

Act like it's some monumental make or break moment and they can sense a massive pressure that you are placing on them and it feels uncomfortable and awkward even if the convo seems good

Bingo.

 

[Travel memoir21]

Cold approaching is fine. But I urge you to foster and build relationships with multiple humans and people. After all, when it comes to this stuff, this is just basic human interaction. Get a life and build a social circle that's fulfilling. A male coffee buddy or friend is superior to five failed cold approaches if you're not working things like listening, story telling, building warmth and a sense of connection, being comfortable by being yourself and in the present moment etc. Read the book how to win friends and influence people and watch clips of Tonight show interviews on youtube to get you on a social mood. Joining a male cycling group or a motorcycle club that fosters a sense of brotherhood might be just what you need to understand what I'm talking about.

 

[Doctor Europeo]

Well, I guess this is the best time for me to start doing this.

As I mentioned in my previous post, I've been reading The Book of Pook, and I'm almost finished with it. Somewhere along the way, something clicked in my mind. I reached a point where I felt enough was enough. I needed to stop overthinking, embrace my sexuality, embrace my masculinity, and start approaching women.

In fact, I was even thinking about making a bet with a female friend of mine (a long-distance friend): if I didn't approach any women, I'd have to send her money.

The Book of Pook really opened my eyes. It helped me throw away a lot of the pickup material from PUAs that I had consumed over the years. That stuff always made me feel robotic, overly calculated, and obsessed with playing it safe because, deep down, I believed I wasn't enough, and I needed some magic tactic.

This book shifted something inside me. It made me realize that if I'm already doing my best (working hard, staying healthy, exercising, pursuing hobbies, reading, studying, and trying to be a virtuous person) then I shouldn't keep acting as if something is missing. I should simply approach.

Perfect is boring.

So I'm happy to begin this journal with a field report that ended in a number close.

This happened today.

I took my dog out for a walk around the time I knew people would be outside. Lately I've been making an effort to become more social in general. I was also hoping to see a girl (jogging girl) I'd noticed the day before.

Sure enough, she was there.

The problem was that she was jogging with her headphones on. It didn't feel right to interrupt someone who's focused on finishing her workout, so I kept walking. My plan was to wait until she finished jogging and took her headphones off before deciding whether to approach.

After a while, another girl caught my attention. She was walking three dogs.

I figured this was a great opportunity to socialize, have fun, and, if the jogging girl happened to notice, it would naturally create some social proof. Win-win.

Approaching was easy because my Chihuahua did about 50% of the work. The dogs immediately started sniffing each other, and my mind went blank for a second.

What the hell do I even say?

Watching my dog confidently walk up to other dogs reminded me how natural approaching is for animals. Why shouldn't it be natural for me? I also remembered one of Pook's recurring ideas "Oh la la."

So I stopped trying to control everything.

I started talking about the dogs, but something felt different this time. I felt genuinely confident. It was almost like I told myself:

"**** it. I'll let my testosterone do its job. I'll stop trying to script every sentence and just trust myself."

It honestly felt like switching on autopilot.

By this point, the jogging girl had finished and was walking nearby. I'm pretty sure she saw me having a great conversation with the girl and her three dogs.

Funny enough, after a while I completely forgot about the jogging girl.

Time flew by.

I'd say she did about 80% of the talking while I led the conversation by asking questions, teasing her here and there, and simply enjoying myself. At one point she started playing with her hair. I moved a little closer and asked a few questions about what she does for fun and her life, partly to figure out whether she had a boyfriend or was married. The girl might have got bitten by an ant I think, and never said goodbye.

She even started making playful future projections about us hanging out.

Eventually I knew I had to go for the number.

I'm not going to lie, I felt nervous.

Then I caught myself.

"Scared of what? Having the balls to show you're attracted to her? Getting rejected? Are you really going to go home feeling like a *****?"

So I went for it.

Before that we'd already exchanged names. Then I said:

"You know what? I think it'd be fun to hang out sometime. When are you free?"

She smiled and told me she was free this weekend and didn't have any plans.

So I pulled out my phone and said:

"Perfect. What's your number so we can set something up?"

She walked over next to me and dictated her number. Since she didn't have her phone with her, I gave her a quick call so she'd have mine. We said goodbye, and I headed home.

A few minutes after I got home, she called me back. I answered, joked that now we both had each other's numbers, and we said goodbye again. I also sent her a quick text with a sticker of my dog.

Looking back, I honestly couldn't even tell you all the topics we talked about.

Time just disappeared.

What I do remember is that I spoke slowly, maintained eye contact, smiled often, and felt completely comfortable in my own skin.

That, more than getting the number itself, feels like the biggest win.

Nice! Before you know it you could be spinning plates (if that´s what you want).

 

[ivlvs_veridivs]

That's all it is...just act like it's completely normal and so will they...

Act like it's some monumental make or break moment and they can sense a massive pressure that you are placing on them and it feels uncomfortable and awkward even if the convo seems good

I like how you synthesized my experience. This is definitely it.

 

[ivlvs_veridivs]

Cold approaching is fine. But I urge you to foster and build relationships with multiple humans and people. After all, when it comes to this stuff, this is just basic human interaction. Get a life and build a social circle that's fulfilling. A male coffee buddy or friend is superior to five failed cold approaches if you're not working things like listening, story telling, building warmth and a sense of connection, being comfortable by being yourself and in the present moment etc. Read the book how to win friends and influence people and watch clips of Tonight show interviews on youtube to get you on a social mood. Joining a male cycling group or a motorcycle club that fosters a sense of brotherhood might be just what you need to understand what I'm talking about.

Thank you very much for the advice. It's been a little bit complicated with male friends because at my age they are usually married and with kids, so they cannot party as I do or even have as much time as I do. I'll keep going out though and see if that way I can build a group, Facebook is another option. I'm also looking to start hiking as there are a lot of mountains where I live, I have the plan to find group for that activity.

 

[ivlvs_veridivs]

Nice! Before you know it you could be spinning plates (if that´s what you want).

Thanks, not that I'm looking forward to it, but I'm not agains it. If it happens it happens.

 

[ivlvs_veridivs]

Wanted to post an update since I'm supposedly meeting a 22-year-old girl next Sunday. We matched on Tinder, talked for a bit, she asked for my number, and we've been texting since. I asked her out last week, but I guess she was busy because we never managed to lock down a date.

Then, out of nowhere (at least from my perspective), she started giving me **** about a video I posted on social media from a rock event I attended past Saturday. She was saying things like, "So that's why you like rock?" and making these over the top comments that basically implied, "My taste is so much better than yours."

I figured they were probably **** tests, or maybe just poorly calibrated teasing. For the first one, I replied, "Yeah, and I'm tired of pretending I don't." She came back with another jab, so I answered by sending her a video of myself leaning into exactly the kind of thing she was making fun of. My attitude was basically, "Girl, I like having fun." She responded with a surprised sticker, and at that point I didn't feel like continuing the conversation, so I just left her on read. That was last Sunday.

Yesterday she texted me asking for help with a couple of things. I helped her out, and after a few messages today she asked, "So when are we finally going out and swapping stories?"

She's cute, definitely provocative, and her sense of humor is pretty dark, lol. I honestly considered telling her, "Look, that's kind of rude, and I don't really hang out with rude people." I didn't, partly because I was a bit drunk and just having a good time.

Anyway, the date is set for this Sunday. I'm also planning to see the girl I mentioned yesterday on Saturday, so it should be an interesting weekend.

 

[Doctor Europeo]

I figured they were probably **** tests

A girl testing you is not necessarily a bad thing. If girls didnt do theses tests, their body count would be astronomical. Never be angry or upset that she is testing you, just be unphazed by it and pass the test.

Its called "game" for a reason. Its supposed to be fun. Imagine playing a Mario video game but you cant lose; that wouldnt be fun. So when a girl test you just chalk it up to it being a part of the game and have fun.

I honestly considered telling her, "Look, that's kind of rude, and I don't really hang out with rude people." I didn't, partly because I was a bit drunk and just having a good time.

But was she really rude? Or was it just a test o poorly calibrated teasing? Only you can know.

Disrespect is another matter, different from a test. Never tolarate disrespect and alway be willing to walk away. Reward good behavior (however you see fit) and punish bad behavior (with silence and distance).

 

[Divorced w 3]

Wanted to post an update since I'm supposedly meeting a 22-year-old girl next Sunday. We matched on Tinder, talked for a bit, she asked for my number, and we've been texting since. I asked her out last week, but I guess she was busy because we never managed to lock down a date.

Then, out of nowhere (at least from my perspective), she started giving me **** about a video I posted on social media from a rock event I attended past Saturday. She was saying things like, "So that's why you like rock?" and making these over the top comments that basically implied, "My taste is so much better than yours."

I figured they were probably **** tests, or maybe just poorly calibrated teasing. For the first one, I replied, "Yeah, and I'm tired of pretending I don't." She came back with another jab, so I answered by sending her a video of myself leaning into exactly the kind of thing she was making fun of. My attitude was basically, "Girl, I like having fun." She responded with a surprised sticker, and at that point I didn't feel like continuing the conversation, so I just left her on read. That was last Sunday.

Yesterday she texted me asking for help with a couple of things. I helped her out, and after a few messages today she asked, "So when are we finally going out and swapping stories?"

She's cute, definitely provocative, and her sense of humor is pretty dark, lol. I honestly considered telling her, "Look, that's kind of rude, and I don't really hang out with rude people." I didn't, partly because I was a bit drunk and just having a good time.

Anyway, the date is set for this Sunday. I'm also planning to see the girl I mentioned yesterday on Saturday, so it should be an interesting weekend.

Always judge them by their actions not their words. With that said, if her personality isn’t your cup of tea, cut it if it gets annoying. Sounds like she likes you since she asked you out.

 

[ivlvs_veridivs]

Always judge them by their actions not their words. With that said, if her personality isn’t your cup of tea, cut it if it gets annoying. Sounds like she likes you since she asked you out.

Good advice! Thank you!

 

[ivlvs_veridivs]

A girl testing you is not necessarily a bad thing. If girls didnt do theses tests, their body count would be astronomical. Never be angry or upset that she is testing you, just be unphazed by it and pass the test.

Its called "game" for a reason. Its supposed to be fun. Imagine playing a Mario video game but you cant lose; that wouldnt be fun. So when a girl test you just chalk it up to it being a part of the game and have fun.



But was she really rude? Or was it just a test o poorly calibrated teasing? Only you can know.

Disrespect is another matter, different from a test. Never tolarate disrespect and alway be willing to walk away. Reward good behavior (however you see fit) and punish bad behavior (with silence and distance).

Hi doctor, thanks for your input here. You’re 100% right, it should be fun and I admit I stressed a little bit there and I think it was uncalibrated teasing on her side. Thanks for your advice about rewarding behavior.

Got to have fun

 

[Divorced w 3]

Good advice! Thank you!

I know it is, because I didn’t come up with it.

 

[ivlvs_veridivs]

Well, here's a bit of an update.

I don't know whether it was something I did or just bad luck, but everything went to ****. Spectacularly. Both dates.

FIRST GIRL
Let's start with the girl I asked out after getting her number while she was walking her dogs (the one who ended up standing me up).

We'd been texting, nothing over the top. Just normal conversation. Every now and then she'd react to one of my stories with a heart or something similar. Things seemed perfectly fine.

Last night I replied to one of her texts, and she left me on read. No big deal. The next day (Saturday), since it was the day of our date, around 2 p.m. I figured, "What the hell," and texted her.

We were supposed to meet at a bar at 6 p.m.

I sent her, "Hey, her name, how's your hot afternoon going?" She replied, we teased each other a bit, and honestly I don't think I said anything weird or off-putting.

Then I went to the gym for a run, headed home to shower, and by then it was almost 5 p.m. I ordered an Uber and texted her:

"I'm on my way. I made a reservation and wanted to check the place out a bit. Just let me know when you're nearby and I'll come outside to meet you."

The place was an arcade bar, looked like a pretty fun spot.

She replied:
"Oh, I think I got confused. So you're already heading there because of the reservation?"

I answered:
"Yeah, I'm almost there. I took an Uber because I didn't want to deal with parking."

Then she said:
"Oh, okay. I think I misunderstood from the beginning. I thought at 6 we were leaving from here together. I'm still not ready, and I think I'll get there around 6:30."

I simply replied:
"That's okay. Take your time."

I got to the bar around 5:35. Since I'd never been there before, I figured I'd get familiar with the place while I waited.

Then... nothing.

At 7:40 p.m. she finally texted:
"Hey, you know what? You were right. It was impossible to find parking. I spent like 30 minutes looking, got desperate, and left. Sorry, I owe you one."

I replied:
"Really? You should've told me you were there. I could've come out and helped you."

She answered:
"No, you were already inside playing, and honestly I just couldn't get close. I kept driving in circles and never found a spot. I got really stressed. Sorry."

My last reply was:
"Well, we could've figured something out, but okay."
Then I sent an animated sticker of two cats shaking hands.

SECOND GIRL
This is the one who got back in touch after giving me a hard time at first and was actually the one who suggested we hang out.

We agreed to go out this Sunday.

Everything seemed normal. Friday night I replied to her last message before going to bed. I'm generally not someone who replies immediately anyway(I'm usually working, reading, driving, walking, or at the gym).

I sent three simple messages:

• Asked if she'd managed to get herself a beer (she had mentioned she wanted one).
• Told her I wouldn't really be drinking again until Sunday since I'd gone out last Saturday and had a quick beer on Wednesday.
• Sent her a screenshot of a conversation with one of my coworkers because it related to a joke we'd been talking about.

That was it.

She left everything on read for the entire Saturday.

Normally I wouldn't think much of it. I'd just shrug and move on. But what I don't understand is why this always seems to happen right before we're supposed to meet.

Why leave the conversation hanging the day before the date?

Just... keep the conversation going. Am I' supposed to double-text someone I barely know?
----------------------------------
That's it fellas.

Now for the internal stuff I noticed.

For the most part I actually felt pretty relaxed while texting. But there were definitely moments where I got nervous about screwing things up.

Whenever that happened, I'd catch myself thinking: "Does this text sound needy? I don't want to come across as needy... Wait, who the hell decided this was needy in the first place?"

And then I'd spend way too much time overthinking what to send next.

The classic one also popped into my head: "If I double text, she'll think I'm desperate. The ball's in her court now."

Other than those moments, though, I honestly think the texting was fine. Before we got into the logistics of actually meeting up, the conversations had good back-and-forth. I genuinely don't know what I did that would suddenly make someone go silent the day before a date.

Getting stood up definitely messed with my head for a while.

For a moment I caught myself thinking: "What the **** is wrong with me? My ex left me the way she did, and now this girl doesn't even show up?"

My phone was almost dead (about 5% battery) so I left the bar and went home. At first I was thinking about charging it, taking my car, and heading back out to salvage the night somehow.

But once I was lying in bed, I stopped myself.

I thought:

"Wait a minute. Why do you want to go out right now?"

And the answer wasn't a good one. It wasn't because I genuinely wanted to have fun. It was because I wanted validation from women. I wanted proof that they were the problem, not me. Once I realized that, I decided I wasn't going to chase that feeling. I can stand up for myself.

Tomorrow, next week, or whenever I actually feel like going out because I want to enjoy myself (not because I need someone else's approval) that's when I'll do it.

So at 11 p.m., I stayed home.

 

[pipeman84]

How old is the girl with the dogs? and what's the deal with 3 dogs? are they all hers (which would be weird and a red flag) or it's a job for her to walk dogs?

 

[Doctor Europeo]

Well, here's a bit of an update.

I don't know whether it was something I did or just bad luck, but everything went to ****. Spectacularly. Both dates.

FIRST GIRL
Let's start with the girl I asked out after getting her number while she was walking her dogs (the one who ended up standing me up).

We'd been texting, nothing over the top. Just normal conversation. Every now and then she'd react to one of my stories with a heart or something similar. Things seemed perfectly fine.

Last night I replied to one of her texts, and she left me on read. No big deal. The next day (Saturday), since it was the day of our date, around 2 p.m. I figured, "What the hell," and texted her.

We were supposed to meet at a bar at 6 p.m.

I sent her, "Hey, her name, how's your hot afternoon going?" She replied, we teased each other a bit, and honestly I don't think I said anything weird or off-putting.

Then I went to the gym for a run, headed home to shower, and by then it was almost 5 p.m. I ordered an Uber and texted her:

"I'm on my way. I made a reservation and wanted to check the place out a bit. Just let me know when you're nearby and I'll come outside to meet you."

The place was an arcade bar, looked like a pretty fun spot.

She replied:
"Oh, I think I got confused. So you're already heading there because of the reservation?"

I answered:
"Yeah, I'm almost there. I took an Uber because I didn't want to deal with parking."

Then she said:
"Oh, okay. I think I misunderstood from the beginning. I thought at 6 we were leaving from here together. I'm still not ready, and I think I'll get there around 6:30."

I simply replied:
"That's okay. Take your time."

I got to the bar around 5:35. Since I'd never been there before, I figured I'd get familiar with the place while I waited.

Then... nothing.

At 7:40 p.m. she finally texted:
"Hey, you know what? You were right. It was impossible to find parking. I spent like 30 minutes looking, got desperate, and left. Sorry, I owe you one."

I replied:
"Really? You should've told me you were there. I could've come out and helped you."

She answered:
"No, you were already inside playing, and honestly I just couldn't get close. I kept driving in circles and never found a spot. I got really stressed. Sorry."

My last reply was:
"Well, we could've figured something out, but okay."
Then I sent an animated sticker of two cats shaking hands.

SECOND GIRL
This is the one who got back in touch after giving me a hard time at first and was actually the one who suggested we hang out.

We agreed to go out this Sunday.

Everything seemed normal. Friday night I replied to her last message before going to bed. I'm generally not someone who replies immediately anyway(I'm usually working, reading, driving, walking, or at the gym).

I sent three simple messages:

• Asked if she'd managed to get herself a beer (she had mentioned she wanted one).
• Told her I wouldn't really be drinking again until Sunday since I'd gone out last Saturday and had a quick beer on Wednesday.
• Sent her a screenshot of a conversation with one of my coworkers because it related to a joke we'd been talking about.

That was it.

She left everything on read for the entire Saturday.

Normally I wouldn't think much of it. I'd just shrug and move on. But what I don't understand is why this always seems to happen right before we're supposed to meet.

Why leave the conversation hanging the day before the date?

Just... keep the conversation going. Am I' supposed to double-text someone I barely know?
----------------------------------
That's it fellas.

Now for the internal stuff I noticed.

For the most part I actually felt pretty relaxed while texting. But there were definitely moments where I got nervous about screwing things up.

Whenever that happened, I'd catch myself thinking: "Does this text sound needy? I don't want to come across as needy... Wait, who the hell decided this was needy in the first place?"

And then I'd spend way too much time overthinking what to send next.

The classic one also popped into my head: "If I double text, she'll think I'm desperate. The ball's in her court now."

Other than those moments, though, I honestly think the texting was fine. Before we got into the logistics of actually meeting up, the conversations had good back-and-forth. I genuinely don't know what I did that would suddenly make someone go silent the day before a date.

Getting stood up definitely messed with my head for a while.

For a moment I caught myself thinking: "What the **** is wrong with me? My ex left me the way she did, and now this girl doesn't even show up?"

My phone was almost dead (about 5% battery) so I left the bar and went home. At first I was thinking about charging it, taking my car, and heading back out to salvage the night somehow.

But once I was lying in bed, I stopped myself.

I thought:

"Wait a minute. Why do you want to go out right now?"

And the answer wasn't a good one. It wasn't because I genuinely wanted to have fun. It was because I wanted validation from women. I wanted proof that they were the problem, not me. Once I realized that, I decided I wasn't going to chase that feeling. I can stand up for myself.

Tomorrow, next week, or whenever I actually feel like going out because I want to enjoy myself (not because I need someone else's approval) that's when I'll do it.

So at 11 p.m., I stayed home.

The first girl possibly didnt even drive there, just made up a story about not finding parking. In any case, both girls sound like low interest; it happens.

 

[ivlvs_veridivs]

The first girl possibly didnt even drive there, just made up a story about not finding parking. In any case, both girls sound like low interest; it happens.

Yeah, that's what my female friend said, that possibly she din't got to the place. Thanks for saying it happens, kind of eases the pressure a little bit. I just need to keep learning and approaching

 

[ivlvs_veridivs]

How old is the girl with the dogs? and what's the deal with 3 dogs? are they all hers (which would be weird and a red flag) or it's a job for her to walk dogs?

Didn't ask for her age, but she seemed to be like 30 something, and apparently a single mom. She lived with her parents. The 3 dogs are all hers. Never thought about it as a red flag, although now that you mention it...

 

[Doctor Europeo]

Yeah, that's what my female friend said, that possibly she din't got to the place. Thanks for saying it happens, kind of eases the pressure a little bit.

Sure, we all been there. Sometimes 6s and 7s will flake. Sometimes 8s and 9s will have sex with you. Its part of the game.

Didn't ask for her age, but she seemed to be like 30 something, and apparently a single mom. She lived with her parents. The 3 dogs are all hers. Never thought about it as a red flag, although now that you mention it...

Unless you aré a single dad, I will recommend you stay away from single moms. You could make an exception if you meet a truly exceptional woman, but remember, exceptions make the rules.