"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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I've realized I need to feel "something"

Jaylan

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 8, 2011
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Hello fellow Djs and Djs in training.

I've realized I need to feel at least something for a girl before I can be attracted to her in a way that makes me want to have sex with.

This something doesnt need to be love, or extreme like, it can even be a feeling that says to me "hey this girls cool and would make a nice friend" or "shes mad chill and I can totally talk to her about things I like" Like I can completely friendzone a girl but still sleep with her if shes got something attractive about her personality.

But lets say the girl is super attractive, if our personalities dont click, or something about her turns me off, I have no urge to sleep with her at all. Which seems in total opposite to many of the guys here, and some of my friends. One of them whos said to me "dude sometimes I dont care and I just turn them around and get work in" even if the girls like a 5 =/

But, what started me thinking on this was a recent date of mine. Me and the girl get along ok, shes chill, and shes cute and attractive(7). However there was not a big personality click on my end, nothing that really grabbed me. Im thinking to myself "dude why do you have no urge to do anything with this girl? shes attractive you idiot" She was obviously into me, and she did not do anything bad, but then I started thinking back to all the women ive hooked up with recently.

They either had good girl-game themselves (mad confidence as well) or were total betchs to me and that clicked something with me as I was an Azshole right back. And this dynamic I loved with my ex. We even hated each other at first and then actually talked through a mutual friend later and realized we really dug one another

Which is why when me and my boys go out and they point out a hot chick I shrug it off as just another girl. Unless shes got something about her demeanor that jumps out at you. Ive never been able to just screw on looks alone which I think sets me apart from most of my gender.

I feel like I need to be impressed. I feel "why should I always be the one doing the impressing?" I think to myself "can any girl here tonight really make a something jump up inside me that says shes gonna bring some good times"

Whenever I have gotten into situations based solely on looks I lack a fire and passion within myself and get bored. And then I feel like I wasted my time.

What I wanna know is, any other dudes her like this?
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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sinnerman

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 30, 2011
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yea i feel the same way..if something doesnt click then i'm not that excited to spend time with her.
 
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