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I've made a stupid move today with my ex

Blacksheep

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It wasn’t causing me financial stress, it was just disrespectful how she went about it and how much of an ungreatful ***** she was. She got to where she treated me like a walking bank for 3 months. I went back through the texts and she got to where she was asking me every week! When it got to where she was asking 3 times a week I quit. Now, I didn’t always give her money all the times she asked, I said no plenty of times but that didn’t stop her. I could say no Monday and she’d ask again on Wednesday. I don’t mind filling up for car sometimes, I don’t mind helping you pay on your light bill, I don’t mind buying you groceries but when you won’t let me take you grocery shopping and demand the money, fvck you.
Thats very nonsense man... I don't know how a person could do that without feeling bad or guilty.

It seems like a perverse and evil behavior. We must stay far away from that kind of people.
 

Blacksheep

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Unfollow and move on. Do not overthink what happened at the bar.

Seek other women, many women so you don't get all worked up over this. Keep your emotions in check, we're not saying don't feel, just keep them in check and move on.


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Thanks bro! Yeah, I already deleted her on my Instagram and will not have her in any social media.

I'm working on those feelings, cause it's a bit hard... But I'm solving it internally. I'm a bit sad with that situation but I know it will pass.

When I remember the reasons I broke up, it's easy to keep my mind calm and not overthink. Sometimes we got lost in the good moments and we forgot about what didn't work.
 

Robert28

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Thats very nonsense man... I don't know how a person could do that without feeling bad or guilty.

It seems like a perverse and evil behavior. We must stay far away from that kind of people.
She had no conscience. She was lucky to have me willing to help her and she got greedy. She wanted more more more, it was never enough. So now she has nothing I’m guessing.
 

Barrister

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Yesterday I went out with a friend to a bar, when we arrived there, my ex was there with her friend. I just said hi with respect and I was polite to her. She said hi, smile at me and I went to my table.

Then when she was leaving, she came to my table to talk to me. She gave me a long hug and we talked about what we were doing with life. Then she gave me another hug and left.

The way she was looking at me and the way she hugged me, it felt like there was some feeling or she still liked me.

(I don't want to mean that I would enjoy it if she still likes me and was suffering from that. I believe that if we broke up... I really wish her to be happy with other person or whatever she was doing in life.)

So, this situation messed up with my feelings and I kept thinking about her all night. I followed her on Instagram and she followed me back.

So, today I sent her a message and invited her to go to the cinema with me. She thanked me and said she couldn't because she had an appointment. And she also said that it would be weird if we had a date. She seemed to be cold on that message.

I replied, "That's ok, no problem." and we don't talk anymore.

I felt bad about this situation and I was a little sad. I don't know if it was just a momentary need or some feeling that I still have for her.

Could it be that she was just polite at the bar and I misunderstood that, or can she have some feelings but she doesn't want to open up about it?

Anyway, it was better for that to happen because I don't know if it would work. I hope that feeling today will pass because I remembered several things and I'm a little sad.

Another question, I don't know if I should keep her on my Instagram or if I should remove her from there ... Usually I don't follow any exes on my Instagram. But the way the situation got weird, wouldn't it be weirder if I removed her after that?
Do not fall for this. @Robert28 was spot on earlier in this thread. You were fine to say "hi" to her -- but all she is doing by being friendly to you at the end is plant seeds in you that "maybe" she is interested so you start talking to her. She is only doing this for validation. Do not let her take hold in your mind.
 

Blacksheep

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Do not fall for this. @Robert28 was spot on earlier in this thread. You were fine to say "hi" to her -- but all she is doing by being friendly to you at the end is plant seeds in you that "maybe" she is interested so you start talking to her. She is only doing this for validation. Do not let her take hold in your mind.
Thats a good point man! Thanks!

I thought about that too... And idk. My friend told me that he saw her on Tinder for a long period. That could have helped with this validation idea.

She used to mess with my mind and feeling when we were dating, so it might be just a game to feel like now Im the one chasing her and now she is the one rejecting me.
 

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Barrister

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Thats a good point man! Thanks!

I thought about that too... And idk. My friend told me that he saw her on Tinder for a long period. That could have helped with this validation idea.

She used to mess with my mind and feeling when we were dating, so it might be just a game to feel like now Im the one chasing her and now she is the one rejecting me.
I get it brother. I am going through some **** with the ex right now too as you may be aware from the NC thread - and I can guarantee you that if she pulled this sh1t I would know it was only for validation. Women are all about validation and trying to mint their exes into "friends" is one of the main ways they get more validation.
 

Max Baker

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I get it brother. I am going through some **** with the ex right now too as you may be aware from the NC thread - and I can guarantee you that if she pulled this sh1t I would know it was only for validation. Women are all about validation and trying to mint their exes into "friends" is one of the main ways they get more validation.
Yep i second this bro. I bloody fell for it and all that happened was that i suffered for it. There is absolutely no benefit in being friends with an ex girlfriend.
 

Barrister

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Yep i second this bro. I bloody fell for it and all that happened was that i suffered for it. There is absolutely no benefit in being friends with an ex girlfriend.
The ONLY way you can be friends with an ex is if you are completely, 100% over them on any romantic level. Women tend to get over their exes much faster than we men do. So typically they will try to make you a "friend" before we are ready and this can set us way back. And by 100%, this means 100%. Not 99%. So we typically are talking at least a year plus if not more. I certainly won't be ready for that with the most recent ex for a long while.
 

Max Baker

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The ONLY way you can be friends with an ex is if you are completely, 100% over them on any romantic level. Women tend to get over their exes much faster than we men do. So typically they will try to make you a "friend" before we are ready and this can set us way back. And by 100%, this means 100%. Not 99%. So we typically are talking at least a year plus if not more. I certainly won't be ready for that with the most recent ex for a long while.
Yeah i understand but imo why even bother? There's always going to be the elephant in the room with exes. It's not easy to pretend to be friends with someone. Life is hard as it is.
 

Barrister

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Yeah i understand but imo why even bother? There's always going to be the elephant in the room with exes. It's not easy to pretend to be friends with someone. Life is hard as it is.
I don't think it generally is worth it. Because usually the woman just intends to make you another orbiter at that point. "Oh yeah, Barrister and I used to date but now we are the best of friends and he and I get coffee. I think he still wants to sleep with me but I never let him. lol!" Don;t even give them that satisfaction.

I can tell the ex I just broke up with is clearly not over me at this point as she refuses to even acknowledge me outside of an eyebrow raise when she sees me. And honestly, that is probably better than walking up and giving me a hug and trying to lead me on with "fu<k me" eyes and tell me how good it is to see me. That would be harder to deal with! lol
 

Max Baker

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I don't think it generally is worth it. Because usually the woman just intends to make you another orbiter at that point. "Oh yeah, Barrister and I used to date but now we are the best of friends and he and I get coffee. I think he still wants to sleep with me but I never let him. lol!" Don;t even give them that satisfaction.

I can tell the ex I just broke up with is clearly not over me at this point as she refuses to even acknowledge me outside of an eyebrow raise when she sees me. And honestly, that is probably better than walking up and giving me a hug and trying to lead me on with "fu<k me" eyes and tell me how good it is to see me. That would be harder to deal with! lol
Yep i hear you. Mine told me the best way to get back together was to be friends, then she started seeing someone else (quickly), and a few months later she told me "i miss you" and "its never too late for us". Friends don't say things like that and it was clear that my ex wasn't over me either. She told me herself she buried her feelings for me while jumping into a rebound. I had to walk away. The confusion on their end just serves to confuse the hell out of us.
 

Blacksheep

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I get it brother. I am going through some **** with the ex right now too as you may be aware from the NC thread - and I can guarantee you that if she pulled this sh1t I would know it was only for validation. Women are all about validation and trying to mint their exes into "friends" is one of the main ways they get more validation.
That's true man!

Luckily I'm not feeling bad about that anymore.

I took the time to think it over, and I understood that it was just a momentary thing. Remembering what made me break up with her, I know it was the best decision I could have made at the time.

And after all, judging by the facts, it seems that she never valued me. Since she was never concerned with the expenses we had on weekends and almost never helped.

Sometimes I feel like I was just a provider for her. Now that I don't have the things I had before, she lost interest. This because I remember she stopped chasing me at the point she found out I had quitted my job and I was moving out of my parent's house. Weird hum? No money + no status = nothing interest to offer.

At this point it comes to my mind that I need to give myself due respect.
 

Blacksheep

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Yep i hear you. Mine told me the best way to get back together was to be friends, then she started seeing someone else (quickly), and a few months later she told me "i miss you" and "its never too late for us". Friends don't say things like that and it was clear that my ex wasn't over me either. She told me herself she buried her feelings for me while jumping into a rebound. I had to walk away. The confusion on their end just serves to confuse the hell out of us.
And this explains why women that have a lot of male friends have a big chance to cheat on her boyfriend.

Based on the theory that women are more emotional than men... It makes sense. If you don't give her attention the time she required, she will complain about it... And then use it as an excuse to cheat on you.
 

speed dawg

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You went AFC on her, and confirmed her initial feelings when she dumped you.

Honestly, being cordial to her at the bar was a good move, shows you've moved on and she doesn't matter to you. You should not have contacted her after that.
 

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Blacksheep

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You went AFC on her, and confirmed her initial feelings when she dumped you.

Honestly, being cordial to her at the bar was a good move, shows you've moved on and she doesn't matter to you. You should not have contacted her after that.
Thats true man.

That was not a good idea to contacted her after that. Lesson learned!
 

Alvafe

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Thats true man.

That was not a good idea to contacted her after that. Lesson learned!
learn and understand next time you meet a ex Ignore, I did meet some exes in bars around here, one in 2 times in diferent places, good thing I was not alone lol, I ignored all of then it was like it was not even there

exes are not your problem, you are not "friends" with exes, if a ex is about to die you don't care anyway, she is not your problem
 

Focal core

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She sat on the sidewalk for over 2 hours waiting for me to go out and try to talk to me. I can't contain my tears when I remember this because I never wanted it to happen. In fact, at the time we met, I said we weren't supposed to get emotionally involved, because I wasn't prepared for a relationship. But it seems that saying this to a woman is like a magic formula for them to fall in love and go crazy behind you.

And when you decide to commit to a woman and express your feelings, they are repulsed by you.

Damn, that literally fck me up.
Dont fvck yourself up for that.

For this kind of woman, it's all about The Chase. A her sense of Self is predicated on her ability to manipulate your desire and emotions; when a seduction challenge comes to an end, so does her capacity to reinvigorate self-esteem--at least until the next elusive lover is found.

Dont confuse infactuation with love,

Infatuation is exhilarating, but fleeting. Real love is a rich, highly sustainable, consistent emotion. This when youre open up to them and she keep her distance from you, run far far away..
 

Blacksheep

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Dont fvck yourself up for that.

For this kind of woman, it's all about The Chase. A her sense of Self is predicated on her ability to manipulate your desire and emotions; when a seduction challenge comes to an end, so does her capacity to reinvigorate self-esteem--at least until the next elusive lover is found.

Dont confuse infactuation with love,

Infatuation is exhilarating, but fleeting. Real love is a rich, highly sustainable, consistent emotion. This when youre open up to them and she keep her distance from you, run far far away..
That's true man!

Thanks for your feedback!
 

soulforge

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Totally agree with this man.. When A female can come upto you in this manner & hug you like a friend or someone she kinda feels sorry for.. You know she has moved on.

It's actually a good sign if she ignores you or seems resentful or angry.. Means your still renting space inside her head.
 
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