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I've made a stupid move today with my ex

Blacksheep

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Yesterday I went out with a friend to a bar, when we arrived there, my ex was there with her friend. I just said hi with respect and I was polite to her. She said hi, smile at me and I went to my table.

Then when she was leaving, she came to my table to talk to me. She gave me a long hug and we talked about what we were doing with life. Then she gave me another hug and left.

The way she was looking at me and the way she hugged me, it felt like there was some feeling or she still liked me.

(I don't want to mean that I would enjoy it if she still likes me and was suffering from that. I believe that if we broke up... I really wish her to be happy with other person or whatever she was doing in life.)

So, this situation messed up with my feelings and I kept thinking about her all night. I followed her on Instagram and she followed me back.

So, today I sent her a message and invited her to go to the cinema with me. She thanked me and said she couldn't because she had an appointment. And she also said that it would be weird if we had a date. She seemed to be cold on that message.

I replied, "That's ok, no problem." and we don't talk anymore.

I felt bad about this situation and I was a little sad. I don't know if it was just a momentary need or some feeling that I still have for her.

Could it be that she was just polite at the bar and I misunderstood that, or can she have some feelings but she doesn't want to open up about it?

Anyway, it was better for that to happen because I don't know if it would work. I hope that feeling today will pass because I remembered several things and I'm a little sad.

Another question, I don't know if I should keep her on my Instagram or if I should remove her from there ... Usually I don't follow any exes on my Instagram. But the way the situation got weird, wouldn't it be weirder if I removed her after that?
 

Robert28

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Shouldn’t have said hi to her. In my experience when an ex is warm and friendly to you in person it means they are over you completely. If she’d been cold and walked out of the bar the moment you walked in then you know she was all torn up over seeing you. Why do you think women that talk bad about their exes end up going back to them? This is why! The fact that she gave you the long hug and came to talk to you is actually a bad sign.
 

Blacksheep

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Shouldn’t have said hi to her. In my experience when an ex is warm and friendly to you in person it means they are over you completely. If she’d been cold and walked out of the bar the moment you walked in then you know she was all torn up over seeing you. Why do you think women that talk bad about their exes end up going back to them? This is why! The fact that she gave you the long hug and came to talk to you is actually a bad sign.
That makes sense!

What would be that bad sign? Just that she is over me completely or it is another thing?
 

Max Baker

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Shouldn’t have said hi to her. In my experience when an ex is warm and friendly to you in person it means they are over you completely. If she’d been cold and walked out of the bar the moment you walked in then you know she was all torn up over seeing you. Why do you think women that talk bad about their exes end up going back to them? This is why! The fact that she gave you the long hug and came to talk to you is actually a bad sign.
Thankyou you helped me out immensely! My ex was cold, couldn't look me in the eye and had a lot of hurt in her eyes when she did look up. Also explains why she never mentioned to catch up but always agreed when i mentioned it. Thanks for confirming my thoughts.
 

Robert28

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That makes sense!

What would be that bad sign? Just that she is over me completely or it is another thing?
She’s at peace with the end of the relationship and her emotions aren’t all over the place. Seeing you should have sent her emotions into a tizzy but instead it was the opposite, hence the long hug and coming over to talk.
 

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bat soup

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Yesterday I went out with a friend to a bar, when we arrived there, my ex was there with her friend. I just said hi with respect and I was polite to her. She said hi, smile at me and I went to my table.

Then when she was leaving, she came to my table to talk to me. She gave me a long hug and we talked about what we were doing with life. Then she gave me another hug and left.

The way she was looking at me and the way she hugged me, it felt like there was some feeling or she still liked me.

(I don't want to mean that I would enjoy it if she still likes me and was suffering from that. I believe that if we broke up... I really wish her to be happy with other person or whatever she was doing in life.)

So, this situation messed up with my feelings and I kept thinking about her all night. I followed her on Instagram and she followed me back.

So, today I sent her a message and invited her to go to the cinema with me. She thanked me and said she couldn't because she had an appointment. And she also said that it would be weird if we had a date. She seemed to be cold on that message.

I replied, "That's ok, no problem." and we don't talk anymore.

I felt bad about this situation and I was a little sad. I don't know if it was just a momentary need or some feeling that I still have for her.

Could it be that she was just polite at the bar and I misunderstood that, or can she have some feelings but she doesn't want to open up about it?

Anyway, it was better for that to happen because I don't know if it would work. I hope that feeling today will pass because I remembered several things and I'm a little sad.

Another question, I don't know if I should keep her on my Instagram or if I should remove her from there ... Usually I don't follow any exes on my Instagram. But the way the situation got weird, wouldn't it be weirder if I removed her after that?
I'd advise you to delete her from Instagram and move on with your life. She probably just hugged you because she has fond memories.

Generally a hug is like the kiss of death.
 

Blacksheep

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She’s at peace with the end of the relationship and her emotions aren’t all over the place. Seeing you should have sent her emotions into a tizzy but instead it was the opposite, hence the long hug and coming over to talk.
That's true.

What led to the end I believe it was because I always paid for expenses on weekends and every time I tried to explain it to her, she took it personally and cried. She said she was unemployed and had no way to help.

Then, at the same time, she bought an expensive dress to go to a wedding and I was very upset about it. She couldn't help with 1 cent, but she was able to buy an expensive dress.

And look, I wasn't asking her to split all the bills we spent together. I just asked her to recognize and show that she cared too. Even if she gave 1 cent on the weekend ... It would already show that she cared. And I already went out with women who demonstrated that, but I didn't feel it from her.

What hurts me the most, it was at the time that we were dating without commitment, she went to the door of my house looking for me and I was with other women there (so I said to her that she should leave and we talk later). Even though I made it clear to her that I didn't want to date, man, I felt like the worst person in this world on this day.

She sat on the sidewalk for over 2 hours waiting for me to go out and try to talk to me. I can't contain my tears when I remember this because I never wanted it to happen. In fact, at the time we met, I said we weren't supposed to get emotionally involved, because I wasn't prepared for a relationship. But it seems that saying this to a woman is like a magic formula for them to fall in love and go crazy behind you.

And when you decide to commit to a woman and express your feelings, they are repulsed by you.

Damn, that literally fck me up.
 

Blacksheep

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I’d have to agree with the others. She’s over you. Move on dude she’s an ex
For a reason
That's the best to do, won't be healthy for both if we started to date again.
 

Blacksheep

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I'd advise you to delete her from Instagram and move on with your life. She probably just hugged you because she has fond memories.

Generally a hug is like the kiss of death.
Just did that today.

And about that hug, I can't believe more... I was on a very great energy those days, and this put me really down. Started to think about a lot of things and feeling guilty... That sucks.
 

bat soup

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Just did that today.

And about that hug, I can't believe more... I was on a very great energy those days, and this put me really down. Started to think about a lot of things and feeling guilty... That sucks.
You shouldn't give it so much importance. You gave it a try, which was the right thing to do, but that's all you can do.
 

Robert28

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That's true.

What led to the end I believe it was because I always paid for expenses on weekends and every time I tried to explain it to her, she took it personally and cried. She said she was unemployed and had no way to help.

Then, at the same time, she bought an expensive dress to go to a wedding and I was very upset about it. She couldn't help with 1 cent, but she was able to buy an expensive dress.

And look, I wasn't asking her to split all the bills we spent together. I just asked her to recognize and show that she cared too. Even if she gave 1 cent on the weekend ... It would already show that she cared. And I already went out with women who demonstrated that, but I didn't feel it from her.

What hurts me the most, it was at the time that we were dating without commitment, she went to the door of my house looking for me and I was with other women there (so I said to her that she should leave and we talk later). Even though I made it clear to her that I didn't want to date, man, I felt like the worst person in this world on this day.

She sat on the sidewalk for over 2 hours waiting for me to go out and try to talk to me. I can't contain my tears when I remember this because I never wanted it to happen. In fact, at the time we met, I said we weren't supposed to get emotionally involved, because I wasn't prepared for a relationship. But it seems that saying this to a woman is like a magic formula for them to fall in love and go crazy behind you.

And when you decide to commit to a woman and express your feelings, they are repulsed by you.

Damn, that literally fck me up.
I had a similar experience to you. I was the one paying ALL the time PLUS helping her out with money because she wasn’t making much at her job. Problem is she got to where she was asking me for money every week, before I ended it she’d asked me 3 times in one week. She will never find a guy to help her the amount that I did. Simps out there maybe but a stable man in a relationship, she won’t find that because she’s too old now.
 

bat soup

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I had a similar experience to you. I was the one paying ALL the time PLUS helping her out with money because she wasn’t making much at her job. Problem is she got to where she was asking me for money every week, before I ended it she’d asked me 3 times in one week. She will never find a guy to help her the amount that I did. Simps out there maybe but a stable man in a relationship, she won’t find that because she’s too old now.
Women that are on the take have subtle ways of testing your suitability as a sponsor or just a sucker that will give them money. They start small, for example by "forgetting" to bring enough money for something they want whilst out on a date.

Don't fall for it and let them get used to paying for themselves.
 

RickTheToad

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Yesterday I went out with a friend to a bar, when we arrived there, my ex was there with her friend. I just said hi with respect and I was polite to her. She said hi, smile at me and I went to my table.

Then when she was leaving, she came to my table to talk to me. She gave me a long hug and we talked about what we were doing with life. Then she gave me another hug and left.

The way she was looking at me and the way she hugged me, it felt like there was some feeling or she still liked me.

(I don't want to mean that I would enjoy it if she still likes me and was suffering from that. I believe that if we broke up... I really wish her to be happy with other person or whatever she was doing in life.)

So, this situation messed up with my feelings and I kept thinking about her all night. I followed her on Instagram and she followed me back.

So, today I sent her a message and invited her to go to the cinema with me. She thanked me and said she couldn't because she had an appointment. And she also said that it would be weird if we had a date. She seemed to be cold on that message.

I replied, "That's ok, no problem." and we don't talk anymore.

I felt bad about this situation and I was a little sad. I don't know if it was just a momentary need or some feeling that I still have for her.

Could it be that she was just polite at the bar and I misunderstood that, or can she have some feelings but she doesn't want to open up about it?

Anyway, it was better for that to happen because I don't know if it would work. I hope that feeling today will pass because I remembered several things and I'm a little sad.

Another question, I don't know if I should keep her on my Instagram or if I should remove her from there ... Usually I don't follow any exes on my Instagram. But the way the situation got weird, wouldn't it be weirder if I removed her after that?
Never think it's a good idea to bring the trash back into the home once you throw it out.
 

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Blacksheep

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I had a similar experience to you. I was the one paying ALL the time PLUS helping her out with money because she wasn’t making much at her job. Problem is she got to where she was asking me for money every week, before I ended it she’d asked me 3 times in one week. She will never find a guy to help her the amount that I did. Simps out there maybe but a stable man in a relationship, she won’t find that because she’s too old now.
These situations are very stressful. I'm glad you got out of it in time to avoid further damage.

I remember helping her to set up a makeup business for her, and I even bought some things to help with her work. Not that she never gave me anything, because she also gave me gifts on holidays.

But in the end, however exhausting it may be, it serves as a learning experience to avoid falling into the same situations in the future.
 

Blacksheep

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Women that are on the take have subtle ways of testing your suitability as a sponsor or just a sucker that will give them money. They start small, for example by "forgetting" to bring enough money for something they want whilst out on a date.

Don't fall for it and let them get used to paying for themselves.
The funny ones are when they don't even ask if you need help, but when you say that you don't wanna see her on a specific day or weekend, they get mad at you. And when you go and see her, she suggests doing a lot of nice stuff or eating tasteful foods... But the guy pays for it.

Any person who has a minimum sense of respect wouldn't do it. That's why I can't trust someone who pretends to be silly in such an obvious situation like that.
 

Robert28

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These situations are very stressful. I'm glad you got out of it in time to avoid further damage.

I remember helping her to set up a makeup business for her, and I even bought some things to help with her work. Not that she never gave me anything, because she also gave me gifts on holidays.

But in the end, however exhausting it may be, it serves as a learning experience to avoid falling into the same situations in the future.
It wasn’t causing me financial stress, it was just disrespectful how she went about it and how much of an ungreatful ***** she was. She got to where she treated me like a walking bank for 3 months. I went back through the texts and she got to where she was asking me every week! When it got to where she was asking 3 times a week I quit. Now, I didn’t always give her money all the times she asked, I said no plenty of times but that didn’t stop her. I could say no Monday and she’d ask again on Wednesday. I don’t mind filling up for car sometimes, I don’t mind helping you pay on your light bill, I don’t mind buying you groceries but when you won’t let me take you grocery shopping and demand the money, fvck you.
 
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Yesterday I went out with a friend to a bar, when we arrived there, my ex was there with her friend. I just said hi with respect and I was polite to her. She said hi, smile at me and I went to my table.

Then when she was leaving, she came to my table to talk to me. She gave me a long hug and we talked about what we were doing with life. Then she gave me another hug and left.

The way she was looking at me and the way she hugged me, it felt like there was some feeling or she still liked me.

(I don't want to mean that I would enjoy it if she still likes me and was suffering from that. I believe that if we broke up... I really wish her to be happy with other person or whatever she was doing in life.)

So, this situation messed up with my feelings and I kept thinking about her all night. I followed her on Instagram and she followed me back.

So, today I sent her a message and invited her to go to the cinema with me. She thanked me and said she couldn't because she had an appointment. And she also said that it would be weird if we had a date. She seemed to be cold on that message.

I replied, "That's ok, no problem." and we don't talk anymore.

I felt bad about this situation and I was a little sad. I don't know if it was just a momentary need or some feeling that I still have for her.

Could it be that she was just polite at the bar and I misunderstood that, or can she have some feelings but she doesn't want to open up about it?

Anyway, it was better for that to happen because I don't know if it would work. I hope that feeling today will pass because I remembered several things and I'm a little sad.

Another question, I don't know if I should keep her on my Instagram or if I should remove her from there ... Usually I don't follow any exes on my Instagram. But the way the situation got weird, wouldn't it be weirder if I removed her after that?
Unfollow and move on. Do not overthink what happened at the bar.

Seek other women, many women so you don't get all worked up over this. Keep your emotions in check, we're not saying don't feel, just keep them in check and move on.


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