Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

It's so simple=The eyes have it

oc16

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I know I have posted about this before, but I want to hammer it home again.

For the purpose of this; I am talking about women who you haven't really had any conversation or rapport with yet. The initial stages of attraction.

These are women you might see at the gym, on campus, at the bar or local coffee shop.

I will give you three recent examples from my own life. I just turned 47 and I consider myself a reasonably attractive man (7 to 7.5)

#1.) Scenario: Barista at Starbucks--Probably mid 30's (about a 6.5) --
Outcome: Always seems to lock eyes with me for a long second when she hands me my drink.
Verdict: Regardless of what her relationship status is, she finds me physically attractive.

#2.) Scenario: Female I see at the gym about 4x every morning---Late 30's to early 40's. A solid 7.5---nice face, average body.
Outcome: Avoids all eye contact when I walk by her or working out near her. Her body language even seems to face away from me as well.
Verdict: It is safe to say this woman does not find me physically attractive and/or is married and is consciously avoiding eye contact so I don't get the wrong idea.

#3.) Scenario: Female bartender I see about 1x a month (including tonight) --Mid 20's to late 20's. A solid 8 (sexy petite black-haired Italian/Greek looking)
Outcome: She is always professional but when she hands me my beer and/or change she doesn't even look at me.
Verdict: She either doesn't find me attractive, thinks I am too old and/or is happily involved with somebody.

It's really that simple folks.

That hot woman you see at the gym 4X a week who doesn't seem to know you exist even when you are in her vicinity is NOT interested in you (either due to lack of physical attraction and/or relationship status)

She is NOT playing hard to get, stop fooling yourself!

The cute Starbucks barista who always seems to lock eyes with you when she hands you your coffee at the very least finds you physically attractive. Try to make small talk with her and escalate.

Don't waste your time/focus on women who don't seem interested in you.

I noticed it's also at this stage the dreaded oneitis can also take hold. A woman you have barely or never spoken to and you think you might have a shot with her. All of this despite her never looking at you.
 
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Desdinova

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Don't waste your time/focus on women who don't seem interested in you.
I think in each of your scenarios, it's much too early to tell if she's interested in you or not. If you're basing it on physical appearance alone, then this makes sense. My goal is usually to just turn my personality up full blast and see what happens. If she's still not giving me any IOIs, then she should be written off. Some women just need a little nudge to get their interest flowing.
 

Pierce Manhammer

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#1.) Scenario: Barista at Starbucks--Probably mid 30's (about a 6.5) --
Outcome: Always seems to lock eyes with me for a long second when she hands me my drink.
Verdict: She knows you tip well because you think she’s hot for you.
There fixed it for ya.
 

Dr.Suave

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Pierce Manhammer

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Ah, wrong. I don't give tips at Starbucks
She’s trying to get one…haha

studmuffin

or maybe she’s just a genuinely happy person, you didn’t bother to mention if she does this with every customer or not…

People in service roles are paid to be nice to customers…

But I’m sure she’s just reacting to your overwhelming masculine 47yo energy bro.
 

oc16

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She’s trying to get one…haha

studmuffin

or maybe she’s just a genuinely happy person, you didn’t bother to mention if she does this with every customer or not…

People in service roles are paid to be nice to customers…

But I’m sure she’s just reacting to your overwhelming masculine 47yo energy bro.
Okay bro
 

Michael Chief

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It's better to assess a woman's interest in you by actually approaching and talking to her.

It could be possible, as others in this thread have suggested, that she seemed to show interest with her eyes for different reasons. It could be possible that some women are shy and won't make or hold any eye contact even if they're attracted to you. Whatever the case is, don't let any excuse stop you from approaching.
 

FlexpertHamilton

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You didn't bang any of them, so you should not be drawing any conclusions from this
Well sure but he's talking about IOIs/choosing signals, that has nothing to do with whether you can/will capitalize on it or not.

Eye contact is generally a strong indicator of interest. No women will make strong eye contact with a man they don't find attractive...and very few women with attraction will avoid eye contact, even if they're in a relationship they'll probably still do it, i've seen them do it when they're literally mid hug with another guy.
 

oc16

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Well sure but he's talking about IOIs/choosing signals, that has nothing to do with whether you can/will capitalize on it or not.

Eye contact is generally a strong indicator of interest. No women will make strong eye contact with a man they don't find attractive...and very few women with attraction will avoid eye contact, even if they're in a relationship they'll probably still do it, i've seen them do it when they're literally mid hug with another guy.
Precisely! Thank You
 

Velasco

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No women will make strong eye contact with a man they don't find attractive.
Women will also make strong eye contact with men they have no intention of sleeping with. Like the coffee girl in his example. Therefore it's not an indicator of anything.
very few women with attraction will avoid eye contact
Also disagree with this. A lot of times girls that are very attracted to you will not want you to catch them checking you out/will get nervous if you do catch them checking you out. Their friends know tho
 

ManlyMan

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Women that are attracted to you will make eye contact. It has been suggested by various men all over the internet in the past.

It has always been suggested to assume attraction as well. That is a good trait to have in seduction.

In any case always approach a woman showing IOI's.
 
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Manure Spherian

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I know I have posted about this before, but I want to hammer it home again.

For the purpose of this; I am talking about women who you haven't really had any conversation or rapport with yet. The initial stages of attraction.

These are women you might see at the gym, on campus, at the bar or local coffee shop.

I will give you three recent examples from my own life. I just turned 47 and I consider myself a reasonably attractive man (7 to 7.5)

#1.) Scenario: Barista at Starbucks--Probably mid 30's (about a 6.5) --
Outcome: Always seems to lock eyes with me for a long second when she hands me my drink.
Verdict: Regardless of what her relationship status is, she finds me physically attractive.

#2.) Scenario: Female I see at the gym about 4x every morning---Late 30's to early 40's. A solid 7.5---nice face, average body.
Outcome: Avoids all eye contact when I walk by her or working out near her. Her body language even seems to face away from me as well.
Verdict: It is safe to say this woman does not find me physically attractive and/or is married and is consciously avoiding eye contact so I don't get the wrong idea.

#3.) Scenario: Female bartender I see about 1x a month (including tonight) --Mid 20's to late 20's. A solid 8 (sexy petite black-haired Italian/Greek looking)
Outcome: She is always professional but when she hands me my beer and/or change she doesn't even look at me.
Verdict: She either doesn't find me attractive, thinks I am too old and/or is happily involved with somebody.

It's really that simple folks.

That hot woman you see at the gym 4X a week who doesn't seem to know you exist even when you are in her vicinity is NOT interested in you (either due to lack of physical attraction and/or relationship status)

She is NOT playing hard to get, stop fooling yourself!

The cute Starbucks barista who always seems to lock eyes with you when she hands you your coffee at the very least finds you physically attractive. Try to make small talk with her and escalate.

Don't waste your time/focus on women who don't seem interested in you.

I noticed it's also at this stage the dreaded oneitis can also take hold. A woman you have barely or never spoken to and you think you might have a shot with her. All of this despite her never looking at you.
Good post. Hence why I think cold approaching with no IOI is goofy as all hell.
 

SW15

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#1.) Scenario: Barista at Starbucks--Probably mid 30's (about a 6.5) --
Outcome: Always seems to lock eyes with me for a long second when she hands me my drink.
Verdict: Regardless of what her relationship status is, she finds me physically attractive.


#3.) Scenario: Female bartender I see about 1x a month (including tonight) --Mid 20's to late 20's. A solid 8 (sexy petite black-haired Italian/Greek looking)
Outcome: She is always professional but when she hands me my beer and/or change she doesn't even look at me.
Verdict: She either doesn't find me attractive, thinks I am too old and/or is happily involved with somebody.
Read the thread below. Neither of the women are romantically interested in you. You need to meet women who work with the general public during their leisure time to get a good idea of their interest level. When I go to places like Hooters or Twin Peaks, I don't expect to find dates there.

 

BillyPilgrim

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It's not just the eyes though, you want to pay attention to her entire persona in that moment - her vibe, posture, facial expression outside of the eyes. It all needs to be congruent There are women out there who express themselves *only* with their eyes, you want to be wary of them. If the eyes are burning with passion but the rest of her is reserved, no bueno. This will indicate an interested but inhibited woman.
 
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Rainrain

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if you work for a corporation, have you ever talked to a sales rep? They literally lock their eyes on you the whole time they speak to you.

I don’t think them looking at you in your eyes is a sign of attraction.
 

The Duke

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@oc16 go back to Starbucks, ask for her number. Report back here to see if your theory based on a single girl holds by water.
 

Bokanovsky

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I don't know if it's always so black and white. Some women avoid eye contact because they are shy/insecure/fixated on their instagram/etc.
 

FlexpertHamilton

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Women will also make strong eye contact with men they have no intention of sleeping with.
How do we know that? I don't believe that at all. Do you think women ever hold eye contact with homeless man or a balding fat man in his 50s? Or a 5'3 Indian dork who works at Walmart? You do know that women view most men as nonentities, they don't even exist in their mind as potential mates let alone human beings. Why would they ever hold strong eye contact with a man they weren't at least vaguely interested/intruiged by?

Also disagree with this. A lot of times girls that are very attracted to you will not want you to catch them checking you out/will get nervous if you do catch them checking you out. Their friends know tho
Maybe, it probably depends on the context, i'm sure many woman try to conceal their interest in a man but I can't imagine it's more common for them to hide it than to show it in the right context. When a man is interacting with a female in a business/commercial context, it forces an interaction, so they probably aren't able to hide it as well as they would in a normal social setting. It's usually pretty obvious if they like you, and I'm not even talking about tip-based employees where their insincerity is obvious. I have experienced it with bank tellers and cashiers who have zero incentive to manipulate you by feigning interest. And yes, maybe they're just feeling particularly happy and gregarious at that moment... but this comes into the discussion of "did she like me, or is she just being friendly?" Your gut will tell you the difference.

I don't know if it's always so black and white. Some women avoid eye contact because they are shy/insecure/fixated on their instagram/etc.
There is nuance to the nuance. We're talking about generalizations which is a part of a grander observation which is literally "strong eye contact is an IOI" - I don't know why anyone would disagree with this.
 
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