"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Italo's testicles work!

italostud

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Haven't been here for a while, but thought I'd drop by and let you guys know about some craziness that's happened to me.

Anyways, this girl I've been seeing goes on birth control(IUD to be exact). She got it put in a couple of months ago. Just to be on the safe side, I always pulled out and never came in her, just because I'm safe like that.

Anyways, she started getting stomach pains a few days ago and went to the doctor. They told her the IUD became slightly dislodged(undoubtedly due to my large penis) and that was probably what's causing her pain. I decided to get her a pregnancy test anyways. To our shock, it came out positive. She went to the doc this morning, and sure enough, she's pregnant. Do not ask me how the fyck that happened.

So now I get to pull my hair out until she gets the abortion sometime next week.

Just goes to show you guys you can never be too safe when it comes to this shyt. I'll keep you guys updated.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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ethnomethodologist

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You should get a jar, with the little baby inside of it, maybe you can raise a test tube baby. Don't have to worry about supporting the girl at the same time... and since it's not really legal to grow the baby since it's under the three month term for abortions, if you raise it you can kill it at any time...

Have fun, if you really are that sadistic.

Sucks about the baby though, hope you don't lose her, and see her 8 months from now with a bouncy baby boy(or girl) in her arms.
 

italostud

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Grow the fetus like a chia pet or something! Awesome idea.

"Hey guys, check out my fetus-in-a-jar!" *everyone barfs* "Cool huh?" haha
 

Unregistered

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Don't feel bad about getting the abortion-your baby probably would have been retarded anyway. :D
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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italostud

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Originally posted by Unregistered
Don't feel bad about getting the abortion-your baby probably would have been retarded anyway. :D
I knew there was a silver lining somewhere!
 

cactus3178

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Damn, bro!

That is just bizarre. Might think about looking into the Depo shot or maybe the pill. I guess I've always been lucky, whew.
 

italostud

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Originally posted by gongxia649
u dont need abortion ...there are some pills that does the job
RU-486 is only until 7 weeks I think. She's having the ultrasound done in 2 days, then she'll know how pregnant she is.
 

ethnomethodologist

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Originally posted by italostud
I knew there was a silver lining somewhere!
That would be sweet, I mean that would be awesome. I wish I was born in a stomach with silver lining.

I think it's really red though, or blue, whatever colour you think it is when you can't see it, it might be yellow for all I know when I can't see it.
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

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KontrollerX

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Ugh I hope she doesn't try to screw you over and keep it at the last second.

Also are you absolutely sure its yours as in through a paternity test?
 

italostud

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Originally posted by KontrollerX
Ugh I hope she doesn't try to screw you over and keep it at the last second.

Also are you absolutely sure its yours as in through a paternity test?
I highly doubt she'd try the last second thing, but I'm not leaving anything up to chance.

And, no I'm not 100% sure it's mine. Any male would be an idiot to think he can be certain. However, how would i get a paternity test when it's still inside her? And furthermore, I honestly don't care, I just want it dead.
 
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