It was so close, I could taste it.

[ikkenai]

It seemed great. Kino on the weekend. Rapport during drinks. Seeing me pick up, and be picked up by, other chicks at the bar. Her calling to me as I walked away (testing to see what she'd do when I knew she saw me leaving).

We studied for an hour for a test we have on saturday. Conversation worked great, and about an hour in, I decided to make a move - something simple.

"Give me your hand, I want to check something."
"Okay"
Held her hand.
"So what did you want to check?" she asks.
"That."

She pulls away her hand.

Dammit. The AFC in me wants to analyze the situation, but these days that one gesture told me all I needed to know. The subject changed back to studying and stuff, but it wasn't awkward. We parted ways after another 15-20mins of studying.

I've been LJBF'd in the past. But this time is different...

- No guilt or self-pity. I did my best to gauge her interest level, and "struck while the iron was hot."
- I'm not lame. My tactics are just in need of revision. I'm strong on the fearless bar pickup - it's getting past that point, building interest level while one-on-one that needs development.
- At the same time, I'm not analyzing and analyzing again what I didn't do right. What did it mean by her pulling away her hand? Should I have asked her then? Should I call her? What I wish I had said, wish I hadn't... it's irrelevant. That's AFC, woe-is-me garbage - lamenting over what could have been. Move on.

There's one last thing important thing that I've been reminded of by this experience, and I don't feel that it has been said enough on this forum.

It's okay to have ambitions for a girl, or to hope for the best. It's NOT okay to envision yourself in a relationship that doesn't exist. Last night I saw myself kissing in the hallway, her resting her head on my shoulder in the lounge, holding hands, between the sheets - "Illusions, Mr. Anderson, vagueries of perception" as Agent Smith would say. Until you're actually doing those things, the only relationship you have is in your own mind. Live in reality, or else you're setting yourself for a fall, where a simple LJBF for her is a painful LTF breakup for you. When you do this, you are the cause of your own pain.

I hope I've contributed something worthwhile. Thanks to everyone on this forum who has shared their knowledge before me.

 

[Hollowpoint]

Sounded like you almost got some oneitis there.

"Give me your hand, I want to check something."
"Okay"
Held her hand.
"So what did you want to check?" she asks.
"That."

What was your point anyways?
Didn't sound like the iron was very hot.

 

[ikkenai]

The point was to see if she'd respond to the kino. Weak, I guess, but I was impatient.

 

[DJDamage]

yeah, the best thing to do is not to over analyze it. Don't focus on one girl and keep doing what you were normally do by picking up others.

On a side note: Studying with a chick will usually lead to LJBF, Ive been there and it does hurt. Even when you are not a friends with her and you are just a classmate, she will turn you into a "FRIEND".

I hear people always say: I am not her friend, she is my classmate so I will try to go "get together and study route" and from there I will try to C&F and kino her and see what happens. This is just as fatal as trying to be her friend. DON"T DO IT. YOU WANT A DATE, ASK FOR IT AND BE CLEAR ABOUT IT BECAUSE THE LONGER YOU WAIT THE LONGER YOU ARE GOING TO MISS YOUR CHANCE.

 

[Luveno]

close....

....but no cigar...for her.

Next!

 

[ikkenai]

I figured as much. That's what I was trying to do, use it as an opportunity to go C+F. Sigh. I have a really hard time judging the difference between "strike before it's too late" and "don't jump the gun." It's a tough balance to strike for me, but I guess I'm learnin'.

 

[UltraMan]

Originally posted by ikkenai
It's okay to have ambitions for a girl, or to hope for the best. It's NOT okay to envision yourself in a relationship that doesn't exist. Last night I saw myself kissing in the hallway, her resting her head on my shoulder in the lounge, holding hands, between the sheets - "Illusions, Mr. Anderson, vagueries of perception" as Agent Smith would say. Until you're actually doing those things, the only relationship you have is in your own mind. Live in reality, or else you're setting yourself for a fall, where a simple LJBF for her is a painful LTF breakup for you. When you do this, you are the cause of your own pain.

Nicely said.