It Finally Sunk in....Marriage

[Lilkoolaid]

So why is Rollo married?

Bro, I wish I knew! I hope to ask him, or read about his reasonings.

 

[Lilkoolaid]

The problem is not getting married. The problem is marrying the wrong woman or a woman who doesn't really love you and is only with you to have a provider.
I know many successful marriages.

Why is not getting married a problem? We often talk about the successful marriages, but what of the risks involved? Are those risks and sacrifices properly assessed, and are they appreciated by the opposite party? Not even considering love as part of the logical equation atm because either the modern man doesn't know the true risks involved, or he is emotionally driven to sign up regardless.

 

[Lilkoolaid]

My ex-wife and I got married to have kids, and we did that. If we met today, I don't know if we would get married. She has always made more money and she already had a previous marriage, so the incentive for marriage was never strong for her. I can't say that it was ever strong for me either.

As for getting married again, I can't see it happening. I've been divorced for 12 years and my Dad (almost 84) is still single after his divorce.

My mom is still single after her divorce too, although she is about 25 years younger. Older, more experienced folk like yourself are the main reasons for my stance. The emotional fire that newlyweds always speak of tends to burn out. You can't tell what life will do to other people, and how it'll end up affecting you...

 

[AbleDad]

There in lies the problem. She was of higher value than you were. Ladies marry up, not down, usually. How old were both of you when you signed the contract?

We got married when I was 33 and she's 8-months older. She's a very successful attorney making 500k/year in a Fortune 10 company. I make 6-figures, but not 500k. We're both tall, attractive, smart, and socially adept. We had a good run (about 10 years) and we have two kids that have won the genetic lottery.

From her perspective, the Wall was imposing and she intimidates most guys. I was the right guy, with the right attitude, at the right time.

Given the choice, I would have kids with her again. I just don't know if we would do a formal marriage in today's climate.

 

[RickTheToad]

We got married when I was 33 and she's 8-months older. She's a very successful attorney making 500k/year in a Fortune 10 company. I make 6-figures, but not 500k. We're both tall, attractive, smart, and socially adept. We had a good run (about 10 years) and we have two kids that have won the genetic lottery.

From her perspective, the Wall was imposing and she intimidates most guys. I was the right guy, with the right attitude, at the right time.

Given the choice, I would have kids with her again. I just don't know if we would do a formal marriage in today's climate.

Yes, the wall was coming and she settled and got married. Had the kids, got divorced. Now it's time for her to have some fun. Don't take it personally (no disrespected intended), it happens to most modern dudes. A good run in marriage is for life, not 10 years. 10 years in some states equates to lifetime allimony. Dude, with ladies everything, and I mean everything, is planned with them and their hive friends. The only way a dude can protect himself is to be one step ahead in every aspect of the relationship. You have a lot to read and learn before your next one.

 

[zekko]

Marriage doesn’t benefit women either. It benefits families. Nothing else.

If it's a good marriage, I think there are definite benefits for both the male and the female. Unfortunately, people don't seem to appreciate those benefits. I would say women don't appreciate them - women have complained for ages about the housewife role - but guys here will outright deny there are any benefits for men at all. So both genders are unappreciative.

Which is not to say I think marriage is a good idea these days, because I don't. That's unfortunate, though.

We had a good run (about 10 years) and we have two kids that have won the genetic lottery.

Won the genetic lottery, lol. I guess you two owed it to the species to get together and have some children.
Seriously though, I'm messing with you, I'm glad your children are healthy and gifted.

 

[Hal9000]

It does from a psychological perspective - they've achieved security, and have successfully bound their mate in a legally binding contract..which as a result lowers competition anxiety. The list goes on.

And their eating can begin.

 

[Lilkoolaid]

And their eating can begin.

Not wrong. Both parties slack on their physical health because of that long sought after "security". A lack of competition anxiety will do that to you. It's mostly complained about by men because we are physical creatures - women typically care less.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Is rationally speaking, NOT a good decision for men. I'm nearing the end of The Rational Male and it finally sunk in that marriage truly only benefits women from a psychological, societal, and even legal standpoint. It's disturbing how men, including myself wanted to get married without realizing the gravity of what I'd be signing up for....what I'd be signing away in the process. I used to think with my **** regarding marriage but after learning about competition anxiety, comparing it to my own experiences....**** man. What the **** was I thinking!?

YouTube rsd Tyler. Search beta male shame. The book power vs force by D R Hawking quantified shame at 20/1000. Shocker, women use shame to keep men in order while women are out going nuts and having bastard children from diff men + a series of abortions.

The blue pill is the piss poor attempt to mitigate cratered SMV and redistribution to of responsibility for women's poor choices. The onus is on. Man to keep order yet women are disgusting in their lives.

Why Women File 80 Percent of Divorces

According to the National Center for Health Statistics, about 50 percent of marriages in the United States end in divorce, and about 80 percent of the divorces are initiated by women. That 50 percent is often quoted and it is probably on the high side, but it is illuminating that 80 percent of the divorces are filed by the wife.

Marriage is cucked. Allocate current and future earnings plus sexual access is gay. What sort of man marries in the current dating era? It reeks of desperation.

Op, its great to read TRM. It is superb read but don't make a deity out of rollo. He has a SMV graph. He is red pill aware, knows top form SMV, and what the epiphany phase. He still married epiphany phase in a work environment known for cuck. He is domain dependent for pickup. Outside the band, he wasn't running game.

He still says to do as he said and not as he does. He is a OG. I would much prefer guys who are still getting baaaaae.

 

[SoSuave666]

i just am not convinced. i enjoy men for who they are and what they offer. the yang to my yin. but i don’t ever think of them as cash cows and gettig married to “lock one in” seems illogical and maybe cynical. getting married doesn’t lower compete anxiety either. the “men always cheat” image is always there. although women cheat more than men.

Answer truthfully.

 

[SeekerOfTheWay]

Answer truthfully.

Nothing in life is free. You pay one way or another. In my divorce we both parted with what was ours. i do enjoy some men with money, but it’s not about the money as i do okay for myself. Getting annoyed at women because we like men with status is like females trying to shame men for preferring younger and fitter women.

 

[zekko]

Getting annoyed at women because we like men with status like females trying to shame men for preferring younger and fitter women.

Nothing wrong with a woman being attracted to a successful man. That's as it should be.

As long as it's that, and not gold digging or beta bucking.

 

[SoSuave666]

Nothing in life is free. You pay one way or another. In my divorce we both parted with what was ours. i do enjoy some men with money, but it’s not about the money as i do okay for myself. Getting annoyed at women because we like men with status like females trying to shame men for preferring younger and fitter women.

Bad girl

 

[redskinsfan92]

So why is Rollo married?


You don't need to have the intent to "lock one in", the law does that for you.

Although these days, I'm seeing more and more relationships where women are the breadwinner, and the men are little more than sponges.
Man or woman, I guess it's kind of like having a pet around, helps keep you from getting lonely.

Anyone who has read enough of Rollo's content knows why he is married and that he would not get married again. He got married in the 90s before becoming redpill.

"Yes, I’ll be married for 23 years in July. Yes, I’m still happily married to the same woman and have never been divorced, nor have I ever considered divorce. My marriage’s success is directly attributable to my Red Pill awareness and putting it into practice. Mrs. Tomassi and I are still very much in love, we’ve raised a gorgeous and smart daughter to adulthood, and I think my marriage is as close to most people’s ideal as can be.
And yes, I would still never remarry were I to find myself single tomorrow – I simply cannot endorse marriage, as it exists today, as a good idea for any young man. Remember, this is coming from a guy with a d*** good marriage. As MGTOWs are fond of saying, endorsing marriage today is leading the lambs to slaughter. I agree. It is simply, statistically, the worst decision a man can make in his life at present, yet so many men want to believe they won’t be one of those statistics." -from Rollo Tomassi's blog

 

[Epic Days]

Marriage is about having and raising children. There is no other purpose for a man to marry. Period. There is a real gambit in that.

 

[Dash Riprock]

US Facts:

-60% of US marriages will end in divorce
-80% of women file for divorce
-The average divorce costs $15,000 per person
-The average wedding costs $30,000
-The average marriage lasts 7 years
-It takes 2 votes to get married and 1 vote to get divorced
-Marriage, and especially kids, often (negatively) affect one's earning potential and career
-People often "let themselves go" once married
-There are more opportunities and temptations now than ever before to stray once married; dating apps, hookup sites, social media, meet ups, etc
-Reports and data re: infidelity among women (wives) show it's on the rise
-Certain laws state the spouse is also responsible for the other's debt--you also marry their credit score, debts, and bank account
-A "happy" marriage in 2019 requires a serious commitment of time and energy that can be hard to maintain
-Family courts are extremely draconian and heavily favor the female in the vast majority of divorces
-In some states (CA and OR, maybe others) the high earner, usually the man, must pay for the woman's divorce attorney (CA) and will still have to pay alimony even if she remarries (OR).
-Family courts almost always award custody of children to the mother
-One of the leading causes of bankruptcy among men is divorce

Unless you REALLY, REALLY want kids (and even then still not necessary), I cannot see another reason to get married unless you're just plain scared shi*tless of being alone and want the company--of which marriage offers no guarantee. Afraid of "what people will think" or "social norms"?? F*uck 'em. Whose life are you living? Yours or theirs?

I just cannot get my arms around being married. Maybe someone can try to sell me.

 

[zekko]

And yes, I would still never remarry were I to find myself single tomorrow – I simply cannot endorse marriage, as it exists today, as a good idea for any young man. Remember, this is coming from a guy with a d*** good marriage.

Him saying he wouldn't remarry is not a very profound statement. That would imply that either his marriage failed or had a tragic end. A lot of guys who get married say that they will try it once. Now if he had said that he regretted getting married, that would be another thing entirely, and as far as I know, he has not said that. If he did say that, I would very much question his claim that he had a happy marriage, but again I don't believe he has said that. I'm sure he wouldn't want to rewrite his daughter out of existence either.

But I agree that endorsing marriage as it exists today is not a good idea. People today are too selfish, unfortunately. More's the pity, since I think the nuclear family is the best way to raise children. Not an issue for me, since I never really wanted children. But I understand why a guy would.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Anyone who has read enough of Rollo's content knows why he is married and that he would not get married again. He got married in the 90s before becoming redpill.

"Yes, I’ll be married for 23 years in July. Yes, I’m still happily married to the same woman and have never been divorced, nor have I ever considered divorce. My marriage’s success is directly attributable to my Red Pill awareness and putting it into practice. Mrs. Tomassi and I are still very much in love, we’ve raised a gorgeous and smart daughter to adulthood, and I think my marriage is as close to most people’s ideal as can be.
And yes, I would still never remarry were I to find myself single tomorrow – I simply cannot endorse marriage, as it exists today, as a good idea for any young man. Remember, this is coming from a guy with a d*** good marriage. As MGTOWs are fond of saying, endorsing marriage today is leading the lambs to slaughter. I agree. It is simply, statistically, the worst decision a man can make in his life at present, yet so many men want to believe they won’t be one of those statistics." -from Rollo Tomassi's blog

This is all good and very candid.

BUT... (and I've read some of Rollo's book, not all)

It does lead me to believe he has field tested very little of his own material, except on his wife. He said he became Red Pilled after he got married.

I'm not disagreeing with his principles as I agree with many/most of them. However, some of his teachings I don't find all that accurate and tend to drive men WAY down the Red Pill rabbit hole whereby they get very myopic and lose their ability to critically think. I read it on SS all the time.

It's is kind of like learning how to start/run/grow a business from an economics professor at a university who teaches from a theoretical perspective because he's never actually started or owned a business (I actually have a friend who does this).

Anyone else have this concern?

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Anyone who has read enough of Rollo's content knows why he is married and that he would not get married again. He got married in the 90s before becoming redpill.

"Yes, I’ll be married for 23 years in July. Yes, I’m still happily married to the same woman and have never been divorced, nor have I ever considered divorce. My marriage’s success is directly attributable to my Red Pill awareness and putting it into practice. Mrs. Tomassi and I are still very much in love, we’ve raised a gorgeous and smart daughter to adulthood, and I think my marriage is as close to most people’s ideal as can be.
And yes, I would still never remarry were I to find myself single tomorrow – I simply cannot endorse marriage, as it exists today, as a good idea for any young man. Remember, this is coming from a guy with a d*** good marriage. As MGTOWs are fond of saying, endorsing marriage today is leading the lambs to slaughter. I agree. It is simply, statistically, the worst decision a man can make in his life at present, yet so many men want to believe they won’t be one of those statistics." -from Rollo Tomassi's blog

He also knows what top form SMV is and what epiphany phase is. Guess which hr married?

 

[PeasantPlayer]

The problem is not getting married. The problem is marrying the wrong woman or a woman who doesn't really love you and is only with you to have a provider.
I know many successful marriages.

Whats the point of marriage