"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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It all depends on how you deal with the bull****?

Plateonics

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It seems like a man has two choices. Either you give in to the bull**** (the tests) and win some short-term points. Or, you reject every bit of bull**** that comes down the pike, which puts you into risky negative point territory, but eventually she gains respect for you. If you take her bull****, you'll likely take it from others. So, who wants to spend their life with someone who allows themselves to be walked on. So, in the long-term, you win lots of points. But the dude with all the short-term points, in the long-run he's facing an impossible situation: A woman who has lost respect for him.

???
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Brosy

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Spot on really, the way I see it: if you don't know how to draw the line in a relationship, your resulting kids will grow up to be spoiled brats too.
 

zekko

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Plateonics said:
It seems like a man has two choices. Either you give in to the bull**** (the tests) and win some short-term points. Or, you reject every bit of bull**** that comes down the pike, which puts you into risky negative point territory, but eventually she gains respect for you. If you take her bull****, you'll likely take it from others. So, who wants to spend their life with someone who allows themselves to be walked on. So, in the long-term, you win lots of points. But the dude with all the short-term points, in the long-run he's facing an impossible situation: A woman who has lost respect for him.
Interesting idea, you could be on to something. There are two kinds of guys here, guys who want the quick short term lay. That's classic pickup, and notice how much of pickup is devoted to passing her sh!t tests.

Then there are guys like me who actually value relationships more than one night stands. I'm probably in the minority here, so I'll explain: If I find a girl worthy of being in a LTR, I think that's a valuable thing. Slvts, BPDs, and AWs are a dime a dozen. And if I can enjoy a woman on a multi-dimensional level, why should I settle for only the physical?

Anyway, point is I think more in the long term, and I firmly fall in the don't accept bullsh!t camp. The way to deal with sh!t tests is not to play.

So short term, pass her sh!t tests, and maybe get into her pants. Long term, don't put up with bullsh!t. She may not respect you, but it least it's a screening method.
 

Plateonics

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I'm deep in negative points with a woman I've been dating the past few months due to my systematic rejection of her tests. I'll try to report back on the outcome.

So, in a sense, while not intentionally searching for things to get on her case about, you are prepared to spot the BS and deal with it, show her ASAP that you're not the type to roll over. That's for women who enjoy to test so much. Others aren't so into testing and are more willing to go with the flow. (Maybe we should avoid the testers but maybe it's not possible).
 
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