"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Issue with ex-gf / friend

jlazz

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Hey, my ex dumped me a month ago because I wasn't showing any "emotional affection" for her and she felt I was only w/ her for sex.

By the time I was able to appreciate her as a gf, it was too late and she ended it with me...and said she would never take me back.

At that point, we're stall talking as friends and then she gets back with her ex from 2 years ago. They go out for 2 weeks and she breaks up with him. While they were going out, I was interfering and she said he would get jealous because she still had feelings for me.

A week later, she starts showing feelings for me again, inviting me to places, and offering to bake me my favorite cookies, etc. But, I was over her for the most part so I brushed it off. She would call me and leave me sweet voice mails, and then I started liking her again and called her just as much. Then I began calling her more...1-2 times a day or talk to her on AIM.

She began giving me sexual signals...overboard sexual signals that she wanted to hookup and be **** buddies. She lead me on. We meet up one night and makeout, but she stops me and tells me she can't do it again. But I still keep calling her...we get into an argument about her leading me on and we haven't talked since.

(She's going through emotional issues right now because she has a hormone problem and recently found out she has to get her ovaries removed this summer - she's dealing with hard stuff so the leading me on part was a result of the hormone imbalance).

I felt bad, and after reflecting realized that the whole time she wanted me there to support her...she trusted me and I broke it by showing that I only wanted her for sex which was a misunderstanding. So I called her two days later and she didn't pickup...I called her later that day - she picked up and I apologized for pushing sex on her and told her I'd be there for her no matter what. She told me it meant a lot to her and that she'd call me back when she got home.

She never did...so the next day I called her cell - voicemail. I called her hours later and voicemail again.

I msg her best friend on AIM that night to ask where my ex is and she tells me to lay off calling her because its becoming "stalkerish"...she says I'm calling too much and its scaring my ex away. (this was wednesday)

Its now Friday and we haven't made any contact since.

I miss her and want to let her know that I'm sorry for everything and want things to be back to normal again...

But I'm afraid if I call her or e-mail her it won't give her space and make her hate me more...and think I'm even more stalkerish.

She hasn't been on AIM since Sunday...and she hasn't blocked me because I checked with another screen name. I don't know what's going on. I would think she would get over it by now.

I can't get over her...I've been trying to occupy my focus elsewhere and it keeps coming back to her. WHAT SHOULD I DO?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Michele l'Arcangelo

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Originally posted by jlazz
She hasn't been on AIM since Sunday...and she hasn't blocked me because I checked with another screen name. I don't know what's going on. I would think she would get over it by now.
Stalker!

Man if you do that, at least say "I have two screen names that sign on at once... couldn't but help notice that she wasn't on either name... so I'm guessing she didn't block me."

What should you do?
Don't do anything, just do what you normally do, and FEEL THE PAIN! Just do what you do, going out with another chick WILL NOT help you immediately. All that will do is that you will try making that relationship like your old relationship with your ex... then it will say how much no other girl is as good as your ex.

But if the date with another chick goes good, it still doesn't mean you're over your ex. One day it'll come around back to you.

Just do what you do, and let things handle naturally as they come.
 

oakraiderz2

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Originally posted by kev me723
"getting her ovaries removed" huh? that's a classic.
Hahahahahaha...burn

Leave her alone dude, shes crazy.
 

jlazz

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Yeah she has these medical issues.

I've been hanging out w/ my buddies a lot more lately and rowing starts soon so I'll be putting more time into that.

I just have different moods at times...one moment I'll be upset about this, but moments later I'll be over it and jolly.

I'm gonna let things come naturally...if she calls i'll deal w/ that, if she doesn't, not a problem. I'm gonna start talking to more girls and start making more "girl" friends because I have mainly guy friends.

She is crazy...I don't think she can help it either. When she's on her meds to balance out her hormones she is fine, but when she's off of them she gets moodswings up the wazzoo. The good thing is, she never contacted me when she was in the downmood.

She is probably wondering why I haven't tried contacting her because all other times one of us ended up calling each other after a day or 2 after the argument.

But then again, she thinks I'm a stalker lol.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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