"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Is traditional dating a complete waste of time for college guys?

OnTheWayUp

Senior Don Juan
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Gents,

Just been flaked on again, so I apologise in advance if this theory seems a little overly cynical.

I discovered PUA material back in September as a result of a failed "relationship" with the first girl I ever kissed. Since this time, I have been on somewhere between 10-15 dates with various other girls. These dates have included things like going to bars, playing minigolf, going rock climbing, hanging out in one of our rooms etc. I can't help but notice that all these dates, whilst for the most part good fun and good field experience at applying PUA knowledge, have ultimately led to nothing more than multiple friend zonings, a couple of failed kiss attempts and the discovery on my part that significantly more college age girls than I thought are basically AWs.

Conversely, the two times I've got kissing/ groping "action" since September have been:

1) 2am after a party, when I took the girl home with me.
2) When this same girl invited herself over to my place 7-10 days later.

Admittedly this sample size is very small (perhaps 10 girls in total), but it seems to me that I've had more success in escalating physically when I've been at a social event organised by someone else, rather than a formal "date" type setting I've arranged myself. I get the impression that many of the girls I've been out with went out with me simply because they were bored, had nothing else to do, and fancied some entertainment for the evening- of the non-sexual variety.

This leads me to believe that, rather than going on dates, I should put more effort into going to parties and attempting to escalate with/ isolate multiple girls from my friendship circle who I've already built sexual value with. I'm quite a social butterfly with lots of hobbies, so various girls come to mind in various social circles. I'd like to think that this approach would put my agenda (ie a sex-based relationship) first, whereas my dating approach up till now has given the girls too much attention with little or nothing in return for me, feeding into their frame of "I have to wait x dates before I put out."

Maybe girls my age feel too pressured by a one-on-one date? Or maybe girls are just that much more relaxed in a party setting? Or am I doing something fundamentally wrong on my dates?

Any other college guys out there with similar experiences?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

Julius_Seizeher

Master Don Juan
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All things aside, if you run with the right crowd in college and are a man "on the scene", you will be in like Flynn. You don't have to be that suave to get laid in college, it's largely a matter of just being there lol.

I was a big fraternity man and college was an orgy for me.
 

PapiChulo

Master Don Juan
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Canada, eh?
What OP says has lotsa validity. The term "dating" doesnt quite apply here either if they are under 25. It's more like "hanging out", partially because they are bored and seek entertainment. And the majority of these college AWs have boyfriends - so how do they come about getting an LTR? The ones that are single for awhile are AWs or have something wrong with them. (In most cases it's both)

On the hand: Where I live, the college parties or whatever have turned into sausage parties as well, with the same AWs, yet there is still a chance to get laid if that's what you are after (sounds like it is). Making out or sex still dont mean sh!t, right?
 
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