Is this ok?

[Nicklah]

Hey guys, i just wanted an opinion. This is an invitation i sent out to a girl today. We had alot of problems in the past. im going away this sunday for a fair while, and i wanted to see her and just enjoy ourselves like we used too.

" hey. would you like to come to my house on friday night for a date. not one where going out is theidea, but to have fun. there are rules though. it is B.Y.O.N.F.P - bring your own new and fresh perspective. The theme is to just forget about our past and have a hell of a night. There willbe drinks, and 1 challenge - to do something you are normally scared of doing in public - who knows. if you want to come, realise that you will end up having a really good time. let me know. "

 

[CapiCrimini]

it's okay. yet subjective.

would you like to come

not one where going out is theidea

B.Y.O.N.F.P

if you want to come,

are things I would consider changing or leaving out.The BYO thing because it's an acryonm... not the best to use...

But...

This is an invitation i sent out to a girl today.

So it's too late to change anything.

 

[MindOverMatter]

It would have been better if you asked here first, before sending it out...

It's in Gods hands now :/

 

[Unforsaken]

"hey. I am throwing a party at my house friday night. There is only one rules, though. What happens here stays here. Don't bother coming, if your not looking forward to having a good time".


This is way better and I got it off the top of my head, right now. You constantely repeated that she will have a good time. That extremely boring/insecure if you have to reassure her, she will have a good time.

If anything, learn from your mistakes.

 

[Nicklah]

yeah i can see that in the message, the last time we did this, it went down pretty bad. was a few months ago, i was just assuring her there wouldnt be a repeat. hmm.. i see what your saying though. cant change it now. its not a reflection of how i feel about it though, im more interested in getting her there. if she comes things will be fine

also. im going away on sunday. going out with her is not a possibility, the more she understands that this is a one night only, the more less she will worry about consequences or having to worry about me been all desperate after ( which is what happened last time ). im generally not one to linger on my crash and burns, but i find myself extreamly sexually attracted to her. besides, the situatin was once reversed, as much as that is the past. i know without desperation she is extreamly attracted to me.