Is this mind gaming or just low IL? Need Advice.

[jamesfromhouston]

Hey bros. Need advice!

I met a girl at a friend's party a few months back. We have been hanging and I eventually f*cked her. (We have also f*cked a few times.)

At first, she would initiate a lot, message me out of the blue, send me pics, ask what I am up to. Generally very bubbly. She also actively interacts with me on social media. It was clear the interest is there.

Randomly at some point, she started to go cold and withdraw from those behaviour. (Mainly after we had sex). She would take hours to a day to reply me with short/bland responses. She stopped any form of initiation, always leaving it to me to initiate. I've even froze her out for an entire week at one point and heard nothing from her. Although she does occasionally stalk me on instagram.

The weird thing is, she still always agrees to go out with me, when I ask and we would f*ck. And when we are out she seems enthusiastic. She would also tell me she talks about me a lot with her friends. Stuff like that.

In the past its always very straightforward, if a girl is cold, she will not be reachable & she will flake like hell, clearly no interest. And if a girl is repeatedly f*cking me, it usually is very straightforward too, the signals are clear there is interest.

So at this point I am just curious and want to expand my understanding.

Is this some mind game or just low IL?

Have you bros encountered anything similar?

Sh!t is just confusing!

-James

 

[Zimbabwe]

It sounds to me she just isn't a fan of texting, from all accounts IRL she seems to have high IL

 

[Grounded eagle]

Less texting and more real life compliance is a good thing.

Incessant texting is not a good idea anyway.She doesn’t make it hard for you when you initiate,you fvck pretty much every time you meet.....I don’t see a cause for concern.

 

[samspade]

A girl who goes out with you and fukks you when you call her, then leaves you alone? Sounds amazing.

 

[metalwater]

you are acceptable to her, but she is still hunting for better. she already has at least one guy that she likes better but he will not commit or spend more time with her.

at some point, she might become unavailable to you, until then enjoy the fwb setup.

keep talking to other women just like you would if you do not know this one. if you do not do that your self-esteem will crash.

if she ever wants more, she will let you know or you will feel it from her.

 

[Willie Naylor]

A girl who goes out with you and fukks you when you call her, then leaves you alone? Sounds amazing.

I'm thinking the same thing.

@jamesfromhouston this is what the RP does to you after so much consumption. It makes you panic and question every little detail about a girl's behavior toward you.

You're A1 with this girl. Nothing to worry about.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

If you have to ask, then….

 

[derby1]

if she doesnt flake on the meets, shes doing the girl code pull back. its totally predictable and what female dating coaches teach women.

it works 100% on a beta male as he panics and over invests, the woman then has all the power in the relationship.

Trouble with female dating coaches, is theyre tricks put high value males off them, high value males do not get more attracted by this debauchery.

Your doing well OP, just stay cool and always presume youll never hear from them again, it releases all the power they have.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Hey bros. Need advice!

I met a girl at a friend's party a few months back. We have been hanging and I eventually f*cked her. (We have also f*cked a few times.)

At first, she would initiate a lot, message me out of the blue, send me pics, ask what I am up to. Generally very bubbly. She also actively interacts with me on social media. It was clear the interest is there.

Randomly at some point, she started to go cold and withdraw from those behaviour. (Mainly after we had sex). She would take hours to a day to reply me with short/bland responses. She stopped any form of initiation, always leaving it to me to initiate. I've even froze her out for an entire week at one point and heard nothing from her. Although she does occasionally stalk me on instagram.

The weird thing is, she still always agrees to go out with me, when I ask and we would f*ck. And when we are out she seems enthusiastic. She would also tell me she talks about me a lot with her friends. Stuff like that.

In the past its always very straightforward, if a girl is cold, she will not be reachable & she will flake like hell, clearly no interest. And if a girl is repeatedly f*cking me, it usually is very straightforward too, the signals are clear there is interest.

So at this point I am just curious and want to expand my understanding.

Is this some mind game or just low IL?

Have you bros encountered anything similar?

Sh!t is just confusing!

-James

As others have stated, do not overthink/overnalyze this situation. Her actions dictate she is interested, I'd say medium to high. Def not low interest.

Quit texting her so much or at all. Limit yourself to a call here and there for a quick banter and set up a time to hang.

You have yourself a good situation, don't shorten it by letting your emotions get the best of you.

If she is there great, if she is not all the same. Remember, if you have enough stuff going on and you are truly living your life to your design none of this should faze you.

Lastly, let her chase you man. Let her invest as well. Don't do all the work, don't be pu**y whipped.


Modern Man Advice

 

[Macadellic]

She would also tell me she talks about me a lot with her friends.

The change in her behavior is a direct result from the advice her friends are giving her. I assume her friends are girls.

However her interest in you is high so when you call/text she answers to see you and fvck you.

 

[SmoothSmooth]

in my opinion she has been hurt in the past and is bringing that into your relationship. she is basically a cynic when it comes to men.

this is clearly not normal or expected behaviour from a girl you’re sleeping with, which is why you’re seeking advice. if you just take everyone’s advice and ‘ignore it’ for the sake of sex, you may compromise your integrity and have your self esteem chipped.
Never put thirst for sex above your integrity or self respect. It will make you bitter over time…like many pua types who end up finding sex meaningless and empty.

nothing compares to dating a girl who is giving you her 100% all.

 

[BadBoy89]

if she doesnt flake on the meets, shes doing the girl code pull back. its totally predictable and what female dating coaches teach women.

it works 100% on a beta male as he panics and over invests, the woman then has all the power in the relationship.

Trouble with female dating coaches, is theyre tricks put high value males off them, high value males do not get more attracted by this debauchery.

Your doing well OP, just stay cool and always presume youll never hear from them again, it releases all the power they have.

+1.

This is exactly what girls do. After sex they do the PULLBACK to see how desperate & needy the guy is. If he can get sex from other women, he'll generally be OK. If he can't, the power will generally shift to her terms.

Now if the guy wants MORE than sex, if he wants companionship and nurturing from her, then he will act very needy.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Sounds like her compliance has remained consistent, yet her actions have changed. Is that right?

If so, I'm betting that she's been getting recent advice from a girlfriend, reading some "how to get a man" type book. or visiting a female forum like this one.

As long as she's still pliable (your desired end-result is still there) I wouldn't worry too much about it.

 

[manfrombelow]

I really don't see any problems in a woman who still fvck your brains out everytime you go out while being not too keen on keeping the texts alive. It's a dream comes true for me really because I'm not a fan of meaningless chatting, especially with women I fvck.

However, I can sense that you might want something more than sex with this woman, a GF experience perhaps. If that's the case, please try your best to calm your tits down to keep treating what you're having with her the way it is: A FWB relationship.

If anyone needs to bring up the "GF&BF" stuff, it must come from her, not you. Your job now is to enjoy the sex, date other women if possible, and don't worry too much about her not texting you too much. Calm. Your. Tits. Down.

After all, it's likely at this moment in time, this girl also only sees you as a FWB, which is not a bad thing. So don't ruin it.

 

[SmoothSmooth]

If she has the strength to pull back and act aloof after sex, how high is her IL really?

would she use those tactics on a man she thought had better options?

 

[2Rocky]

Novelty of texting you has worn off. She doesn't feel like she needs to keep you on the hook. Since you have had multiple rolls in the hay, she's locked in and views you as a good lay, worth doing again. Don't fret about it. just make sure your pipeline is full of other options.

 

[Macadellic]

If anyone needs to bring up the "GF&BF" stuff, it must come from her, not you. Your job now is to enjoy the sex, date other women if possible, and don't worry too much about her not texting you too much. Calm. Your. Tits. Down.

It’s her job to lock you down and get a commitment from you. In my bluepilled days I had a plate and I was the one that pushed for a serious relationship. It turned out she was a couchsurfing slut to d!cks all around the world.

Lesson learned:
Inexperience and emotional immaturity results in getting into a relationship with the wrong woman.

 

[jamesfromhouston]

Sounds like her compliance has remained consistent, yet her actions have changed. Is that right?

If so, I'm betting that she's been getting recent advice from a girlfriend, reading some "how to get a man" type book. or visiting a female forum like this one.

As long as she's still pliable (your desired end-result is still there) I wouldn't worry too much about it.

Hey everyone, just to post an update here. Hope others (now or in the future) who find themselves in my situation can take from my discovery.

Many of you were right.

Black Widow Void was right about the advising part.

I bumped into her at a friend's birthday the other day. Was just playing it chill and we ended up chatting a bit. She eventually confessed quite emotionally that she has been avoiding me recently because her sister has been advising her that I am just playing her since I've been having sex with her yet have not clarified our relationship status. Her sister apparently told her to ignore me and ghost in order to stir something in me and guide me to the discussion. She seems to want certainty/commitment from me and this is the way she has chosen to do it.

A few things I've already read from the forum stands true. Girls nowadays are always checking their phones. Its really odd to have someone ignore you like that. It is almost certainly intentional, either: lack of IL or some game playing. In my case, she has been meeting me but also acting aloof.

Anyway, hope you gents can take some things away from this if not already.

We already talked about meeting up again tomorrow night!

-James

 

[derby1]

Her sister apparently told her to ignore me and ghost in order to stir something in me and guide me to the discussion.

is her sister married to a local HVM, or at least a decent guy?

would be interesting to find out.

single women, keep women single

 

[firstbornunicorn]

It’s her job to lock you down and get a commitment from you.

The reason many men say this is because they're afraid of rejection. I assure you, having that conversation doesn't have to be overly serious nor awkward. A simple "I don't want to share you" is enough to get the point across. You don't need any labels associated with this. If she's into you this will change nothing or make it even better. If she's "iffy" about you then it might turn her off. Also works very well when you're her best option.