Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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is this good DHV?

hopelessguy

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so girl has been obvi checking me out for weeks now, but i havent really been motivatd to do anything about it... but im a bit more curious now. we've been communicating over email because she needs some notes for a class, but she doesnt know what my name is (and i only know im talking to her because i facebook-stalked). meeting to give her the notes next week, planning something like...

Me: Wait... you're Charlotte?
Charlotte: Yeah, why?
Me: You've been checking me out for like five weeks now.

i think it's a good DHV move, but i also feel like there's some unspoken rule about how we shouldnt comment on a girl's making obvious signs...
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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stayfly

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i wouldn't use it personally

what type of response do you expect to get from it?

btw, what PU material have you studied and how have you improved yourself?
 

hopelessguy

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ive read d'angelo's double your dating twice and hte book of pook.

eh she probably knwos who i am. she's showering me with compliments over email. who deos that?

edit: probably someoen who's reciving help from someone else. but im pretty sure she knwos who i am. she tried talking to me when i had a nametag on once... but i just wasnt that interested at the time so i dropped the convo and went about my business
 

stayfly

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hopelessguy said:
ive read d'angelo's double your dating twice and hte book of pook.

eh she probably knwos who i am. she's showering me with compliments over email. who deos that?

edit: probably someoen who's reciving help from someone else. but im pretty sure she knwos who i am. she tried talking to me when i had a nametag on once... but i just wasnt that interested at the time so i dropped the convo and went about my business
cool bro

no hate but honestly, right now and a lot of the threads I've seem from you seem to be really basic or even backwards stuff that you should either be able to figure out yourself or know from experience if it would work or not

what do you think needs to happen for you to get to the point where you trust yourself enough to go for what you want with women? what skill or belief would you need to have to have a very good idea of what would work and what wouldn't without needing to check with anyone? what's the one or two things holding you back from being great with women?

let me know and I can probably help you breakthrough to get where you want to be
 

hopelessguy

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what do you think needs to happen for you to get to the point where you trust yourself enough to go for what you want with women? what skill or belief would you need to have to have a very good idea of what would work and what wouldn't without needing to check with anyone? what's the one or two things holding you back from being great with women?
After much soul-searching, my biggest problem is that I have trouble thinking of myself as the prize. It's hard for me to imagine that someone's interested in me (I have plenty of friends so Im not a loser or anything). I feel like I'm always pursuing and am never being pursued. I can't conceptualize that a girl might be thinking about me right now.

it's not a self-esteem issue though. i go to harvard law, have a corporate law job lined up. i know im good looking. im cultured, confident, etc. etc.

I guess the big adjective lacking from that paragraph is "sexual." I guess I have a hard time viewing myself as a sexual person and always feel like a creep whenever i try to be one. a few weeks ago i was making a move on someone, she rejected my advances. i didnt feel down because she rejected me. i felt down because i felt like i stooped to a new low.

So im focusing on the dhv thing. thinking as if everyone wants me. letting myself understand that im the prize and that a girl has to earn my favor. i think i can carry it if i have some more sexual confidence in myself.

i know what you're thinking: any guy who says is confident cannot possibly evaluate himself in that way. well i get a lot of compliments because of my confidence. i got my job because of my charisma/confidence. girls who've hooked up with me (but later dumped me) said they were drawn to my confidence.

but i guess im so riddled with self-doubt, it's hard for me to have sexual/romantic confidence. im getting more daring. but im taking really slow baby steps.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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stayfly

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hopelessguy said:
After much soul-searching, my biggest problem is that I have trouble thinking of myself as the prize. It's hard for me to imagine that someone's interested in me (I have plenty of friends so Im not a loser or anything). I feel like I'm always pursuing and am never being pursued. I can't conceptualize that a girl might be thinking about me right now.

it's not a self-esteem issue though. i go to harvard law, have a corporate law job lined up. i know im good looking. im cultured, confident, etc. etc.

I guess the big adjective lacking from that paragraph is "sexual." I guess I have a hard time viewing myself as a sexual person and always feel like a creep whenever i try to be one. a few weeks ago i was making a move on someone, she rejected my advances. i didnt feel down because she rejected me. i felt down because i felt like i stooped to a new low.

So im focusing on the dhv thing. thinking as if everyone wants me. letting myself understand that im the prize and that a girl has to earn my favor. i think i can carry it if i have some more sexual confidence in myself.

i know what you're thinking: any guy who says is confident cannot possibly evaluate himself in that way. well i get a lot of compliments because of my confidence. i got my job because of my charisma/confidence. girls who've hooked up with me (but later dumped me) said they were drawn to my confidence.

but i guess im so riddled with self-doubt, it's hard for me to have sexual/romantic confidence. im getting more daring. but im taking really slow baby steps.
that's interesting bro

have you had many good (sexual) relationships with women before?
 

xdreamz

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it's not a good dhv because you will most likely make her get defensive because you seem defensive...

wait, you're charlotte? is a very small dhv (in theory of the "neg" hit) from just it reminding her that you barely know her. the thing is that these can go overboard.

if your style is the charismatic, then you should read Juggler method.
 

hopelessguy

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have you had many good (sexual) relationships with women before?
Nope... but that's mostly because of personal issues that are no longer in the way.
 

Dubh

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my man 1st off you need to change your whole outlook about your self stop having self pitty with the username thats for starters
and you should find something positive that you did and do through out ur life and day look at it statistics wise women out number us on this plant and I know u have taken math so when there is less of something its in more of demand you know supply and demand its economics lol so consider your self a rare gem especially since your learning from sosuave hang in there man because this is just one of many asepcts to look at to make u the prize n a relationship
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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stayfly

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hopelessguy said:
Nope... but that's mostly because of personal issues that are no longer in the way.
that's cool. if I was you I'd try and meet some nice girls and get a girlfriend

you'll learn so much and it can help you get over ur limiting beliefs about urself

also, check out Mystery Method (book/DVD/mp3) for a clear idea of the structure of pickup / starting a relationship

AND

check out the RSD stuff (Foundations/Transformations etc) for a clear idea of the mentality of being good with women

Pook and DYD have interesting concepts but aren't concrete enough for beginners IMO. too much fluff and grey areas.

sound good bro?
 

hopelessguy

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my man 1st off you need to change your whole outlook about your self stop having self pitty with the username thats for starters
I dont know why people take my username so seriously here. im pretty cool with myself. obvi im a little frustrated, but otherwise im living a good life:)

check out the RSD stuff (Foundations/Transformations etc) for a clear idea of the mentality of being good with women
sounds great. what's RSD's stuff? (i'm not too familiar with the acronyms)
 

stayfly

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hopelessguy said:
I dont know why people take my username so seriously here. im pretty cool with myself. obvi im a little frustrated, but otherwise im living a good life:)


sounds great. what's RSD's stuff? (i'm not too familiar with the acronyms)
Real Social Dynamics. Tyler and them. Most of them are freaks and not necessarily people you'd want to become but their material has definite value. if you get there stuff and Mystery's stuff and take the best bits you'll understand attraction and pickup a hundred times better and be much clearer on the process and mentality.
 

hopelessguy

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this is great stuff. tyler says a lot of things that resonate with me. thank you so much!
 

stayfly

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hopelessguy said:
this is great stuff. tyler says a lot of things that resonate with me. thank you so much!
you're welcome brother.

listen, learn, absorb and practice in the field and you'll get good.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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