Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Is this girl into me?

redstar17

New Member
Joined
Mar 22, 2021
Messages
6
Reaction score
0
Age
27
So I'm looking for some advice about a girl I've been talking to recently.

I'm 27 finishing a masters at university in the UK. Around November last year I was put on an assignment with a girl and did a zoom chat with her to go over some work, we chatted a bit about work but mostly just chatted as you would on a date (got to know eachother, chatted about how **** lockdown is etc.) for about 2 hours. She's a good 7.5/10 and my type, I think around 23/24, proper English rose type posh girl. Since then we've texted on and off for the past few months, mostly about work over whatsapp.

This was until the past week where we've been texting almost everyday, until she invited me out for "a drink and go discover the city" (where we attend university), when she comes back from her parents house in May. I said sure, let me know when you're back, and she hasn't responded to that text yet (its been 48 hours).

So my question is: is her behaviour indicitave that she's into me? And how should I manage this situation to escalate moving forward? FYI she rarely responds to me immediately, usually waiting a couple of hours between texts, but always responds.

Any tips welcome, thanks.
 

redstar17

New Member
Joined
Mar 22, 2021
Messages
6
Reaction score
0
Age
27
Wait for her to come back to you and let you know when she is back in town , and set up the the date
This might sound like a stupid question (I came here from a relatively inexperienced background in dating due to multiple LTRs in my 20s), but do you think that she views this as a "date" or do I need to make my feelings explicit in that sense?
 

Bigpapa

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 17, 2020
Messages
973
Reaction score
887
Age
121
This might sound like a stupid question (I came here from a relatively inexperienced background in dating due to multiple LTRs in my 20s), but do you think that she views this as a "date" or do I need to make my feelings explicit in that sense?
it is more likely that this is the case , than it is not

the only way to know is to set up a meeting with her and escalate , and see where this goes
 

bat soup

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
1,963
Reaction score
2,139
Age
41
So I'm looking for some advice about a girl I've been talking to recently.

I'm 27 finishing a masters at university in the UK. Around November last year I was put on an assignment with a girl and did a zoom chat with her to go over some work, we chatted a bit about work but mostly just chatted as you would on a date (got to know eachother, chatted about how **** lockdown is etc.) for about 2 hours. She's a good 7.5/10 and my type, I think around 23/24, proper English rose type posh girl. Since then we've texted on and off for the past few months, mostly about work over whatsapp.

This was until the past week where we've been texting almost everyday, until she invited me out for "a drink and go discover the city" (where we attend university), when she comes back from her parents house in May. I said sure, let me know when you're back, and she hasn't responded to that text yet (its been 48 hours).

So my question is: is her behaviour indicitave that she's into me? And how should I manage this situation to escalate moving forward? FYI she rarely responds to me immediately, usually waiting a couple of hours between texts, but always responds.

Any tips welcome, thanks.
No, she's full of shiiit. You're her text buddy, her orbiter, her platonic friend. And you've wasted 2 months of your life.
 

image

"If you love women, you must read the SoSuave Guide to Women. It's fantastic!"

redstar17

New Member
Joined
Mar 22, 2021
Messages
6
Reaction score
0
Age
27
No, she's full of shiiit. You're her text buddy, her orbiter, her platonic friend. And you've wasted 2 months of your life.
Bear in mind in the UK we have been in full lockdown for the entire time we've been talking, lockdown has just been lifted and now she's offering me to meet up
 

TheCharmingGuy

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 19, 2020
Messages
123
Reaction score
98
Age
24
Sorry bro, most people on this forum are children who know about love, and they know about sex. And, like children, they often confuse the two. Don’t listen to people like BatSoup who think the only way to get a girl is to get into her pants on the first date. They will never have a good relationship because they have already damaged their own brains too much with this stupid mindset.
P.S. Doesn’t sound like she’s into you bud but you could escalate it and see how things go
 

redstar17

New Member
Joined
Mar 22, 2021
Messages
6
Reaction score
0
Age
27
Sorry bro, most people on this forum are children who know about love, and they know about sex. And, like children, they often confuse the two. Don’t listen to people like BatSoup who think the only way to get a girl is to get into her pants on the first date. They will never have a good relationship because they have already damaged their own brains too much with this stupid mindset.
P.S. Doesn’t sound like she’s into you bud but you could escalate it and see how things go
Thanks for the reasoned response. What are the indicators that she's maybe cold? Just asking as she suggested the date
 

TheCharmingGuy

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 19, 2020
Messages
123
Reaction score
98
Age
24
You might have flagged yourself as a friend when you did not make your intentions clear. Also, it is true that texting her for months on and off will probably have caused her to lose any interest she had in you. Girls hate waiting. But contrary to many beliefs you will find on this site, it’s not too late. Next time you text her, invite her to a coffee at a nice little bistro outside and chat. If you are clear enough in your intentions everything should go smoothly.
Also, if she is into you, she will probably be responding to your texts very quickly. If she is waiting a long time to respond, she probably isn’t into you
 

AttackFormation

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 2, 2014
Messages
3,753
Reaction score
3,240
Age
28
Location
Sweden
1) You wont know which is which until you escalate physically when you see her, and see what her response is. That's the only question that really matters... is she more or less receptive, or not receptive, when you break the touch barrier. You may or may not have a gut feeling about this.

2) Dont get hung up on trying to scry any one girl. It's a numbers game, you cant know or control what she feels at all times. Just make your move and move on.
 
Last edited:

redstar17

New Member
Joined
Mar 22, 2021
Messages
6
Reaction score
0
Age
27
Also, if she is into you, she will probably be responding to your texts very quickly. If she is waiting a long time to respond, she probably isn’t into you
I think this is likely the truth but then again, as others have said, hard to say before you meet face to face. I remain optimistic as she proposed the date
 

samspade

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 5, 2008
Messages
7,434
Reaction score
4,359
Age
45
Location
Colorado Panhandle
She likes what she sees so far. That's why she invited you out.

It's an opportunity to see if there's real chemistry. If there is (which you can help create), then you have an opportunity to flirt and escalate.

Because you're inexperienced, you're asking "is she into me?" That's not a question you need to ask - ever. All girls are into you until they reject you. And if they do, it's because they're just silly and won't get the chance to enjoy your full awesomeness. Just assume attraction and go from there, relax and have fun. And like mentioned above, it can't hurt to socialize with other chicks.
 

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
4,220
Reaction score
4,502
This might sound like a stupid question (I came here from a relatively inexperienced background in dating due to multiple LTRs in my 20s), but do you think that she views this as a "date" or do I need to make my feelings explicit in that sense?
No need to say anything. Meet up with her, have fun and escalate when the opportunity arrives
 

LARaiders85

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 4, 2016
Messages
9,060
Reaction score
8,703
Age
36
This might sound like a stupid question (I came here from a relatively inexperienced background in dating due to multiple LTRs in my 20s), but do you think that she views this as a "date" or do I need to make my feelings explicit in that sense?
She views it as a date as long as you play it right.
 

redstar17

New Member
Joined
Mar 22, 2021
Messages
6
Reaction score
0
Age
27
She likes what she sees so far. That's why she invited you out.

It's an opportunity to see if there's real chemistry. If there is (which you can help create), then you have an opportunity to flirt and escalate.

Because you're inexperienced, you're asking "is she into me?" That's not a question you need to ask - ever. All girls are into you until they reject you. And if they do, it's because they're just silly and won't get the chance to enjoy your full awesomeness. Just assume attraction and go from there, relax and have fun. And like mentioned above, it can't hurt to socialize with other chicks.
Yeah that's how the optimist in me is trying to see it, I'm just wondering why she hasn't responded to me yet... maybe I'm overthinking it.

I'm sure a lot of guys sympathise but part of the issue is I see her as a bit out of my league, I guess I'll have to see how it goes on the night and try to escalate physical contact when I can
 

image

Put away your credit card.

You can now read our detailed guide to women and dating for free - Right Here!

samspade

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 5, 2008
Messages
7,434
Reaction score
4,359
Age
45
Location
Colorado Panhandle
Yeah that's how the optimist in me is trying to see it, I'm just wondering why she hasn't responded to me yet... maybe I'm overthinking it.

I'm sure a lot of guys sympathise but part of the issue is I see her as a bit out of my league, I guess I'll have to see how it goes on the night and try to escalate physical contact when I can
You said "let me know when you're back" and she'll probably do that. It's only been two days, three, whatever. So yes, you are overthinking it and more importantly, you need some other things to focus on besides this.

Out of your league? Don't be ridiculous. Don't get roped into that 1-10 scale of thinking either. Assuming you present yourself well and take good care of yourself, it'll be fine. Girls don't initiate plans with guys that creep them out.
 

derby1

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 10, 2017
Messages
2,017
Reaction score
1,865
Age
38
OP just a couple of things you need to learn, you also need to adopt more of a mercenary mindset, stop thinking women are precious in your mind

1) women rinse men of non-sexual attention(ie they pimp out your time). they extract it like money, through, DM's, you being her therapist, etc and they usually give the man nothing.
2)shes not single, no woman is single they have a host of alpha/beta men they are spinning. Never make out you know or get jealous
3) women are sneaky as hell.
4) ignore what she says, she will say youre perfect in the AM then ghost you forever in the PM...and you will be like WTF WTF?????
5) you are treating women to boyfriend vibes before them earning boyfriend vibes, she has received her currency there is nothing for her to wonder about

hope that helps
 

bat soup

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
1,963
Reaction score
2,139
Age
41
Bear in mind in the UK we have been in full lockdown for the entire time we've been talking, lockdown has just been lifted and now she's offering me to meet up
It's not just that, though. The whole thing has been based on work/study and totally platonic. It's a waste of time to talk to a girl for this long without making a move.

I understand that you used that as your in, but you have to move past that stage as quickly as possible.

As for her being flaky about meeting up and so on - talking about meeting up is not the same as actually doing it. Talk is cheap. You need to meet up, make a move and only then you'll see if she is interested or not.
 

Barrister

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 28, 2018
Messages
753
Reaction score
934
Age
34
This might sound like a stupid question (I came here from a relatively inexperienced background in dating due to multiple LTRs in my 20s), but do you think that she views this as a "date" or do I need to make my feelings explicit in that sense?
My opinion: she’s interested in you. I disagree with the others saying this is platonic. You’ve developed a rapport with her from your assignment over zoom and subsequent texting. Ironically, part of the reason she probably finds you attractive is that you have that good rapport and she wants more from you. Here’s how you screw that up: by suddenly wondering if you should text her more and start stupidly reaching out. The ball is now in her court to reach out when she’s back.

She will - or maybe she finds another guy before she comes back and you don’t get any shot. Talk to other women in meantime and don’t get hung up on her. She likely reaches out if she’s single when she gets back to the city. If that is the case you are in a very good position. Don’t screw it up in the meantime.
 
Last edited:
Top