"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Is this BPD or normal?

Ease

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Thriller said:
To be honest, it seems it is the opposite. The more I take care of her the better she behaves, but if I "neglect" her in any way she will tend to be more upset. Yes, it is the opposite of what we have learn as PUAs.
But man it sounds like she's punishing you for not giving her what she wants. You might not see it but you sound very 'trained' indeed.

So what if you neglect her? Shes your girlfriend not your daughter, your there for a romantic relationship not to take care of her. IMO the reasonable thing to do when you get neglected is to be sad, not throw a fit and act unreasonable. Thats not right.

And when she acts unreasonable do you ever put your foot down and say NO? Does she always get her way when she throws a fit? A girl doesnt want someone who she can manipulate and get her way with, they want a strong leader that they respect, remember? Crazy but sometimes you really do need to stand up and say no to show that you are the man.

This situation reminds me a lot of my ex. She was very manipulative but i didnt see it at the time, i just fell for her games. Your woman sounds like shes used to getting her way, or has serious emotional issues. Either way do you think its right for you to feel like your walking on eggshells around your girlfriend, scared that she might throw a tantrum?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Thriller

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I agree in that everything she complains about she should feel sad like we all do instead of angry.

I am not sure how one says NO. Whenever she gets angry it just mean that for a few minutes or for a few days the situation is tense, she is angry and i am like "oh not again". In the end she doesn't get what she wants, it is just an awkward, useless period of time. I don't give in, that's why these periods of time last more than a few minutes, because I don't just say sorry and carry on with it (that's another complain of hers, why do I always have to be right).

So I don't think she gets her way, she just gets annoyed and wastes a precious time in our relationship.
 

horaholic

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The girl; I dated that acted like yours used to tell me straight up, that when she threw her little tantrums, to stand my ground, ignore her demands, and tell her to talk to me when she feels like acting like a grown-up. This came from the very mouth of the woman who was doing it!

She is one of the few females I can actually get good advice about females from. She knows the games she plays, even thought she doesnt realize she's doing it at the time. Before I found this site, she told me about what we call shyt-tests here, and about being a man, and in charge, and a leader at all times. I now know that she spoke the truth.
 

Thriller

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Ease said:
But man it sounds like she's punishing you for not giving her what she wants. You might not see it but you sound very 'trained' indeed.
I still don't understand completely what you mean by trained. Is it that by getting angry since the beginning she has managed to make me behave as she wants and now she gets angry less often because I am better "trained" than before?
 
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