"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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is this an rejection

T

ThaDJ

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ok this is how i told this to my friend... it exatly the same convo i had w/ her.. in person!!

ok well

she works w/ me

and goes to same school

ok so i went up to her

and i was like hey whats up

and she was like nothin

she asked me what i was doing tonite

i told her nothing yet

ok so then i ask her what she is doing tomorrow

she said that she is hanging out w/ some friends

i was like ok

she wasked me why i asked

i just said that i just was wondering if she wanted to hang out

: she was like i promised to hang out w/ that person

i was like ok

then i was like well ill ttyl

and i left



all of this happend like around 9 eastern... store closes at 9... so i ppl were pretty much kicking me out

ok so i already know that i should have gotten her # lol

u guys think i still have a chance?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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S

souporman

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Dude.. buddy.. pal...

Come on.

The girl had plans before hand. She has a life, and is busy at times.
 
D

Double_Diamonds

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Is this an rejection?
No good sir, that is an Erection!
 
I

I-am-someone

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Like... you totally like blew it man...
You should have like asked her for her number or, like, pursued a bit more, you know...
But whatever, sh!t happens.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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F

Finlay

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not neccesarily, you didnt directly ask her to hang out with you, you asked her what she was up to ( usually not a bad move )

you were just unfortunate dude.

try again one more time another day and if it doesnt work then move on, at least your talking to girls, thats one positive that can be taklen out of the situation.
 
M

Mr. Debonaire

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also, you shouldn't have told her you weren't doing anything that night. this is a sign that you HAVE no life. plus, saying nothing "yet" suggests that if she asked you to do something, you would jump up like a salivating pavlov's dog.

you blew it
 
T

ThaDJ

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Actually, everything is good. She actually wanted to hang out with me that night. I just didnt catch that. Im talking to her right now and everything seems to be going good. I got her # :)
 
M

Mr. Debonaire

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i stand corrected...

FLUKE!

lmao ;)

still, never tell a girl your not busy. im not just spouting the bible, be busy as much as possible and try to make time for her. remember, YOUR the catch
 
J

Jerky Boi

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Well nice job man. But for future reference, make sure you at least look like you have some plans that night. A girl wants someone who will bring a little excitement to their life.


Oh yea, and instead of asking her what she's doing for the next day, you probably should have asked her when's the next day she'd be available. You would have gotten a better response. Good luck and happy hunting :D
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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