"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Is this AFC?

LeChanteur

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It has been freezing where I am recently and I was at a party the other night and was just curious if offering your coat to a girl was AFC or not? I know some guys who definatly wouldn't but when Im standing talking to a cute girl who is just about shivering...
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Cheiradawg

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Cheiradawg

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Originally posted by Cheiradawg
If you knew the chick it was not afc. It was manly as hell.

If you didn't know the chick (she was just standing there and you hadn't talked to her before or your conversation wasn't going ot last long) it would be wierd more than anything.
 

drmeathead

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depends...is her bf there or some dude she has been talking to all night. if so...let him put a coat on her. pretty much what i have gathered in my short time her is that you dont be a womans crutch (physically, mentally, or even spiritually) when she isnt interested in you sexually.

if you think about that primally, it makes sense. why help another guy pass his genes on? now being her crutch if you are involved with her sexually is fine. you arre simply protecting the vessel in which your genes are passed to the next generation.
 

coldcoal

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It all really depends on how you are with women in general. Honestly, I think few things (with exception, of course) are AFC all by themself if you have a grasp on things. You can bend the rules here and there, but you don't want to go too far with it.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Life-Trainee

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Would it be AFC if I sacrificed my interests for hers? For instance standing outside smoking and the girl is shivering, but if I give her my coat I will be cold.
 

AFK Protector

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Ok I've been in a SIMILAR situation. Why do I say similar? Because in my situation I didn't even think. This girl that I'm friends with...she's hot...may be interested in me...I don't really care...

Anyways, she's really sick and she came to school in a sweater looking all tired and weak. So we had to get books from the pile and I said, "hey you need a book? don't sweat I see you're tired." so I got the book for her and it was all good. But I didn't carry her books or anything since we go different ways. So my rule is this: if you have to go out of your way to help a woman, don't. Unless they're your relative/mom/sibling/etc. But I had to get a book anyways...so why not get my profile boosted by helping out a friend in need yeah?

Go ahead, say this is AFC because I couldn't care less. This site and forum is awesome...nono beyond awesome, but sometimes we get caught up in the rules and terms. What wouuld you have done if you never even knew what AFC meant?
 

coldcoal

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The problem is that it is extremely difficult to convey here how an action that would immediately be considered chumpish can once in a while play out to be very smooth.
To try to describe these situations would be more chaotic than helpful, because most of the newbs here seeking help would misinterpret & mangle the concept, only to come back here with a "wtf" thread.

The only post I've read that I can remember being a good example is a FR by ManOman some time back, which briefly highlighted on giving out roses in a night club. It was unusual enough to be positive in it's context, but the idea itself of "giving a rose" would be hissed and booed to no end if someone had asked, "Is it AFC to...?"

Context is very important. Too often overlooked I think.
 

Crank_It_Up

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Originally posted by LeChanteur
It has been freezing where I am recently and I was at a party the other night and was just curious if offering your coat to a girl was AFC or not? I know some guys who definatly wouldn't but when Im standing talking to a cute girl who is just about shivering...
giving her your coat would be a gallant gesture on your part, but not being able to think for yourself and asking if it's ok or not is very AFC
 
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