"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

Is This AFC Behavior, Or A Don Giovanni Move?

DharmaBear

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 9, 2004
Messages
75
Reaction score
0
I met one of my coworker's sisters (actually, three of my coworkers are related to her) on a business trip in London last summer (I'm from Arizona). We really hit it off, but being the AFC I was at the time I made no serious moves. In hindsight, she was definitely giving off the signs, and at the very least I should have number closed (though we met and spent some time in London, we both live in the same city in Arizona and I could have called her).

Alright DJ's, please tell me if you think the following is AFC:

1) Should I try to get in touch with her now, "out of the blue," even though it's been like 7 months? Or, would that seem strange and desperate?

2) This girl is a hairstylist at a major salon here in town. If I do try to hook up with her, it seems a good move might be to set up a hair appointment with her, get the rapport going again (which I'm much better at now) while she's doing my hair, and then after the haircut close the deal (which I'm also better at). The only thing is: a standard cut at this fancy joint costs 60 bones! And, that's before the tip! Would this seem desperate and AFC to blow that much wad just to have a good opportunity to talk with this chick? Or, am I overanalyzing?

Please advise!


-Dharma
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Austin3.8

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 21, 2005
Messages
35
Reaction score
0
Age
45
Location
Austin
(1) You would creep her out
(2) Paying $60 to TALK to a girl? omg

Seriously, ask your female coworkers if they go out and do anything anywhere. If they do tell them you are going and to make sure that this girl is there. After 7 months you need to take a more indirect approach otherwise you will raise all kinds of questions that dont need to be raised.
 

SELF-MASTERY

Banned
Joined
Dec 15, 2004
Messages
1,971
Reaction score
7
These days I'm all for the honest approach.

Get friendly with your coworker and then tell her that you had a crush on the other chick, but you were to cowardly to make action, Ask for the chicks number, call her.

Saves you 60 bucks

Only do the above if you two really hit it off.

Any action you take now has a HUGE failure rate. You make come off as some desperate creep, but who cares, what she thinks of you doesn't change who you really are.

Go for it, if she's still on your mind.

My friend picked up his current gf, by doing something similar to what I described.
 

DharmaBear

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 9, 2004
Messages
75
Reaction score
0
Thanks for your input. I agree - it might be creepy to just call and/or show up out of nowhere after 7 months. As for my coworkers, they are related to her, and they are all guys. So, they don't just go out and hang with her, you know? I actually think showing up for the fancy hair appointment wouldn't be bad, as she's known for working at this place and for being real good, etc., but I don't think any broad is worth a $60 mug. I better come out looking like Brad Pitt. We had a nice rapport last summer for those couple of days, but that was last summer. It would just be weird calling out of the blue. Any other thoughts? Is there some other way I might use her family members in my office to get around her?


-Dharma
 

DharmaBear

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 9, 2004
Messages
75
Reaction score
0
Bump - Any suggestions? What would you guys do in this situation?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,481
Reaction score
65
Location
Galt's Gulch
Originally posted by DharmaBear
Bump - Any suggestions? What would you guys do in this situation?
I'd promise myself that I would never make that mistake again AND go out and meet other women and leave this one behind.
 

muttley

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 4, 2005
Messages
236
Reaction score
2
maybe shes dating someone so it might not be worth the $60!
 

bobbob

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 18, 2004
Messages
261
Reaction score
1
Its better to do SOMETHING than to do nothing (i.e. "nexting" her).

Personally I'd rather take the risk of it not going the way you want it to go

than regretting it later for not doing ANYTHING.

Regret is 10X worse than rejection, if not more.

Does she work in a mall or something? Is it some place where you could walk by, just "happen" to see her through the window, then go in and say hi? You could then ask her for her number under the pretext of "catching up" or whatever. That way you don't have to spend the $60.

Plus if she likes you, maybe she gets nervous while cutting your hair and accidentally snips your ear off. You don't want to risk that ...

Good luck dude.
 
Top