"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Is This AFC Behavior, Or A Don Giovanni Move?

DharmaBear

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I met one of my coworker's sisters (actually, three of my coworkers are related to her) on a business trip in London last summer (I'm from Arizona). We really hit it off, but being the AFC I was at the time I made no serious moves. In hindsight, she was definitely giving off the signs, and at the very least I should have number closed (though we met and spent some time in London, we both live in the same city in Arizona and I could have called her).

Alright DJ's, please tell me if you think the following is AFC:

1) Should I try to get in touch with her now, "out of the blue," even though it's been like 7 months? Or, would that seem strange and desperate?

2) This girl is a hairstylist at a major salon here in town. If I do try to hook up with her, it seems a good move might be to set up a hair appointment with her, get the rapport going again (which I'm much better at now) while she's doing my hair, and then after the haircut close the deal (which I'm also better at). The only thing is: a standard cut at this fancy joint costs 60 bones! And, that's before the tip! Would this seem desperate and AFC to blow that much wad just to have a good opportunity to talk with this chick? Or, am I overanalyzing?

Please advise!


-Dharma
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Austin3.8

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(1) You would creep her out
(2) Paying $60 to TALK to a girl? omg

Seriously, ask your female coworkers if they go out and do anything anywhere. If they do tell them you are going and to make sure that this girl is there. After 7 months you need to take a more indirect approach otherwise you will raise all kinds of questions that dont need to be raised.
 

SELF-MASTERY

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These days I'm all for the honest approach.

Get friendly with your coworker and then tell her that you had a crush on the other chick, but you were to cowardly to make action, Ask for the chicks number, call her.

Saves you 60 bucks

Only do the above if you two really hit it off.

Any action you take now has a HUGE failure rate. You make come off as some desperate creep, but who cares, what she thinks of you doesn't change who you really are.

Go for it, if she's still on your mind.

My friend picked up his current gf, by doing something similar to what I described.
 

DharmaBear

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Thanks for your input. I agree - it might be creepy to just call and/or show up out of nowhere after 7 months. As for my coworkers, they are related to her, and they are all guys. So, they don't just go out and hang with her, you know? I actually think showing up for the fancy hair appointment wouldn't be bad, as she's known for working at this place and for being real good, etc., but I don't think any broad is worth a $60 mug. I better come out looking like Brad Pitt. We had a nice rapport last summer for those couple of days, but that was last summer. It would just be weird calling out of the blue. Any other thoughts? Is there some other way I might use her family members in my office to get around her?


-Dharma
 

DharmaBear

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Bump - Any suggestions? What would you guys do in this situation?
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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Originally posted by DharmaBear
Bump - Any suggestions? What would you guys do in this situation?
I'd promise myself that I would never make that mistake again AND go out and meet other women and leave this one behind.
 

muttley

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maybe shes dating someone so it might not be worth the $60!
 

bobbob

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Its better to do SOMETHING than to do nothing (i.e. "nexting" her).

Personally I'd rather take the risk of it not going the way you want it to go

than regretting it later for not doing ANYTHING.

Regret is 10X worse than rejection, if not more.

Does she work in a mall or something? Is it some place where you could walk by, just "happen" to see her through the window, then go in and say hi? You could then ask her for her number under the pretext of "catching up" or whatever. That way you don't have to spend the $60.

Plus if she likes you, maybe she gets nervous while cutting your hair and accidentally snips your ear off. You don't want to risk that ...

Good luck dude.
 
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