is this a yes or no

[JPlaya]

Me:Hey want to go to this place next week
her: hmm what day
Me: I guess any of these days
her: One of the days can't work cause of work, but the others prob can
Me:k so what about this day
her: As of right now I think that could work

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

Guess you'll find out when that day comes, you text her "See you at 6." And she either flakes or shows up.

Sure, it doesn't sound like she's excited. But I've been wrong before. No point in worrying now. You'll find out for sure when the day comes....

 

[r0cky]

Its your job to make her say yes.

 

[JPlaya]

did I do my job right

 

[AlexDP]

Why do you care so much?

 

[JPlaya]

cause I don't know whether it's a yes or no

 

[MartyMcFly]

Don't ask her about rescheduling if she flakes, if she has a legit reason and tells you before you're supposed to meet, and asks for another day then work with her. But if she flakes on the second chance too. No bueno. Move on. Nothing to see here, she made it obvious she isn't worth your time.

 

[49au]

reply: "It's no big deal, let's get together some time when you're more sure of your schedule." Demonstrate indifference.

She will either:

a) say "OK" (immediately demonstrating low IL). If she does, next her... though she will probably come back around out of curiosity

b) make a firm commitment - the ideal outcome

c) say something flaky like, "I want to go out with you, I'm still just not sure of my schedule". Again back off, go NC, and she will probably come around.

 

[Vice]

Why do you feel the need to take her to a restaraunt? Have you hung out with her before?

Is it because you're already going and want her to come along?

Or is it a "date" where she may feel uncomfortable because you give off a vibe that you're expecting something in return?

If it's the latter, I recommend taking her out for tea instead. It's cheaper and she can avoid feeling obligated to do something for you. Plus if she turns out to be weird you would have less than $5 invested instead of like $80.

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

reply: "It's no big deal, let's get together some time when you're more sure of your schedule."

She will either:

a) say "OK" (immediately demonstrating low IL). If she does, next her... though she will probably come back around out of curiosity

b) make a firm commitment - the ideal outcome

c) say something flaky like, "I want to go out with you, I'm still just not sure of my schedule". Again back off, go NC, and she will probably come around.

I wouldn't do that.

She already said "As of right now I think that could work." So that's it. That's her test. If she follows through. Good. If she flakes, then at least you have an answer.

Just ride it out and see if she sticks to the date. If she doesn't, then take the evidence of her flaking and low interest responses as a reason to NEXT.

 

[49au]

I can see both sides... but I'd prefer to determine low IL here immediately rather than sit around and tentatively tie up that night when he could be making other plans. And letting her know that you are tying up a night for tentative plans with her appears weak.

And honestly her answer sounds kind of weak to begin with. By showing indifference at the outset he may have a chance at raising her interest since he obviously isn't being needy about it and she may find that intriguing.


Case in point, I had a similar situation and I handled it the way I described above. I knew this girl was interested but due to her schedule she expected me to go out with her on like a 24 hour notice. I told her that I just couldn't do that, and maybe we could go out when things calmed down for her. She didn't like that. I went NC and she contacted me a few days later. I offered her one of two days to go out and she chose one. It went great. And her schedule remained constantly busy but I never heard an objection like that again.

 

[JPlaya]

what if I already know her

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

what if I already know her

What if you stop asking stupid questions and just wait to see if she flakes on your date or not.

 

[JPlaya]

Also I'm not sure if I made the date clear or not. She might think it's this week instead of the next. Also, what are the flake chances? Also, I don't think the girl has ever had a boyfriend or something

 

[mahoney]

this is why you should be more specific with a time/date and less vague, because you have a fear of actually asking or saying anything it means nothing is particularly clear

chances of her flaking are reasonably high - this is largely because you're not coming across particularly committed to any particular time or date either. never mind if she knows when this date is, i'm not all that sure you know when this date is yourself

if you had been a bit more clear about when this date was and that you were likely to actually turn up yourself, chances of her flaking might be a bit lower

i hope you plan to be able to say more than "hey" on this date

 

[JPlaya]

Okay, I told her this restaurant on this day. What else am I suppose to do and how do I fix this pronto. Please, this is my crush, I can't **** this up.

 

[MartyMcFly]

fix what? Why are you overanalyzing this? You set up a hangout. Relax man, she'll be freaked out if you act like this in person. Just have a good time.

 

[JPlaya]

but yall are saying she's going to flake. Should I remind her that it's next Thursday instead of tomorrow since I wasn't clear enough apparently.

 

[Iceberg]

Man, I hate to be the negative di*khead on the site, but you are a total spaz. Some people just shouldn't procreate.

Text her and say "Next thursday." It will neither increase nor decrease her interest in you. Either she likes you or she doesnt. This one goddamn text will not change that.


The End.

 

[mahoney]

you may well have been clear to her - you just weren't clear to us. hopefully you can remember where and when you have arranged to meet her

if you can remember where and when it was you arranged to meet her then the best thing to do is to go to the place you arranged to meet her at the time you arranged to meet her. this tends to work for me

(hopefully you will learn to be less vague in future. you don't seem the brightest of dudes it has to be said)