"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Is this a sign of attraction?

Canadian Catnip

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I sometimes hang out at a tea shop near where I live, about a block and a half walk. I sometimes go in there sit at the counter and drink my tea and read or journal.

I have a rule of not hitting on waitresses in shops. It's a rule I created because I have seen so many guys hitting on women that work in coffee shops, and I have seen so many of the waitresses roll their eyes after the guy left.

Anyway back to my question about attraction. There is a new women who works there, she started about two months ago. I came in there saw her, introduced myself and asked her name.

I went in there several times over the last two months and always was kind, said hello and minded my own business.

Well just recently this new waitress started smiling at me every time I came in there. She sometimes gives me sidelong glances and asks me what am I writing, etc.

I thought these were IOI's but according to my rule I don't hit on waitresses.

The strangest thing happened today. I went in there and had my tea and ordered a small pasta salad. It has no salad in it, just cold pasta in a bowl with some kind of seasoning on it.

I finish about half of it and as I get up to leave the waitress looks over and says would she like me to put the rest of the pasta in a container for me to take away. I said, no thanks. She looks at it and says, well I'll eat it then, or something near to that.

I smiled and left but after I got out the door I was thinking of how strange that was. She was willing to finish off a customers salad. She is not the type of women to eat leftovers, plus she can have any of the food that they serve in the store for free.

So, does anybody think this might have been an IOI? For me it seems to fit in with some of the other things I have seen her do, like smiling and glancing.

Again, I have no intention of hitting on her or asking her out. I simply want to get better at calibrating women's reactions.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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daygameguy

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MASSIVE IOI.

She was saying I think you have good genes, and you seem to be clean and free from diseases.

She also thinks you are a high valued guy, since you dont drool over the girls there.

She asks you about what you are doing, only because she is curious and it is her way of saying "I would like to communicate with you".

This is not a strip club. They have no ulterior motive in chatting up their customers. I'm pretty sure this is genuine interest.

DO NOT disappoint us. At least get a date with her dude. This one is easy.
 

tsmith2334

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I have a rule of not hitting on waitresses in shops. It's a rule I created because I have seen so many guys hitting on women that work in coffee shops, and I have seen so many of the waitresses roll their eyes after the guy left.
I agree 100%
Anyway back to my question about attraction. There is a new women who works there, she started about two months ago. I came in there saw her, introduced myself and asked her name.

I went in there several times over the last two months and always was kind, said hello and minded my own business.

Well just recently this new waitress started smiling at me every time I came in there. She sometimes gives me sidelong glances and asks me what am I writing, etc.



I thought these were IOI's but according to my rule I don't hit on waitresses.
I'd take it as an IOI.

The strangest thing happened today. I went in there and had my tea and ordered a small pasta salad. It has no salad in it, just cold pasta in a bowl with some kind of seasoning on it.

I finish about half of it and as I get up to leave the waitress looks over and says would she like me to put the rest of the pasta in a container for me to take away. I said, no thanks. She looks at it and says, well I'll eat it then, or something near to that.

I smiled and left but after I got out the door I was thinking of how strange that was. She was willing to finish off a customers salad. She is not the type of women to eat leftovers, plus she can have any of the food that they serve in the store for free.

So, does anybody think this might have been an IOI? For me it seems to fit in with some of the other things I have seen her do, like smiling and glancing.

Again, I have no intention of hitting on her or asking her out. I simply want to get better at calibrating women's reactions.
Umm.... hmmm. Maybe, but I'm leaning towards it probably isn't the IOI youthink it is.

She probably just naturally doesn't mind eating food another customer as left behind, given the customer isn't a total pig or crackhead.

So in other words, it's a sign that you don't turn her off... but I'm not sure if it's an indicator that you turn her on.

I had a waitress give me a cup of soup for free one time, and I didn't take it as an IOI. I thought she was just being extra nice and inherently friendly. Your situation strikes me similarly.

It's not a bad thing, I just don't find it to be a striking IOI like some others have said. But I could be wrong!
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Canadian Catnip

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I've had situations where I have known women and we have eaten with the same fork or used the same straw to drink or eaten off of the same plate, etc.

I always seemed to think that doing things like that shows a comfort level with each other. I would not do things like that if I was not attracted to a women.

I was thinking that this may also fall into this category.
 

daygameguy

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Stop thinking so much, assume attraction, give yourself the benefit of doubt, and go get her man. Post some good hired gun game.
 

Aragon034

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TBH i'd be a little creeped out.

This reminds of of seinfeld. the one where Jerry accidentally eats the peanuts (or was it almonds?) that his girlfriend spits out.

It's like.. 'Ok. you're comfortable with my body, but WTF?!"

I'd take it as an IOI, but not necessarily act on it :|
 

actionjaxson

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come on man of course she wants your ****. a random waitress that always smiles at you and talks to you even though shes not serving you. she wants you make a move before she thinks your gay.
 
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