"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Is this a sign of attraction?

Canadian Catnip

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I sometimes hang out at a tea shop near where I live, about a block and a half walk. I sometimes go in there sit at the counter and drink my tea and read or journal.

I have a rule of not hitting on waitresses in shops. It's a rule I created because I have seen so many guys hitting on women that work in coffee shops, and I have seen so many of the waitresses roll their eyes after the guy left.

Anyway back to my question about attraction. There is a new women who works there, she started about two months ago. I came in there saw her, introduced myself and asked her name.

I went in there several times over the last two months and always was kind, said hello and minded my own business.

Well just recently this new waitress started smiling at me every time I came in there. She sometimes gives me sidelong glances and asks me what am I writing, etc.

I thought these were IOI's but according to my rule I don't hit on waitresses.

The strangest thing happened today. I went in there and had my tea and ordered a small pasta salad. It has no salad in it, just cold pasta in a bowl with some kind of seasoning on it.

I finish about half of it and as I get up to leave the waitress looks over and says would she like me to put the rest of the pasta in a container for me to take away. I said, no thanks. She looks at it and says, well I'll eat it then, or something near to that.

I smiled and left but after I got out the door I was thinking of how strange that was. She was willing to finish off a customers salad. She is not the type of women to eat leftovers, plus she can have any of the food that they serve in the store for free.

So, does anybody think this might have been an IOI? For me it seems to fit in with some of the other things I have seen her do, like smiling and glancing.

Again, I have no intention of hitting on her or asking her out. I simply want to get better at calibrating women's reactions.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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daygameguy

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MASSIVE IOI.

She was saying I think you have good genes, and you seem to be clean and free from diseases.

She also thinks you are a high valued guy, since you dont drool over the girls there.

She asks you about what you are doing, only because she is curious and it is her way of saying "I would like to communicate with you".

This is not a strip club. They have no ulterior motive in chatting up their customers. I'm pretty sure this is genuine interest.

DO NOT disappoint us. At least get a date with her dude. This one is easy.
 

tsmith2334

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I have a rule of not hitting on waitresses in shops. It's a rule I created because I have seen so many guys hitting on women that work in coffee shops, and I have seen so many of the waitresses roll their eyes after the guy left.
I agree 100%
Anyway back to my question about attraction. There is a new women who works there, she started about two months ago. I came in there saw her, introduced myself and asked her name.

I went in there several times over the last two months and always was kind, said hello and minded my own business.

Well just recently this new waitress started smiling at me every time I came in there. She sometimes gives me sidelong glances and asks me what am I writing, etc.



I thought these were IOI's but according to my rule I don't hit on waitresses.
I'd take it as an IOI.

The strangest thing happened today. I went in there and had my tea and ordered a small pasta salad. It has no salad in it, just cold pasta in a bowl with some kind of seasoning on it.

I finish about half of it and as I get up to leave the waitress looks over and says would she like me to put the rest of the pasta in a container for me to take away. I said, no thanks. She looks at it and says, well I'll eat it then, or something near to that.

I smiled and left but after I got out the door I was thinking of how strange that was. She was willing to finish off a customers salad. She is not the type of women to eat leftovers, plus she can have any of the food that they serve in the store for free.

So, does anybody think this might have been an IOI? For me it seems to fit in with some of the other things I have seen her do, like smiling and glancing.

Again, I have no intention of hitting on her or asking her out. I simply want to get better at calibrating women's reactions.
Umm.... hmmm. Maybe, but I'm leaning towards it probably isn't the IOI youthink it is.

She probably just naturally doesn't mind eating food another customer as left behind, given the customer isn't a total pig or crackhead.

So in other words, it's a sign that you don't turn her off... but I'm not sure if it's an indicator that you turn her on.

I had a waitress give me a cup of soup for free one time, and I didn't take it as an IOI. I thought she was just being extra nice and inherently friendly. Your situation strikes me similarly.

It's not a bad thing, I just don't find it to be a striking IOI like some others have said. But I could be wrong!
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Canadian Catnip

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I've had situations where I have known women and we have eaten with the same fork or used the same straw to drink or eaten off of the same plate, etc.

I always seemed to think that doing things like that shows a comfort level with each other. I would not do things like that if I was not attracted to a women.

I was thinking that this may also fall into this category.
 

daygameguy

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Stop thinking so much, assume attraction, give yourself the benefit of doubt, and go get her man. Post some good hired gun game.
 

Aragon034

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TBH i'd be a little creeped out.

This reminds of of seinfeld. the one where Jerry accidentally eats the peanuts (or was it almonds?) that his girlfriend spits out.

It's like.. 'Ok. you're comfortable with my body, but WTF?!"

I'd take it as an IOI, but not necessarily act on it :|
 

actionjaxson

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come on man of course she wants your ****. a random waitress that always smiles at you and talks to you even though shes not serving you. she wants you make a move before she thinks your gay.
 
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