Is this a s**t test?

[jts3443]

I wound up reconnecting with an old hookup about 5-6 weeks ago, and weve been seeing each other pretty frequently. Her interest level was high but this week shes been acting mildly aloof. I brushed it off, than last night she text me saying she was at a free show with a few friends, told me where and asked me to join her. I told her i had to get ready and figure out what i was doing with my night (saturday) than id get back to her. I text her back a bit later but the show was ending, she told me she was with friends and family but didn't have set plans after. I told her lets get a drink and she agreed. I called her after i was done getting ready and she basically said she was going out to a bar after and wanted me to join her and her friends. I told her to give me a call when she figured out where they were going, than got off the phone. About 30 minutes later she text me and said "let me know...." i said "you never told me where you were going" and all she said was "true". I replied "thats necessary info" and all she said back was "youre right". At this point I was over it and made plans with other people and didnt respond to her last dumb text. She wrote me about 30 minutes later when i didnt respond just saying "ok....", I was already headed out at this point so I resonded a bit later saying " i wound up going out with some friends. Where did you guys end up?" And her response was just "for sure" as if she was pissed. Either she was so spaced out she didnt realize she never told me a location, or shes playing some kind of game where she wanted me to ask/beg her for her location. As if her one word answer were actually passive aggressive "give me attention" texts. Is this some kind of "**** test" to see "how interested i am" ? This is a bit absurd. Ive never had a girl invite me out, not give me a location than get upset when I didnt meet her at unknown spot. Thoughts? How should I proceed? I was going to just call her up today like nothing happened.


P.S. me her and a group of friends got a beach house for the night last week, and while she still initiates contact with me, shes been acting a bit off since than. I feel like since than shes been trying to get me to chase her or give her attention. I feel she may be developing feelings and wants me to chase so she knows im as interest. Shes mentioned before that shes looking for something more serious right now and not just sex. I know from her friends she's had some past relationship issues (clingers, cheaters, etc.) A few weeks back she drunkenly admitted to me that she thought I was a bit of a "man *****", didn't take her seriously, and took advantage of her. She immediately apologized the next morning.

 

[devilkingx2]

I wound up reconnecting with an old hookup about 5-6 weeks ago, and weve been seeing each other pretty frequently. Her interest level was high but this week shes been acting mildly aloof. I brushed it off, than last night she text me saying she was at a free show with a few friends, told me where and asked me to join her. I told her i had to get ready and figure out what i was doing with my night (saturday) than id get back to her. I text her back a bit later but the show was ending, she told me she was with friends and family but didn't have set plans after. I told her lets get a drink and she agreed. I called her after i was done getting ready and she basically said she was going out to a bar after and wanted me to join her and her friends. I told her to give me a call when she figured out where they were going, than got off the phone. About 30 minutes later she text me and said "let me know...." i said "you never told me where you were going" and all she said was "true". I replied "thats necessary info" and all she said back was "youre right". At this point I was over it and made plans with other people and didnt respond to her last dumb text. She wrote me about 30 minutes later when i didnt respond just saying "ok....", I was already headed out at this point so I resonded a bit later saying " i wound up going out with some friends. Where did you guys end up?" And her response was just "for sure" as if she was pissed. Either she was so spaced out she didnt realize she never told me a location, or shes playing some kind of game where she wanted me to ask/beg her for her location. As if her one word answer were actually passive aggressive "give me attention" texts. Is this some kind of "**** test" to see "how interested i am" ? This is a bit absurd. Ive never had a girl invite me out, not give me a location than get upset when I didnt meet her at unknown spot. Thoughts? How should I proceed? I was going to just call her up today like nothing happened..

she seems like a b!tch who was fvcking around with you the whole time. i doubt she was upset, it was just part of the game. she got drunk and decided to troll you for fun

P.S. me her and a group of friends got a beach house for the night last week, and while she still initiates contact with me, shes been acting a bit off since than. I feel like since than shes been trying to get me to chase her or give her attention. I feel she may be developing feelings and wants me to chase so she knows im as interest. Shes mentioned before that shes looking for something more serious right now and not just sex. I know from her friends she's had some past relationship issues (clingers, cheaters, etc.) A few weeks back she drunkenly admitted to me that she thought I was a bit of a "man *****", didn't take her seriously, and took advantage of her. She immediately apologized the next morning.

well at least she's honest when she's drunk.

she uh, kinda comes of as damaged goods who got pumped and dumped a whole bunch of times and has like a mini-PTSD about it.

 

[RangerMIke]

Not a sh!t test. She's not trying to get you to do something you do not want to do.

She just has low interest in you. Back off, go after other women and ignore this chick.

 

[jts3443]

she seems like a b!tch who was fvcking around with you the whole time. i doubt she was upset, it was just part of the game. she got drunk and decided to troll you for fun

Thats what i thought for a minute but that wouldnt make sense. She gave me the location of the concert and asked me to meet her, i had just gotten in from the gym and couldnt get there until the concert was over. And why continue to hit me up and ask me if im coming?

Not a sh!t test. She's not trying to get you to do something you do not want to do.

She just has low interest in you. Back off, go after other women and ignore this chick.

What makes you so sure its low interest? Like i said she initiated convo and asked me to meet her at the concert and offered me a free ticket. Why do that if she has low interest? And why continue to text me and ask me if im coming? I understand the later behaviour reads low interest but why would she bother offering me a ticket to meet her family and friends at a concert if interest is low. It was only once they hit the bars she started acting aloof, and she still text me asking me to let her know if I was coming. Shes gotten upset over petty stuff before like me not calling her. She invited me out and i didnt jump all over it, couldnt her passive agressive short answers be the "give me more attention/chase me" type?

 

[dude99]

She wants you to be one of her orbiters. She is looking for attention.

 

[RangerMIke]

What makes you so sure its low interest? Like i said she initiated convo and asked me to meet her at the concert and offered me a free ticket. Why do that if she has low interest? And why continue to text me and ask me if im coming? I understand the later behaviour reads low interest but why would she bother offering me a ticket to meet her family and friends at a concert if interest is low. It was only once they hit the bars she started acting aloof, and she still text me asking me to let her know if I was coming. Shes gotten upset over petty stuff before like me not calling her. She invited me out and i didnt jump all over it, couldnt her passive agressive short answers be the "give me more attention/chase me" type?

Women are emotional beings, they drift in the directions there emotions take them. They go hot and cold... they like attention, and when you are not giving it to them, they do things to get it back... but once they have your attention again... THEN pay attention to what they do. What you described in this post we have all seen before... just a couple a weeks ago I had a woman ask me out after I had moved on because she was making things hard. So what happened.... she stood me up.... she ended up having to go out of town and 'forgot' to tell me.

So what should I do... should I say "Gee, she asked ME out, clearly that is HIGH interest." or should I say "Hmmmm, she forgot to tell me she had to go out of town.... that seems like LOW interest." DO NOT be confused by instances of high interest... because a women that LIKES you will not confuse you, confusion = low interest. If you find yourself in a situation where you are not sure where you stand.... THAT is low interest.

 

[Reykhel]

You're way over analyzing AND you are too reactionary.....

She said she wanted to see you........that's enough you need to tell yourself about interest level.........Now listen to this.....if you wanted to
see her, it was up to you to make it happen......."nobody gonna give you what you want, you gotta take it"

If you wanted that *****, you should have pursued it............but what happened? You put too much fvcking importance into
her texts and you became reactionary to her texts........INSTEAD OF BEING PROACTIVE....

What's proactive? .......I feel like taking that puzzy, therefor I'm going to take it.............GAME my friend, is overcoming obstacles and really it's imposing your frame into the interaction......

In this situation, the environment controlled you.......

 

[marmel75]

You're way over analyzing AND you are too reactionary.....

She said she wanted to see you........that's enough you need to tell yourself about interest level.........Now listen to this.....if you wanted to
see her, it was up to you to make it happen......."nobody gonna give you what you want, you gotta take it"

If you wanted that *****, you should have pursued it............but what happened? You put too much fvcking importance into
her texts and you became reactionary to her texts........INSTEAD OF BEING PROACTIVE....

What's proactive? .......I feel like taking that puzzy, therefor I'm going to take it.............GAME my friend, is overcoming obstacles and really it's imposing your frame into the interaction......

In this situation, the environment controlled you.......

^^^^This x 100

 

[devilkingx2]

Thats what i thought for a minute but that wouldnt make sense. She gave me the location of the concert and asked me to meet her, i had just gotten in from the gym and couldnt get there until the concert was over. And why continue to hit me up and ask me if im coming?


What makes you so sure its low interest? Like i said she initiated convo and asked me to meet her at the concert and offered me a free ticket. Why do that if she has low interest? And why continue to text me and ask me if im coming? I understand the later behaviour reads low interest but why would she bother offering me a ticket to meet her family and friends at a concert if interest is low. It was only once they hit the bars she started acting aloof, and she still text me asking me to let her know if I was coming. Shes gotten upset over petty stuff before like me not calling her. She invited me out and i didnt jump all over it, couldnt her passive agressive short answers be the "give me more attention/chase me" type?

attention is her game, which is why that's all she seems to want from you

 

[jts3443]

If you wanted that *****, you should have pursued it............but what happened? You put too much fvcking importance into
her texts and you became reactionary to her texts........INSTEAD OF BEING PROACTIVE....

What's proactive? .......I feel like taking that puzzy, therefor I'm going to take it.............GAME my friend, is overcoming obstacles and really it's imposing your fram into the interaction......

This absouletly makes the most sense. I was being non-proactive mostly because i had other options that night and wasnt sure what i wanted to do, but that probably relayed indecisiveness and insecurity on my part, it had been almost an hour from when i initially told her id met her for a drink and than responded. If I wanted it i should have just pursued it with confidence. I just didnt want this girl to think now that weve been talking for a bit, that ill just jump to meet her anytime, which backfired on me. Youre right she asked to see me a few times and that should have been enough. I'm usually very proactive/aggressive with this girl and its worked so idk why I changed it up, i just didnt want her thinking i would chase her around, so i went out with friend instead, again thats letting her control the frame. I overanalyzed and lost control of the situation, instead of just saying yes ill meet you or no i have other plans, and im sure my wishywashyness was a turn off. Ill learn from my mistake, but since whats done is done, should i just give this girl a call tomorrow inviting her out like nothing happened or should I back off for a bit? I havent seen her in a week so i feel it may be fading after the other night

 

[resilient]

DO NOT be confused by instances of high interest... because a women that LIKES you will not confuse you, confusion = low interest. If you find yourself in a situation where you are not sure where you stand.... THAT is low interest.

Good stuff on low IL and maintaining frame/respect, man. As always, she should be watching her actions to make sure what she says and the way she acts does not risk pushing the DJ away. Not the other way around, where the DJ is tripping wondering where he stands with his plate.

 

[jts3443]

Good stuff on low IL and maintaining frame/respect, man.

Yea, the low IL/frame stuff is great, but i agree with what Reykhel said. She asked to see me and that should have been enough. I overanalyzed her texts instead of just pursuing and taking what I wanted. I could have met up with this girl, but instead of pursuing, I overanalyzed myself into a ditch.

 

[Building_and_Loan]

You sound like you're only taking the advice you want to hear, rather than facing the truth. The truth lies in what RangerMike said above. It's pretty evident that after her week of acting mildly aloof and then giving you vague, short answers the other night, that her interest has fallen from where it was.

This isn't a sh1t test to find out how interested you are. She knows you want her.

 

[jts3443]

You sound like you're only taking the advice you want to hear, rather than facing the truth. The truth lies in what RangerMike said above. It's pretty evident that after her week of acting mildly aloof and then giving you vague, short answers the other night, that her interest has fallen from where it was.

This isn't a sh1t test to find out how interested you are. She knows you want her.

No I totally get what ranger mike was saying and typically I agree, im not delusional, i just dont think im getting the story across clear enough. By "mildly aloof, i mean she only initiated contact with me 3 times this week as opposed to the normal 5-6. That also happened the week after we had sex for the first time, we didnt talk for for days, than she text me all pissed off for not contact her for four days after ****ing her. Shes insecure and is the type that needs validation when she gets intimate with someone.

Now the other night she messaged me the location of a concert she was at offered me a free ticket and asked me to meet her and her family, sorry but a girl doesnt tell you to come meet her and her family at a concert with free ticket if her interest is low. She then continued to ask me over the next hour if i was coming. It was only when i didnt answer for an hour and decided to go out with friends instead that she started giving me the short answers, and at that point theyd left the concert. It seems to me that she was more pissed i didnt respond to her invite, and chose option B. She also saw snapchats of me out with other people, which probably ruffled her feathers. If she had just told me to meet her somewhere than flaked id see it as low interest, but she didnt, she told me to meet her somewhere than started acting vague after i didnt give her a solid answer. If id driven 10 minutes to the concert I could have walked in and met her and alld be fine, but i didnt, i led her on for an hour, gave her maybes and than went out with other people, which is why im buying into what raykhel said, i didnt pursue what she was offering and that either annoyed her or sent her into autoreject

 

[devilkingx2]

Now the other night she messaged me the location of a concert she was at offered me a free ticket and asked me to meet her and her family, sorry but a girl doesnt tell you to come meet her and her family at a concert with free ticket if her interest is low. She then continued to ask me over the next hour if i was coming. It was only when i didnt answer for an hour and decided to go out with friends instead that she started giving me the short answers, and at that point theyd left the concert. It seems to me that she was more pissed i didnt respond to her invite, and chose option B. She also saw snapchats of me out with other people, which probably ruffled her feathers. If she had just told me to meet her somewhere than flaked id see it as low interest, but she didnt, she told me to meet her somewhere than started acting vague after i didnt give her a solid answer. If id driven 10 minutes to the concert I could have walked in and met her and alld be fine, but i didnt, i led her on for an hour, gave her maybes and than went out with other people, which is why im buying into what raykhel said, i didnt pursue what she was offering and that either annoyed her or sent her into autoreject

sounds like you botched it by mistake, lets hope she's the forgiving type or you're done here.

 

[jts3443]

sounds like you botched it by mistake, lets hope she's the forgiving type or you're done here.

Only one way to find out