"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Is this a "next"?

J

johnny_dangerously

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This is a set-up by a buddy who thinks me & this woman would be perfect together. She's a single mom, which I'm not wild about.

I cut short a very awkward 1st phone convo with a suggestion that we reduce the weirdness factor by moving it to the real world--i.e. coffee date after work next monday. I got the infamous definite-maybe-with-callback-to-verify, & we all know what that means. With a cold pickup, it means 1 chance in 1000 that you will ever go on that date. But this is not a cold pickup. Does that change anything?

Is this worth 1 more call next week, or is it NEXT! time? I have 2 more dates this week, so it's not like I'm terribly worried. But I'm one of these revenge-oriented types who's apt to use the power of NEXT! frivolously, so I wanted to get a sanity-check from the experienced DJ's.

Thanks...
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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penkitten

penkitten

Master Don Juan
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dude give the single mother a chance to find a sitter and collect her thoughts.

if you dont hear from her in about a week, then check her off as a next.

you jump the gun too fast.
 
S

Smooth Player 056

Master Don Juan
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give her a call next week make a date........now the ball is in her court. Id give her a chance.




- Smooth Player 056 -
Founder and Creator of the HSDJBC/ Contest
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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J

Johnnie5

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as per penkitten , single moms gotta organise babysitters

gotta plan thinsg ahead , most single moms arent looking for a father replacement , just omeone to hang out with and have a real life with

enjoy it while you can and dont promise anything you dont want to deliver
 
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