"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Is this a good thing?

DJx420

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Okay, so basically theres this girl that i've been hooking up with (pretty much 3 nights a week -- mostly drunken nights) for the past 4 weeks. Last week we were at a happy hour and her and her friends all came back (we weren't drunk) to chill and smoke and what not. I for sure thought I was going to get some but of course not (she left with all of her friends). I chalked this up as a good thing -- as her wanting to spend some "sober" time with me but wasn't ready to start hooking up soberly yet.

So this past weekend she left to go home. She got back Monday and when I spoke to her I said a bunch of her friends and my friends were going to be playing some beer games and for her to stop by. She said she had some work but maybe she'll come for a little. Basically the same thing happened again. She came, her friends were here. We drank a little, talked a little, then she went on her merry way with her friends.

Once again I can either do 1 of 2 things...Chalk it up as a good thing (her wanting to spend some time with me) or pretty much admit that I didn't pull the trigger and kind of fvcked up.

This wouldn't be bothering me so much if it wasn't simultaneously happening to both myself and my good friend (who conveniently starting hooking up with my girl's best friend a few weeks ago as well). Shes been doing basically the same thing mine has and I want to make a little sense of it.

Thanks boys.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Iceberg

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Not to break balls or anything, but how is it a good thing when someone you hook up with stops hooking up with you?

Just from how I'm envisioning this situation in my head...you're saying you were hooking up with her 3 nights a week, and now when you see her, there's no more hooking up. I don't see that as seeking sober time together. It just seems like you're not hooking up anymore.

Also, a sidenote: Seeing a girlfriend 3 nights a week is fine. I wouldn't invest that much time in a chick I've been messing around with for only a month. Too much availability.

You want a conclusive answer to this event? Next time you see her, press her for the hookup. Either you'll get some booty out of it, or she'll explain herself and you can NEXT her.
 

DJx420

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Nono, I guess I didn't explain myself well enough. We don't really hookup sober. I mean sure, when she sleeps over we'll fool around in the morning every now and then but other than that its mostly when we go out at night. Its a weird situation were in right now because I've been chasing this girl for a long time (no not one-itis -- just always knew that I wanted her) and finally shes returning the feelings.

With that being said, her coming over with her friends to hang out "soberly" can seem to come off as her wanting to spend time with me (but at the same time not ready to move our relationship into sober hooking up). I mean thats what I got out of it -- then again thats what I want to believe.

Also an update for this thread's purpose: She slept over last night and we hooked up then..
 

sodbuster

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She's trying to move you into a "relationship" where you are her BF,not a guy who f7cks her
 

DJx420

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You can put that together soley from the information that I provided you with?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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sodbuster

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When someone asks her about you do you suppose she wants to say "he's my BF" or "he's just a guy I know- when we get drunk,we screw". Most women want the first,not the second;the slut label isn't something as admired as the stud label. They WANT the sex-just not the name of slut.

I had a drunk FB, when I was asked if L and I were dating I said,"we just get drunk and screw" This idiot asked another friend of mine "are you dating Deb or do you just get drunk and screw?" in front of her, She WAS a slut[and he was just getting drunk and screwing],but they started dating right then-he ended up married to her.
 
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