Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Is this a chump?

R

Rhino22

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My ex left me for some gothic dude that right away started making paintings for her. I guess he also pays for her gas (fills up her tank) every time she goes out to see him. He only lives like 15 mins away) Is this dude a chump or what? And she tried to tell me that she was the dominant one in our relationship.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Gangster Of Love

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Rhino22 said:
My ex left me for some gothic dude that right away started making paintings for her. I guess he also pays for her gas (fills up her tank) every time she goes out to see him. He only lives like 15 mins away) Is this dude a chump or what? And she tried to tell me that she was the dominant one in our relationship.
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She thought he provided more value than you did, at that point where she broke it off with you.

There must be some other qualities she sees in him, besides the paintings and the free gas.

It is possible that money is not even an issue for him, and she likes his generosity, or the fact that he chooses to fill up her tank, without worrying about it. You know, that can be an attractive thing. Doesn't always have to mean he's a chump. He might well have that "I don't have to buy her gas to come see me, but I choose to, and it doesn't break me or face me to do so" type of attitude to go along with the rest of his personality.

If she's even suggesting she was dominant in your relationship, it is time to pay attention to what she's saying. If it even has to be brought up or is up for debate, she had a lot more control in the relationship than she would like to have over a man.

You would be very lucky to find out exactly what you were lacking that caused her to loose interest and what he has that attracted her to him. I doubt she would tell you exactly what it was, so don't worry about it. Right it sounds like sour grapes, and understandingly so, but attempt to look back and see what was it that she initially saw and you, and what did you do to cause her to loose interest. And don't repeat it in your next relationship.
 
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Rhino22

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Um , well she said I wasn't bold enough. Ok, well neither was she! I think we are different with different people. Her mom was freakin weird anyway and had alot to do with our breakup.
 
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