Is there any De-Alpha book?

[Glassguy]

Nothing is perfect. There will always be problems. Even men who cling to these red pill rules will come in here and gripe about their experiences.

What’s most important is knowing how to properly deal with, overcome and move on when things don’t work out, especially when you’re hurting and your logic is comprised so much that you make dumb decisions that always lead to more pain.

I’m not the mushy romantic type at all. Women often complain about that. But I’m also not afraid to be a little vulnerable too, and I’m not afraid because I know how to and I’m prepaired to deal with it properly when/if the time comes.

Good explanation and spot on.

@Pajeet Singh

I am not a fan of PUA tactics and I dont feel this forum is a PUA site. We all have different views, goals, end game, etc when it comes to dating. We also have our own niche on how we do well with women and all interactions with human beings (business, relationships, etc).

While I think that it is extremely important to have red pill tendencies but you should also not live on the edge of either side of the spectrum.

If you follow a red pill mentality and really focus on the following things, this is a pretty easy game:

1.) Put yourself first. Do things that make YOU happy. Dont be a doormat but also dont be afraid to put yourself in a position if a good opportunity comes along (with women or life in general). You do have to take some risk in life to get rewarded. Make sure they are educated risks.

2.) Always be committed to improving yourself. This is a never ending journey. Its a marathon and not a sprint. Health, career, mentality, psychologically, financial......You should be searching constantly for ways to self improve.

The main reason why men fail with women (IMO) is they put finding a woman or women FIRST on their priority list. That is their downfall. They act like finding a woman is a life or death situation because they FEAR being alone (as you stated in your post above).

Guess what? Your problem isnt finding women. Your problem isnt that the information you have learned on here isnt working.

Your problem is you havent found out how to make yourself happy and that is nobody's job but your own. Until you do that, it will not matter what you do as you will always be relying on other people or something else to entertain you and provide your happiness.

When your goal is to find a woman, you will be sorely let down in life. You will be depressed and alone.

Instead make YOUR life better by working on yourself. The happier you are, the better life you build and the path that takes you there IS attractive to women.

Remember that attracting more women and better quality women is a result of the work that you put into yourself. Its a byproduct but by no means should finding a woman EVER be the #1 goal.

And its not just women. Human beings by nature let other humans down. You need to improve yourself, rely on yourself to make your own happiness and find your purpose.

 

[logicallefty]

OP I had your exact thoughts not all that long ago. I've never considered myself an alpha male per se but if it were a sliding scale from alpha to beta I would put myself more towards the alpha side but not all the way. But yeah I sat back and reflected on myself and ompared myself to all of those "happily married" couples I know thinking "wow, why can't I have that?". Has the red pill ruined me forever? This was a few years ago I did this reflection. Here is an update from some couples from then to today:

• My step brothers wife just cheated on him, divorcing soon.
• Another one of my female cousins cheated on her hubby of 20 years and is leaving him.
• My other friend caught his wife nearly cheating in some texts.
• My other friend is miserable because he has a wife who wont work or do anything and is a compulsive hoarder and spends every dime he makes before it his the bank.
• My friend in Texas cheated on his wife cuz shes stopped having sex but can't leave her cuz she don't work and will clean him up
• My sister cheated on her husband and he took her back, but I know by brother in law isn't happy
• My other coworker got married and just from the way he talks, I can tell she wears the pants in the house 500%, and he's what most folks would call "alpha" by looks. Big buff guy. Could get any woman he wanted. And I mean any..
• Another coworker (police officer) had a girlfriend who accused him of some stuff and he lost his badge for a few weeks until it all got sorted out. Luckily it did in his favor.
• Oh wait, my friend in Tennessee is still happily married. No issues that *I* know of. Found one!!

So be careful thinking the grass is greener. You may think its green inside there, but when the doors close the grass inside can be rotting and dieing and you don't even know it.

 

[andreihaha]

OP I had your exact thoughts not all that long ago. I've never considered myself an alpha male per se but if it were a sliding scale from alpha to beta I would put myself more towards the alpha side but not all the way. But yeah I sat back and reflected on myself and ompared myself to all of those "happily married" couples I know thinking "wow, why can't I have that?". Has the red pill ruined me forever? This was a few years ago I did this reflection. Here is an update from some couples from then to today:

• My step brothers wife just cheated on him, divorcing soon.
• Another one of my female cousins cheated on her hubby of 20 years and is leaving him.
• My other friend caught his wife nearly cheating in some texts.
• My other friend is miserable because he has a wife who wont work or do anything and is a compulsive hoarder and spends every dime he makes before it his the bank.
• My friend in Texas cheated on his wife cuz shes stopped having sex but can't leave her cuz she don't work and will clean him up
• My sister cheated on her husband and he took her back, but I know by brother in law isn't happy
• My other coworker got married and just from the way he talks, I can tell she wears the pants in the house 500%, and he's what most folks would call "alpha" by looks. Big buff guy. Could get any woman he wanted. And I mean any..
• Another coworker (police officer) had a girlfriend who accused him of some stuff and he lost his badge for a few weeks until it all got sorted out. Luckily it did in his favor.
• Oh wait, my friend in Tennessee is still happily married. No issues that *I* know of. Found one!!

So be careful thinking the grass is greener. You may think its green inside there, but when the doors close the grass inside can be rotting and dieing and you don't even know it.

God bless America!
I mean it, it really seems to need it a lot more than other countries right now.

 

[logicallefty]

God bless America!
I mean it, it really seems to need it a lot more than other countries right now.

This is what's going on right now. It's not good. Even the older generation of people like 60+ are finally admitting that the younger people have a real problem on their hands. For a while, they wouldn't admit that and they thought that our lives as younger people was not as difficult as their days when the man worked and the woman stayed home and cooked and cleaned and wasn't on social media and was a loyal wife. Now though, the older people are starting to see "you young folks got a real problem on your hands"

 

[flowtheory]

Couple facts in your post:

I am so done. 10 years of reading PUA material, “how to be alpha”, “how to attract girls”, “how to self improve”, have taken toll on me now. This is not for everyone. Most of us started when we wanted one single permanent partner. When we failed we started this PUA journey. Most other starts when they are cheated on.

10 years of the reading material you chose yielded you your current results. You're not happy with these short term solutions as they don't yield positive long-term dividends.
What are some worthwhile reading materials which you can invest your time and attention in, which arecentered around substance and profundity, that isn't in blog form?

I started because I was cheated on by my first partner. Ever since I have “attracted” successfully a lot of girls. But that defensive instinct to not get cheated again made all relationships short term, selfish, based on distrust rather than on trust. And most importantly I attracted only those who were broken themselves or I broke them.

This is no coincidence. What is within us, is eventually seen outside of us. Our external world is comprised of what inhabits our thoughts. And what our thoughts are, trigger our course of action(s). Your relationships in an intimate realm have been laden with toxicity because of your existing hurt which hasn't yet been dealt with properly and at its root.

I want to have little and feel good. I want to have peace. This is broken land.

This denotes that you are not in possession of these. This is a positive beacuse now you at least have an aim. List 5 things that you believe will yield you these qualities; substantial or non.

My friend has a love. They paired very early and non of them were broken at that time and they have maintained their relationship for the longest I know. No one reads the other when he or she is talking to someone else. None of them doubt each other.

Maybe your friend has some wise words for you in terms of trust and understanding that; since I assume he/she knows you well and can be more objective than you are able to.

please give some source on “bonding”, “trusting”

Most everything you're seeking in this aim is found within you. You're hurt. Because it was once there. However you chose to relinquish it when an agreed expectation was not met.

If you want the best advice, personalized specifically for you, read your threads and posts and offer some words to yourself. You know what's best for you. Choose your most meaningful path. my guess is that It's not trust with another you're seeking, It's unwavering belief and trust within yourself.
Right now you sense you're not in alignment. This is why you're out of sorts.