"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Is there a point where it's too late to make things sexual?

Sevinup

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So, there's this girl I'm trying to get with (Let's call her HB1), but I'm not 100% sure it's going to work out. She also has a friend (HB2) I'd like to get with, but it wouldn't be possible to get with both of them, or at least during the same time period.

I've hung out with HB2 several times, but I haven't tried anything with her, because I'd rather get with her hotter friend (HB1) first. I've done some flirting, some kino, etc, but it could easily be interpreted as a just friends relationship. I haven't made myself seem too interested, but I'm sure she's thought about it as a possibility. She's thrown a few IOIs my way, but like I said I'm reluctant to act on it just yet.

My question is this: is there ever a point where if you don't make a move, it probably won't happen? Like if I blow her off too much and she loses what interest she might have, is it hopeless or would a bit of seducing bring it back? I've been hanging out with HB2 instead because HB1 has been out of town. Should I just stop seeing HB2 until I see how it's gonna work out, or does it really matter?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Chamber36

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Well I'm no pro, but usually if you pass the point where you thought you should have made a move, and the girl is still interested, you got yourself a girl with guaranteed high IL. Just make those girls wait as long as they are willing to.
 

Mike32ct

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When a chick is interested in you, it is usually a limited time offer. However, we have no evidence to suggest that it's too late yet. You might still have a chance with HB2. I would make a move on her because she is the one more interested in YOU. Plus you can make her hotter friend jealous.
 

DonJuanit0

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yes
 
R

Rubato

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Yes. There are few unlimited opportunities in life and even fewer with women. As Mike said, interest is always a limited time offer. If interest is high initially, you may have more room to screw up and may get a second chance.

However

If you're starting to worry about whether you've waited too long to escalate, you probably have. There is only one remedy for this... attempt escalation and find out whether you actually did wait too long.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Zerro

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Mike32ct said:
When a chick is interested in you, it is usually a limited time offer.
This is true, but it's not always a one-time offer. If it is then she wasn't that interested to begin with. A girl can have cyclical interest where it starts out strong, wanes when you waited to long, then comes back again weeks or months later but this assumes that a) you run into her frequently and b) you've avoided being too friendly and stayed out of the friendzone.
 

ArcBound

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Zerro said:
This is true, but it's not always a one-time offer. If it is then she wasn't that interested to begin with. A girl can have cyclical interest where it starts out strong, wanes when you waited to long, then comes back again weeks or months later but this assumes that a) you run into her frequently and b) you've avoided being too friendly and stayed out of the friendzone.
I agree with this except with part a).

I hit it off with a girl pretty good 2 years ago and I messaged her and she was down to hang out. This is after not speaking for 2 years...
 

FairShake

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Ok, what is wrong with the AFC youth of today? You guys seem to be completely unaware of the easiest way to seal the deal (or last year's deal) in the world.

It's called liquor. It works.
 

PapiChulo

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No time limit for high value men that are always in demand. The only reason it's a limited time offer for the average dudes is the amount of options women have. While you are late, the other guy comes and smittens the woman and you become old news (boring). If two people have sexual chemistry there is no time limit in my humble opinion. Than, in most cases the temporary interest is pretty much synonymous with low interest.... go figure. One more thing, you can make anything sexual if you are subtle and ambiguous about it.
 

Zerro

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ArcBound said:
I agree with this except with part a).

I hit it off with a girl pretty good 2 years ago and I messaged her and she was down to hang out. This is after not speaking for 2 years...
Every case is different but yeah, part b) is most critical.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

bigneil

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There absolutely is a point where it's too late. It's the instant where they know they laid it out there for you but you didn't take it (out of fear of rejection). You managed to trick her until that point into thinking you were too confident to care what her response was. Now she suddenly sees that she is superior in your eyes.

He who hesitates is lost. Venus favors the bold.

Remember: her feelings for you are in a constant state of flux. They are either getting more intense or less intense, never staying constant. Therefore there must be a peak interest point. You must make a move before then.
 
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