She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
well that's why I started this thread, so I can figure out ways to stop being a recluse and go out moreyyc12 said:You didn't mention in the OP if you're in college or not so I meant amateur/rec league. Most are co-ed as well. Since you labeled yourself as a "recluse" I'm guessing you like your alone time and basically see socializing as a means to an end. The sport leagues allow you do something you like, while getting the social benefits without having to "put yourself out there" which sounds like work to me and not fun. I started salsa many yrs ago and got a couple relationships out of it. Luckily for me, it was something I like doing and was always fun and 90% of my FB "friends" are from there. The meetups never worked for me. You meet new people at every meetup (even in the same meetup group) and have to start all over again. Definitely didn't connect with anyone I met there. It might work better for you so it's worth a try.
yeah, overall, I just want to use meet-up.com as a way to go out more with the intention of practicing and developing my approaching and social-skills with womenNickface said:Honestly OP, meetup.com is single handily the best thing I've done in years no joke. I had little friends before hand with no girl prospects. I've done running meet ups, sporting meet ups, eating out meets up. I've met plenty of women. The good thing about meetup is that it takes the pressure off you in a group setting to perform. Plus most of these girls and guys are in the same boat as you so you can relate to them. I also met a few dudes that I was able to network with and increase my social circle ten fold.
Go for it. I recommend it highly. Now I live in NYC so i have a bunch of options in terms of meet ups. If your from a town with minimal population, it may be a little different. Regardless, it works, especially for polishing up your game on chicks.JaegerPilot217 said:yeah, overall, I just want to use meet-up.com as a way to go out more with the intention of practicing and developing my approaching and social-skills with women
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Well I live in Orange County, Southern California, there is the Beach, Disneyland, and many other things to do, its just I don't want to go out alone, because I hear that girls are turned off, well at least a lot of them are if they see a guy that is usually a loner, or if I do go out with friends, its always 1 on 1, I do have a few multiple friends, its just we are not all connected into one social circleNickface said:Go for it. I recommend it highly. Now I live in NYC so i have a bunch of options in terms of meet ups. If your from a town with minimal population, it may be a little different. Regardless, it works, especially for polishing up your game on chicks.
It's also good if your targeting a certain kind of girl. If you like a chick who's into running, do that. There's club meets ups for those type of girls. I tend to think the coed sporting and foodie events are best to work your game with...
Gonna use meet-up to attend Valentines Day singles events tomorrowNickface said:What are you like 12 years old? Who gives a crap what people think about you when your alone. That's not a good excuse and most men on this site would agree that solo game is the best game there is. I'm not saying to walk up to a group of 5 chicks and pick them up. You gotta be able to talk to one girl though and work your way from there.
Friends have nothing to do with this. Sure it's great to expand your social circle but it's defiantly not essential to pick up a gal. Go to a yoga class, go for a run at the park, go to a book store. All prime places to chat with other people who are in the same boat as you...
I meant that you don't need social contexts like a meeting organized on meetup.com to cold approach a woman. It makes things easier, sure, but it's far from necessary. Just go to a random mall or bookstore or something and start approaching. Why not do that?sighsigh said:Why not just do cold approach?
JaegerPilot217 said:Well duh how the hell am I gonna meet women to cold approach if I don't go out? So that's why I started this thread, basically I want to practice and do more approaching in environments other than bars and clubs
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
How do I not be desperate and avoid trying too hard? Is it just a matter of not being outcome dependent?sighsigh said:I meant that you don't need social contexts like a meeting organized on meetup.com to cold approach a woman. It makes things easier, sure, but it's far from necessary. Just go to a random mall or bookstore or something and start approaching. Why not do that?