Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
well that's why I started this thread, so I can figure out ways to stop being a recluse and go out moreyyc12 said:You didn't mention in the OP if you're in college or not so I meant amateur/rec league. Most are co-ed as well. Since you labeled yourself as a "recluse" I'm guessing you like your alone time and basically see socializing as a means to an end. The sport leagues allow you do something you like, while getting the social benefits without having to "put yourself out there" which sounds like work to me and not fun. I started salsa many yrs ago and got a couple relationships out of it. Luckily for me, it was something I like doing and was always fun and 90% of my FB "friends" are from there. The meetups never worked for me. You meet new people at every meetup (even in the same meetup group) and have to start all over again. Definitely didn't connect with anyone I met there. It might work better for you so it's worth a try.
yeah, overall, I just want to use meet-up.com as a way to go out more with the intention of practicing and developing my approaching and social-skills with womenNickface said:Honestly OP, meetup.com is single handily the best thing I've done in years no joke. I had little friends before hand with no girl prospects. I've done running meet ups, sporting meet ups, eating out meets up. I've met plenty of women. The good thing about meetup is that it takes the pressure off you in a group setting to perform. Plus most of these girls and guys are in the same boat as you so you can relate to them. I also met a few dudes that I was able to network with and increase my social circle ten fold.
Go for it. I recommend it highly. Now I live in NYC so i have a bunch of options in terms of meet ups. If your from a town with minimal population, it may be a little different. Regardless, it works, especially for polishing up your game on chicks.JaegerPilot217 said:yeah, overall, I just want to use meet-up.com as a way to go out more with the intention of practicing and developing my approaching and social-skills with women
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Well I live in Orange County, Southern California, there is the Beach, Disneyland, and many other things to do, its just I don't want to go out alone, because I hear that girls are turned off, well at least a lot of them are if they see a guy that is usually a loner, or if I do go out with friends, its always 1 on 1, I do have a few multiple friends, its just we are not all connected into one social circleNickface said:Go for it. I recommend it highly. Now I live in NYC so i have a bunch of options in terms of meet ups. If your from a town with minimal population, it may be a little different. Regardless, it works, especially for polishing up your game on chicks.
It's also good if your targeting a certain kind of girl. If you like a chick who's into running, do that. There's club meets ups for those type of girls. I tend to think the coed sporting and foodie events are best to work your game with...
Gonna use meet-up to attend Valentines Day singles events tomorrowNickface said:What are you like 12 years old? Who gives a crap what people think about you when your alone. That's not a good excuse and most men on this site would agree that solo game is the best game there is. I'm not saying to walk up to a group of 5 chicks and pick them up. You gotta be able to talk to one girl though and work your way from there.
Friends have nothing to do with this. Sure it's great to expand your social circle but it's defiantly not essential to pick up a gal. Go to a yoga class, go for a run at the park, go to a book store. All prime places to chat with other people who are in the same boat as you...
I meant that you don't need social contexts like a meeting organized on meetup.com to cold approach a woman. It makes things easier, sure, but it's far from necessary. Just go to a random mall or bookstore or something and start approaching. Why not do that?sighsigh said:Why not just do cold approach?
JaegerPilot217 said:Well duh how the hell am I gonna meet women to cold approach if I don't go out? So that's why I started this thread, basically I want to practice and do more approaching in environments other than bars and clubs
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
How do I not be desperate and avoid trying too hard? Is it just a matter of not being outcome dependent?sighsigh said:I meant that you don't need social contexts like a meeting organized on meetup.com to cold approach a woman. It makes things easier, sure, but it's far from necessary. Just go to a random mall or bookstore or something and start approaching. Why not do that?