"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Is the girl starting to flake?

adamw5963

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I've been talking to this girl on pof for the past week. She couldn't go out this past weekend because she had her kids. So she said she could this weekend. We plan on going hiking because she likes scenic photography. She started saying today that her allergies were killing her. I don't know if I should comfort her or what because I know that can be afc since I'm not her bf or anything. Here is the conversation today.

HB: Yea i guess.....sorry it has been hectic here. what you been up to?

Me: Not much just won the lottery!! Haha nah its been pretty hectic here
too with class starting back ;)How was your weekend other than being
hectic? :)

HB: Okay I guess my allergies and sinuses are kicking my ass and I feel
like my head is going to explode....but hey that isn't too bad right

Me: Ah I sorry. I'm with you on the allergies. I'm getting my ass kicked too. But it isnt too bad just annoying as hell!! I do believe the rain would help ;) what ya think?

HB: I think so too but I am miserable ugh

So should I say I'm sorry again and try to comfort her or what?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Johnnyventana

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My allergies were kicking my ass too, but I'm like F it, I'm still partying. Shyte don't stop me. Let's meet up at X place at X time on X day. Oh, and your buying! ;)
 

ArcBound

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No point in pushing for the date.

Here's what you do, you flake on her:
tell her that you guys will schedule the date another time, you don't want her to go hiking and not be able to enjoy it because of her allergies.

But the thing is I think it is already over. She flaked once already and seems like she will flake again, too much time is passing by without an actual meetup and the whole connection is dying. The allergy sounds bogus to me, but text her what you feel like and tell us what happens.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Gro0ver

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Last time she flaked did she suggest rearranging? If they flake without any suggestion of rearrangement then that normally shows low interest level, because if they were keen then they wouldn't want you to think they're not interested.

If that's the case then it's time to cease pursuit and move on to fresh prey.
 

Pimp-sicle

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adamw5963 said:
I've been talking to this girl on pof for the past week. She couldn't go out this past weekend because she had her kids. So she said she could this weekend. We plan on going hiking because she likes scenic photography. She started saying today that her allergies were killing her. I don't know if I should comfort her or what because I know that can be afc since I'm not her bf or anything. Here is the conversation today.

HB: Yea i guess.....sorry it has been hectic here. what you been up to?

Me: Not much just won the lottery!! Haha nah its been pretty hectic here
too with class starting back ;)How was your weekend other than being
hectic? :)

HB: Okay I guess my allergies and sinuses are kicking my ass and I feel
like my head is going to explode....but hey that isn't too bad right

Me: Ah I sorry. I'm with you on the allergies. I'm getting my ass kicked too. But it isnt too bad just annoying as hell!! I do believe the rain would help ;) what ya think?

HB: I think so too but I am miserable ugh

So should I say I'm sorry again and try to comfort her or what?

Aside from the supplicating which others pointed out; this conversation just sucks bro.

If I saw the transcript for this I would think this is a conversation between two girls.

There's no teasing, no flirting, no showing higher value; nada!


This girl has low interest, don't say sorry again, don't re-arrange the date, just drop her like a hot potato. That's your only chance to re-engage her interest since she might wonder what happened to you.






PIMP
 

Iceberg

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Pimp-sicle said:
Aside from the supplicating which others pointed out; this conversation just sucks bro.

If I saw the transcript for this I would think this is a conversation between two girls.

There's no teasing, no flirting, no showing higher value; nada!


This girl has low interest, don't say sorry again, don't re-arrange the date, just drop her like a hot potato. That's your only chance to re-engage her interest since she might wonder what happened to you.






PIMP

100% agree.

I didn't feel like replying in this thread because it seemed like everyone else covered everything. But the conversation was just plain weak.

A- in general it's best to just keep these text conversations short and to the point. Talking about allergies and work and crap is an absolute boner-killer.

B - if you MUST text, then just take the most interesting thing on your day, and share it with her. "I just interviewed a guy with an eyepatch." or "Wow. I just got bit by a poodle."

Hell, I don't even care if it's a lie. Just anything that's funny, interesting, and QUICK. There's nothing I hate more than seeing guys on this site have these lame back-and-forth chats via text. As if you're building some kind of emotional rapport by clicking buttons on a cellphone. Say something interesting or funny. Let her respond. And then disappear until you ask her out. There's nothing that kills attraction faster than being in constant contact with a girl. Especially if you've never even met the girl.
 

adamw5963

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I agree. This was actually over a couple of days. I only text her once a day, sometimes twice. I do flirt more when its constant texting but I usually just don't know what to say when I only text her once. Oh I just sent her a message about setting up the date another time. I'm waiting to hear what she says.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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