"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Is the girl starting to flake?

adamw5963

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I've been talking to this girl on pof for the past week. She couldn't go out this past weekend because she had her kids. So she said she could this weekend. We plan on going hiking because she likes scenic photography. She started saying today that her allergies were killing her. I don't know if I should comfort her or what because I know that can be afc since I'm not her bf or anything. Here is the conversation today.

HB: Yea i guess.....sorry it has been hectic here. what you been up to?

Me: Not much just won the lottery!! Haha nah its been pretty hectic here
too with class starting back ;)How was your weekend other than being
hectic? :)

HB: Okay I guess my allergies and sinuses are kicking my ass and I feel
like my head is going to explode....but hey that isn't too bad right

Me: Ah I sorry. I'm with you on the allergies. I'm getting my ass kicked too. But it isnt too bad just annoying as hell!! I do believe the rain would help ;) what ya think?

HB: I think so too but I am miserable ugh

So should I say I'm sorry again and try to comfort her or what?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Johnnyventana

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My allergies were kicking my ass too, but I'm like F it, I'm still partying. Shyte don't stop me. Let's meet up at X place at X time on X day. Oh, and your buying! ;)
 

ArcBound

Master Don Juan
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No point in pushing for the date.

Here's what you do, you flake on her:
tell her that you guys will schedule the date another time, you don't want her to go hiking and not be able to enjoy it because of her allergies.

But the thing is I think it is already over. She flaked once already and seems like she will flake again, too much time is passing by without an actual meetup and the whole connection is dying. The allergy sounds bogus to me, but text her what you feel like and tell us what happens.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Gro0ver

Senior Don Juan
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The dance floor
Last time she flaked did she suggest rearranging? If they flake without any suggestion of rearrangement then that normally shows low interest level, because if they were keen then they wouldn't want you to think they're not interested.

If that's the case then it's time to cease pursuit and move on to fresh prey.
 

Pimp-sicle

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adamw5963 said:
I've been talking to this girl on pof for the past week. She couldn't go out this past weekend because she had her kids. So she said she could this weekend. We plan on going hiking because she likes scenic photography. She started saying today that her allergies were killing her. I don't know if I should comfort her or what because I know that can be afc since I'm not her bf or anything. Here is the conversation today.

HB: Yea i guess.....sorry it has been hectic here. what you been up to?

Me: Not much just won the lottery!! Haha nah its been pretty hectic here
too with class starting back ;)How was your weekend other than being
hectic? :)

HB: Okay I guess my allergies and sinuses are kicking my ass and I feel
like my head is going to explode....but hey that isn't too bad right

Me: Ah I sorry. I'm with you on the allergies. I'm getting my ass kicked too. But it isnt too bad just annoying as hell!! I do believe the rain would help ;) what ya think?

HB: I think so too but I am miserable ugh

So should I say I'm sorry again and try to comfort her or what?

Aside from the supplicating which others pointed out; this conversation just sucks bro.

If I saw the transcript for this I would think this is a conversation between two girls.

There's no teasing, no flirting, no showing higher value; nada!


This girl has low interest, don't say sorry again, don't re-arrange the date, just drop her like a hot potato. That's your only chance to re-engage her interest since she might wonder what happened to you.






PIMP
 

Iceberg

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Pimp-sicle said:
Aside from the supplicating which others pointed out; this conversation just sucks bro.

If I saw the transcript for this I would think this is a conversation between two girls.

There's no teasing, no flirting, no showing higher value; nada!


This girl has low interest, don't say sorry again, don't re-arrange the date, just drop her like a hot potato. That's your only chance to re-engage her interest since she might wonder what happened to you.






PIMP

100% agree.

I didn't feel like replying in this thread because it seemed like everyone else covered everything. But the conversation was just plain weak.

A- in general it's best to just keep these text conversations short and to the point. Talking about allergies and work and crap is an absolute boner-killer.

B - if you MUST text, then just take the most interesting thing on your day, and share it with her. "I just interviewed a guy with an eyepatch." or "Wow. I just got bit by a poodle."

Hell, I don't even care if it's a lie. Just anything that's funny, interesting, and QUICK. There's nothing I hate more than seeing guys on this site have these lame back-and-forth chats via text. As if you're building some kind of emotional rapport by clicking buttons on a cellphone. Say something interesting or funny. Let her respond. And then disappear until you ask her out. There's nothing that kills attraction faster than being in constant contact with a girl. Especially if you've never even met the girl.
 

adamw5963

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I agree. This was actually over a couple of days. I only text her once a day, sometimes twice. I do flirt more when its constant texting but I usually just don't know what to say when I only text her once. Oh I just sent her a message about setting up the date another time. I'm waiting to hear what she says.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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