"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Is the friendzone bull****?

MurdocIsGod

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I think it just means they find you too ugly, or your personality is currently unattractive to them.

I've been called "friend" by certain girls and then end up ****ing them. I ask this one girl about how that happened (she's really into me now), she said something like "oh you must've gotten better..." and another time she was like "I don't know I've changed since then". :confused:
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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PapiChulo

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Yes, attraction=sex=dating, Comfort=friend, they still have to like your personality in any case. It doesn't mean that there are other cases, as in you have improved your looks, or she misjudged your character. Friendzone ain't bullish!t unless you are one sexy mofo.
 

Energy25

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MurdocIsGod said:
I think it just means they find you too ugly, or your personality is currently unattractive to them.

I've been called "friend" by certain girls and then end up ****ing them. I ask this one girl about how that happened (she's really into me now), she said something like "oh you must've gotten better..." and another time she was like "I don't know I've changed since then". :confused:
Yes, the friendzone theory is complete bullsh!t. Good post.
 

vatoloco

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Social_Leper said:
Its simply a nice way for women to tell you that they aren't attracted to you pure and simple and the general consensus is that once you're in the friendzone it is extremely difficult to get out.
And unfortunately, it is this minuscule probability that a lot of new guys hang onto. "OMG, I have a one in billion chance that she will get together with me! It's not zero, right!?"

Time would be better spent spinning plates. You know, perhaps find a better, hotter girl... ;)
 

Packers2010

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yeah. i loved my best friend for like 7 years then she just got out of a LTR. we hooked up a lot but she wouldn't date me.

so i guess girls have a different mindset for dating as the do just hooking up.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Mike32ct

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I think it's real. It's one of two scenarios:

1. She has never been attracted to you.

Or

2. She was somewhat attracted to you and you never made a move on her. Over time, you became like a brother to her. Now, the idea of hooking up with you seems incestuous and literally grosses her out.

If you're a really hot guy, you probably won't fall into either scenario.
 

MurdocIsGod

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Mike32ct said:
1. She has never been attracted to you.

Or

2. She was somewhat attracted to you and you never made a move on her. Over time, you became like a brother to her. Now, the idea of hooking up with you seems incestuous and literally grosses her out.
If it's the first one, that means that you're simply not flicking her switches. Or she finds you fat/ugly or something.

The second one would surely only happen if you hang around her and speak to her far too much? I can imagine that happening, yeah. I don't think many guys make that mistake though?
 

Mike32ct

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MurdocIsGod said:
If it's the first one, that means that you're simply not flicking her switches. Or she finds you fat/ugly or something.

Agreed.
The second one would surely only happen if you hang around her and speak to her far too much? I can imagine that happening, yeah. I don't think many guys make that mistake though?
Correct. It happens with AFC guys. A guy can get too chummy or friendly with a girl. Then her, loving the attention, talks to him for hours. He thinks he's building a relationship, but instead he's friendzoning himself by being all talk and not making a move.
 

Energy25

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This is not always the case though. I had been friends with this one girl since last fall and then she drank with me and told me how much she liked me for so long and all this stuff. And it's happened more than once and also while she wasn't even drunk. So, you CAN TALK A LOT to a girl, not make any moves, and still have her EXTREMELY interested in you. It just comes down to how you ACT while you are with her. If you spark her interest, it doesn't matter how long you talk without making a move.
 

Mike32ct

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Energy25 said:
This is not always the case though. I had been friends with this one girl since last fall and then she drank with me and told me how much she liked me for so long and all this stuff. And it's happened more than once and also while she wasn't even drunk. So, you CAN TALK A LOT to a girl, not make any moves, and still have her EXTREMELY interested in you. It just comes down to how you ACT while you are with her. If you spark her interest, it doesn't matter how long you talk without making a move.
I can understand that. There are no 100 percent rules in the game. It is possible to have a girl have the hots for you for a long time (despite not making a move) IF you handle it correctly. You are definitely advanced and have that attractive masculine presence firmly developed.

The friendzone concept is a very general thing for newbies to understand. Generally, it is best to strike when the iron is hot. Most guys don't get strong, sustained interest from girls. It's fleeting interest at best, so they must act on it quickly in order to have a chance. More attractive or advanced guys can take their time.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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irocknike23

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not true

i made a topic about this about a month back..

some girls will like you at first and you dont do anything so over time they develop a brother love for you....this is no BS i experienced this and still am experiencing it
 

goldengoose

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I hooked up with a couple of "friends" that I was friendzoned. most of the time you cant get anywhere being friends.
 

Veridin

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irocknike23 said:
not true

i made a topic about this about a month back..

some girls will like you at first and you dont do anything so over time they develop a brother love for you....this is no BS i experienced this and still am experiencing it
Exactly. The spark is gone.

Yes, there are examples of girls who get together with a male friend. In case it wasn't obvious by now, there are exceptions to every rule. But that doesn't mean the general behavior doesn't exist. When a girl keeps a guy as a friend, that generally means she isn't attracted to him. Or she would have made a boyfriend out of him already.
 

old married dude

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It's possible to to break out of the friend zone, but it's kind of like breaking out of jail. It takes time, patience, planning, and the ability to be sly & fly under the radar to hide your intentions. You have to carefully evaluate the situation, if she tells you that you remind her of Steve Urkel, you're in trouble. If she's showing signs that say "I'm not quite sure about you, but I'm sticking you in my friend zone just for right now" then start chipping away at her.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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MurdocIsGod

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old married dude said:
It's possible to to break out of the friend zone, but it's kind of like breaking out of jail. It takes time, patience, planning, and the ability to be sly & fly under the radar to hide your intentions. You have to carefully evaluate the situation, if she tells you that you remind her of Steve Urkel, you're in trouble. If she's showing signs that say "I'm not quite sure about you, but I'm sticking you in my friend zone just for right now" then start chipping away at her.
I think most guys would like further explanation on this.
 
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