bigneil said:
The men women call assh*les are ones they once called sweet who didn't call them back, not men who deliberately acted like assh*les. That routine won't get you far.
That's why you should never say "I don't want to talk to you again". A player would be telling her "Sure, I'll call you next week..." while never talking to her again (doing versus saying).
Right on the money. Or ones who acted sweet in the beginning - only to change once the target was caught / controlled. Being an ******* doesn't attract anyone except the crazies. Seriously.
The whole ******* thing is way overblown, and women exaggerate greatly when complaining about someone. All you hear is the bad, based on their negative feelings at the time. So, they say this person is an *******, and complain about them non-stop. It's just emotions and ranting. Doesn't mean anything, and isn't true. They're probably not even real *******s.
But, these same people will almost always say the person was nice in the beginning - when the other person genuinely is an *******.
This is how people - especially those with low self esteem - get caught up in *******s. They think they can change them back into how they were in the beginning, and can't stop thinking of how perfect they were - when it was all just a charade. They're just being jerked around, and played like fools. Subtle control and manipulation is common. They'll make it seem like its the targets fault for them becoming *******s - when its what they were all along - and they also mess with their emotions, make threats, prey on their insecurities, etc. They're good actors, and look for easy prey to deceive. Most of them play the role of a nice guy, actually. A wolf in sheep's clothing, if you will.
People always fall in love with the nice guy or girl. It just so happens that a lot of times, these aren't nice people. They're jerks pretending to be nice - only to reveal their true colors later. And that's when people try to change them - not realizing its who they were all along.
Both men and women do this, by the way. I've had men complain about these same things that women did. "She was so nice in the beginning... Why can't she just love me like I love her... Blah blah whine cry *****". Most of the people who STAY with the *******s are usually messed up, though. They are also attracted to the dysfunctional nature of them, so they're by no means innocent. Most of them avoid genuinely nice people, because they like the spice and craziness - only to complain about it constantly.
If someone is into *******s - just save yourself the trouble, and get the hell out. Being the nice guy won't accomplish ****, because if they genuinely wanted one, they'd be with one. They'd rather complain about the same drama they put themselves in. Not worth it. And its not worth it to be an ******* just to attract some lunatic who's just going to cause problems and make your life a living hell. It's better to find a sane person who likes decent guys. But that doesn't mean you can't tease, flirt, act sexual, poke fun, etc. If you have to insult, neglect, control, abuse, however, then she's probably crazy, or a ***** herself. Or a crazy *****.
