You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
bradd80 said:evan,
iv'e been doing the martial arts since i was in my late teens. I was never one of those guys who was into the martial arts and stuff like that, but i enjoyed it as much as weightlifting it was like once i started i didn't want to stop.
It kept me off of drugs in a neighbourhood that was full of weed and coke. It helped me remain focused, and i was able to stay in school where i ended up getting very far both academically and professionally.
In short, I can't credit the martial arts enough for keeping me out of trouble, keeping me fit, and helping make me a successful man overall. I can't recommend it enough, at any age.
Now I started out with stuff like taekwondo, kickboxing, and muay thai. I was young, so I was really into learning the beautiful high spinning hook kicks to the head. I moved on to other stuff like shaolin gung fu, jiujiutsu, and ninjitsu. With all the stuff I learned I could have been a professional bouncer instead of a lawyer lol but what i'm saying is i've tried a lot of these arts for extended periods of time so i know quite a bit about them.
These arts are best begun when you're young, it's true. But only if you plan on becoming an olympic gold medalist. Judo is an art that you can start at any age and it will still come in very handy. Believe me, if you stick with it you will NOT be disappointed. Try out a bunch of different clubs in the Toronto area, lots of them offer free classes or even a month so take advantage. Also compare prices, and do the research to make sure you get the best teachers possible.
One thing about judo: like jiujiutsu, it's a kind of "watered down" version of battlefield hand to hand combat that, similar to arts such as taekwondo, muay thai, and MMA grappling, is geared more towards sport. So a lot of the techniques you learn will be "safer" because they are mostly meant for sport purposes. This is not to say that these are some pretty serious fvcking fighting styles, i'm just saying if you want a more hands on street combat effective style you're better going with ninjitsu or krav maga.
ninjas were poor peasants who lived in fuedal japan many centuries ago, what you see now with people wearing black ski masks and doing acrobatics is people selling you a product based on hollywood movies any school you see selling ninjitsu is a mcdojo in my opinionScottMustaine said:I found one cool club in my city which doesn't charge a hell lot of money for training. It's Ninjitsu.
Should I go up for it. Will it be useful , or it's going to be only a martial 'art' ?
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.