"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

Is she still interested in her ex?

Squidward

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Hello fellow DJs! I joined here some time ago and tried to make progress and learning from mistakes on my own after reading most of the information on here, but right now I could use some help from you guys...

I've been seeing this girl for a few months now, been doing great.
Apprently a few days before I starting asking myself this question (Thread Title) I heard she wanted a relationship with me. Fair do's, although I've been unsure about it since she has been putting any form of sex until we are "together". So anyway, Friday night, we went to see a local band at the pub, and she bumps into her ex there. I was ignored throughout the whole night while she chatted with him (I didn't know it was her ex until today) and while he wonders off she looks around the room for him like a lost puppy. I think nothing of it and try to enjoy the night.

Before we left, she gave my a hug and he kissed on the cheek (Looked friendly to me, all good ). This is where things start to change in my mind.
I saw her as usual in college and she tells me how last night they were on the phone 'till midnight and that he gave her his number to "catch up" and how they both were trying to remeber what they said to each other before they left. Now I don't get it; Why would you want to "catch up" with a ex unless your attracted to them again?

My gut is strongly telling me to next this girl, which would be a shame because she as a cracking personailty. Is this jealously or is my instinct telling me to get the hell out of there?

Cheers.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Bluesteak

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The same thing happened to a girl that LJBF me so I got the insider information. Apparently in my friends case, the ex of 3 years asked her to be FB's and tried to kiss her. She kissed him but no sex went down..... as far as I know
Im sure its different in your case but thats just my 2 cents
 

jdon23

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Its is my opinion that a woman who still contacts her EX is very likely to cheat on you. Think about it. He's an EX for a reason. Why would she talk to him unless there is hope in her mind for a revival in their relationship?

She just wants to be friends with him you say? If you believe that you are very naive.
 

Squidward

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Thanks for the advice so far, Jdon23 and Bluestreak. I'm not the one who thinks she just wants to be friends with this guy. Jdon23, I think you've hit the nail on the head, as I believe a Ex is always a Ex for a reason. Thanks, man.
 

KingBeef

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Squidward said:
This is where things start to change in my mind.
I saw her as usual in college and she tells me how last night they were on the phone 'till midnight and that he gave her his number to "catch up" and how they both were trying to remeber what they said to each other before they left. Now I don't get it; Why would you want to "catch up" with a ex unless your attracted to them again?

My gut is strongly telling me to next this girl, which would be a shame because she as a cracking personailty. Is this jealously or is my instinct telling me to get the hell out of there?

Cheers.
If you consider to have a good head on your shoulders (which I think you do have) than always remember this for the most part:

ALWAYS TRUST YOUR GUT....

Why would anyone want to "catch up" with an ex unless your attracted to them??? BECAUSE SHE'S STILL ATTRACTED TO HIM.....HE PROBABLY BROKE UP WITH HER FIRST AND STILL RETAINS THE POWER "SPELL" OVER HER.



Squidward said:
Is this jealously or is my instinct telling me to get the hell out of there?
Again, TRUST YOUR GUT.... You're instincts are right most of the time. What kind of girl would totally neglect you and see the ex all night??? Low quality that is. Don't take her disrespect...next her...
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Squidward

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Thanks KingBeef, best reponse so far. My mind is made up and I'm going to next her. Save all the hassle won't it.
 

KingBeef

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no problem. By the way, if you were juggling more women (say 2, 3 or more) you would feel not only more confident and reassured of yourself, but if you ever came accross such a woman like that again you would be more decisive into getTING rid her more quickly because you have not only other "plates" but you would see how obvious her "disrespect/flaws' are and wouldn't even think twice into getting rid of her...TRY NOT TO BE SO INTO ONE WOMEN UNTIL SHE PROVES HERSELF TO YOU...
 

Cashew

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Squidward said:
Anyone want to put in thier 2 cent?

Thanks.
I think the advice given so far is plenty.

From the story it is a major disrespect of you from her to go hang out with another guy the entire (especially an ex) when it is a night out for you two. That isn't something I'd tolerate and if she thinks that is acceptable, then she is out.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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slaog

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Actions speak louder then words. In the club she was more interested in her ex then you.


Forget about her. No need to next her but just forget about her. She doesn't like you as much as her ex. So what you do is just look for somebody who likes you and if she wants to chase you then let her.
 

WC2

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She's still into her ex. Don't take offense, most girls have a thing for their ex long after they've broken up; especially if she was the one who got dumped.
 
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