Is she relationship worthy?

[summersky]

Hello everyone,

i met this 24 year old girl online 2 months ago and we became really close, we text and talk every day and went out 5 times. We didn't slept with each other yet because she is saying she needs time to get to know me and she isn't "that kind of girl" who sleeps with guys fast. But we already kissed and did other things in bed. She always tells me she is missing me, texts or calls me every day. I start to like her and I am wondering if she is relationship worthy.

Some things that seem to be red flags are:

I already caught her a few times tellling white lies to me. Nothing big and she told me the truth later but I ask myself if she is lying about other, more important things as well.

She is texting with a lot of "male friends", I would say orbiters. She seems to like the attention they are giving her. She always says they are just friends, classmates, whatever. I talked to her about it and she said there is nothing wrong because we are not in a relationship yet. She said, that she wouldn't do it in a relationship. But how can I be sure she will change this behaviour? I think one should judge a womans behaviour BEFORE the relationship starts, to see if the woman is relationship worthy or am I wrong? Or could a woman change habits like these after she gets in a relationship with someone?

What do you think?

Regards
summersky

 

[Doctor Europeo]

If you have to ask, she probably isnt. Those red flags could become bigger issues down the road.

I would say she is for recreational use only, not worthy of exclusivity or ltr. If she wont put out unless you give her "gf" label, I think you should just next her

 

[pipeman84]

she is saying she needs time to get to know me and she isn't "that kind of girl" who sleeps with guys fast.

Going by the info in OP, I get the sense she's exactly that kind of girl.
On your end, I think the mistake you're making is talking and texting everyday .... she's not your wife, you only know her for 2 months.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Sounds like typical love bombing from a BPD.

 

[Glassguy]

Sounds like typical love bombing from a BPD.

IMO, BPD chick would have already blown his mind in bed since date 1 or 2.

OP had been pulled on by her string that's attached to her little finger.

He needs to use S&D and instantly find out what her true interest level is. I would guess super low. She just wants the attention and validation.
My guess would be if OP just stopped communicating with her, she would just be silent and maybe not immediately realize it because he isn't a priority to her.

Time to cut your losses OP and EJECT!

 

[Agamemnon43]

she is saying she needs time to get to know me and she isn't "that kind of girl" who sleeps with guys fast.

She isn't ready to invest anything into relationship with you. Because you didn't attract her enough and you gave her everything already. Probably your "asking" for secks turned her off as well.

I met a girl 3 weeks ago. On the first date, after some kissing, I tried to escalate further and she told me she is not the girl to "go further physicaly" and that we barely know each other. And that she doesn't like too much physical or sexual contact. I'm like - "alright, girl".
What do you know, 2nd date i'm railing her in the back of my car in a dark parking lot. She seemed pretty determined not to give herself to me and to play a nun, but I knew it's bullsh*t.

Never trust this sh*t women say.

 

[Vanderdonck]

Hello everyone,

i met this 24 year old girl online 2 months ago and we became really close, we text and talk every day and went out 5 times. We didn't slept with each other yet because she is saying she needs time to get to know me and she isn't "that kind of girl" who sleeps with guys fast. But we already kissed and did other things in bed. She always tells me she is missing me, texts or calls me every day. I start to like her and I am wondering if she is relationship worthy.

Some things that seem to be red flags are:

I already caught her a few times tellling white lies to me. Nothing big and she told me the truth later but I ask myself if she is lying about other, more important things as well.

She is texting with a lot of "male friends", I would say orbiters. She seems to like the attention they are giving her. She always says they are just friends, classmates, whatever. I talked to her about it and she said there is nothing wrong because we are not in a relationship yet. She said, that she wouldn't do it in a relationship. But how can I be sure she will change this behaviour? I think one should judge a womans behaviour BEFORE the relationship starts, to see if the woman is relationship worthy or am I wrong? Or could a woman change habits like these after she gets in a relationship with someone?

What do you think?

Regards
summersky

She is definitely "that kind of girl" for the right guy. Whether you think that makes sense for you for a LTR is up to you.

As for the orbiters, that will never change. If you try to tell her how to live her life she'll just hide it from you. If you don't like it, you should move on. Be the guy whom women orbit.

 

[TB24]

Some things that seem to be red flags are:
I already caught her a few times tellling white lies to me. Nothing big and she told me the truth later but I ask myself if she is lying about other, more important things as well.

Most probably, she is lying or will be lying about more important things, yes. That may have two reasons:
a) She doesn't trust you and/or doesn't feel safe to tell you the truth. Are you judging a lot? Do you accept other opinions? You should create an environment where she can feel safe to tell you everything and feel any kind of emotion when she's with you without having to hide something.
b) Lying is a habit for her. Perhaps she has made too many bad experiences. Or too low self esteem. Doesn't have the courage to be disliked. Whatever.

Or maybe a combination of a) and b). However, if there is distrust between you, there's no foundation.

She is texting with a lot of "male friends", I would say orbiters. She seems to like the attention they are giving her. She always says they are just friends, classmates, whatever. I talked to her about it and she said there is nothing wrong because we are not in a relationship yet. She said, that she wouldn't do it in a relationship. But how can I be sure she will change this behaviour?

You can't. Attractive women will always have orbiters. But it's her choice how she presents herself. Does she mention you or does she post pictures with you two together? You shouldn't be possessive. But if she's constantly presenting herself and exposes herself so that other men can contact her, she more or less invites other men into her life. That's not a good sign. In this case, you're merely an option (if at all).

Do you think she's interested in an LTR with you? What makes you think so?

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

This forum was built on the mounds of ashes of the threads that were started by men about "this one girl".

Word to the wise:

One thing is to wait for an innocent virgin village girl. Another thing to be told you have to wait, by the girl that has more mileage on her than the village bicycle.

Burn that onto your frontal cortex.

She ain't that into you. (Texting other swinging d1cks. This chick breathes male attention and validation. Yours will never be enough)

High LTR value women do not have male friends.

It's usually a sign of disinterest (as opposed to not interested) and she's still figuring out if you're worth it or not.

These are called back burner/slow cooking girls.

A woman whose really interested in you will show that she is, she won't tell you to be just friends, or to take it super slow.

This also shows she's got options and she's shopping around, there's obviously higher SMV guys she's hoping to give her pvssy to first, and you're in the middle of the que at best.

Do a litmus test to see if you're wasting your time or not. Any semi-interested girl will pick up the bait.

Flank her. I would just tell her straight up,
“ Listen bbygirl, I dig you, I really do but I think we are better suited as friends.”

An interested/competitive girl will ask why. If not, she's not interested

When she asks why. Say you've been on some dates with another girl and she seems really cool.

Friendzoning them before they do (when you see it going that way), usually works by challenging their ego.

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

She isn't ready to invest anything into relationship with you. Because you didn't attract her enough and you gave her everything already. Probably your "asking" for secks turned her off as well.

I met a girl 3 weeks ago. On the first date, after some kissing, I tried to escalate further and she told me she is not the girl to "go further physicaly" and that we barely know each other. And that she doesn't like too much physical or sexual contact. I'm like - "alright, girl".
What do you know, 2nd date i'm railing her in the back of my car in a dark parking lot. She seemed pretty determined not to give herself to me and to play a nun, but I knew it's bullsh*t.

Never trust this sh*t women say.