"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Is she interested?

Bigpapa

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I agree.
The guy has to lead but also be calibrated and smooth. In re-reading OP's post, the fact that there wasn't even hand holding until the 2nd date signaled impending doom to me to start with.

Handholding/Hugging on a 2nd date may only be acceptable if OP met an inexperienced woman off ChristianMingle or something like that. LOL

Either she is super experienced in leading guys on , either she is not that experienced

but since she came to his place and spent the night , even though he op did not managed to do the most minimum escalation prior to this , I would say that she is just naive and not experienced

I would also add that he is quite inexperienced with women and does not know how to escalate and lead

do we know what age they are ? I would say no more than 20 based on the whole story so far
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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ink_wizard

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We’re both 31....to be honest I’m starting to get bored of the whole thing with her, I mean we do have a good time when we are out but the whole lack of flirting and physical intimacy is really making me question whether I want to continue with her. I feel rude to to ghost lol because I know she’ll hit me up when she doesn’t hear from me anymore. Should I just ghost anyway or tell her we should just be friends?
 

Bigpapa

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We’re both 31....to be honest I’m starting to get bored of the whole thing with her, I mean we do have a good time when we are out but the whole lack of flirting and physical intimacy is really making me question whether I want to continue with her. I feel rude to to ghost lol because I know she’ll hit me up when she doesn’t hear from me anymore. Should I just ghost anyway or tell her we should just be friends?
then it just means that she is looking for someone to settle with or keep you as a backup

sexualize the convo and see where it goes :)

I am quite relaxed around women , and I say what pops my head . Sometimes I tell them directly that I get a boner when I see moving her hips with such grace haha

most of the time women like this kind of things , if she is attracted to you
 
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Lookatu

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I met off tinder. So we’ve already been on 2 dates which have gone really well, lots of laughing and vibing, lots in common, nothing sexual yet but both have communicated mutual attraction for one another. The problem? We still haven’t kissed...we held hands and flirted a fair bit on the last date and I tried to escalate to kissing from hugging but she informed me she was not “ready for that yet”.....

the past month she has initiated all the dates and texts but sometimes takes hours to reply to texts
Should I just ghost anyway or tell her we should just be friends?
Well you met off Tinder and didn't even hold her hand or hug until 2nd date. That is a bad indication from the beginning. You said you tried to kiss her but got rejected during the 2nd date. Another bad indication of her desire.

Her initiating dates doesn't mean squat other than her wanting something to do. The fact that she takes hours to reply probably means she's using you as a backup in case her other plans fell through.

It's up to you if you want to ghost or play the "let's be friend's card". But you've already had two chances. Even if you went out with her on a 3rd date, I'm sure she'll put you in her frame like before. My $.02
 

ink_wizard

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I do try an sexualise conversations and she shuts me down by either not replying or calling me cheeky lol...
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Bigpapa

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I do try an sexualise conversations and she shuts me down by either not replying or calling me cheeky lol...
and what do you do after she calls you cheeky ?

because it seems to me that she outframes you all the time and senses that you are not that sure about yourself
 

ink_wizard

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and what do you do after she calls you cheeky ?

because it seems to me that she outframes you all the time and senses that you are not that sure about yourself
Well usually she doesn’t really reply if I continue with it or she’ll make comments saying that she’s not ready for that stuff yet but will make it happen when she’s feeling more comfortable
 

Bigpapa

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Well usually she doesn’t really reply if I continue with it or she’ll make comments saying that she’s not ready for that stuff yet but will make it happen when she’s feeling more comfortable
it is very unusual for a woman that is 31 to behave this way if she is attracted to you

my 2 cents are not to think about her and to talk with other girls

if she wants you , she can do most of the leg work while you are putting the most minimum effort , if not c’est la vie
 

Lookatu

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You're dealing with someone that has very low IL, wants to friendzone you, wants you as a provider BF, uses sex to control you, wants an activity partner, or is a prude. Any of those combos.
Quit wasting your time on this chick and date others with more potential.
 

Glassguy

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We’re both 31....to be honest I’m starting to get bored of the whole thing with her, I mean we do have a good time when we are out but the whole lack of flirting and physical intimacy is really making me question whether I want to continue with her. I feel rude to to ghost lol because I know she’ll hit me up when she doesn’t hear from me anymore. Should I just ghost anyway or tell her we should just be friends?
Just tell her that you can be friends because you feel as though you are a way more sexual person that her. Then bounce.

She will either come back strong and put out or you'll waste no more time on her.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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