"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Is she interested?

Bigpapa

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I agree.
The guy has to lead but also be calibrated and smooth. In re-reading OP's post, the fact that there wasn't even hand holding until the 2nd date signaled impending doom to me to start with.

Handholding/Hugging on a 2nd date may only be acceptable if OP met an inexperienced woman off ChristianMingle or something like that. LOL

Either she is super experienced in leading guys on , either she is not that experienced

but since she came to his place and spent the night , even though he op did not managed to do the most minimum escalation prior to this , I would say that she is just naive and not experienced

I would also add that he is quite inexperienced with women and does not know how to escalate and lead

do we know what age they are ? I would say no more than 20 based on the whole story so far
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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ink_wizard

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We’re both 31....to be honest I’m starting to get bored of the whole thing with her, I mean we do have a good time when we are out but the whole lack of flirting and physical intimacy is really making me question whether I want to continue with her. I feel rude to to ghost lol because I know she’ll hit me up when she doesn’t hear from me anymore. Should I just ghost anyway or tell her we should just be friends?
 

Bigpapa

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We’re both 31....to be honest I’m starting to get bored of the whole thing with her, I mean we do have a good time when we are out but the whole lack of flirting and physical intimacy is really making me question whether I want to continue with her. I feel rude to to ghost lol because I know she’ll hit me up when she doesn’t hear from me anymore. Should I just ghost anyway or tell her we should just be friends?
then it just means that she is looking for someone to settle with or keep you as a backup

sexualize the convo and see where it goes :)

I am quite relaxed around women , and I say what pops my head . Sometimes I tell them directly that I get a boner when I see moving her hips with such grace haha

most of the time women like this kind of things , if she is attracted to you
 
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Lookatu

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I met off tinder. So we’ve already been on 2 dates which have gone really well, lots of laughing and vibing, lots in common, nothing sexual yet but both have communicated mutual attraction for one another. The problem? We still haven’t kissed...we held hands and flirted a fair bit on the last date and I tried to escalate to kissing from hugging but she informed me she was not “ready for that yet”.....

the past month she has initiated all the dates and texts but sometimes takes hours to reply to texts
Should I just ghost anyway or tell her we should just be friends?
Well you met off Tinder and didn't even hold her hand or hug until 2nd date. That is a bad indication from the beginning. You said you tried to kiss her but got rejected during the 2nd date. Another bad indication of her desire.

Her initiating dates doesn't mean squat other than her wanting something to do. The fact that she takes hours to reply probably means she's using you as a backup in case her other plans fell through.

It's up to you if you want to ghost or play the "let's be friend's card". But you've already had two chances. Even if you went out with her on a 3rd date, I'm sure she'll put you in her frame like before. My $.02
 

ink_wizard

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I do try an sexualise conversations and she shuts me down by either not replying or calling me cheeky lol...
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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Bigpapa

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I do try an sexualise conversations and she shuts me down by either not replying or calling me cheeky lol...
and what do you do after she calls you cheeky ?

because it seems to me that she outframes you all the time and senses that you are not that sure about yourself
 

ink_wizard

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and what do you do after she calls you cheeky ?

because it seems to me that she outframes you all the time and senses that you are not that sure about yourself
Well usually she doesn’t really reply if I continue with it or she’ll make comments saying that she’s not ready for that stuff yet but will make it happen when she’s feeling more comfortable
 

Bigpapa

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Well usually she doesn’t really reply if I continue with it or she’ll make comments saying that she’s not ready for that stuff yet but will make it happen when she’s feeling more comfortable
it is very unusual for a woman that is 31 to behave this way if she is attracted to you

my 2 cents are not to think about her and to talk with other girls

if she wants you , she can do most of the leg work while you are putting the most minimum effort , if not c’est la vie
 

Lookatu

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You're dealing with someone that has very low IL, wants to friendzone you, wants you as a provider BF, uses sex to control you, wants an activity partner, or is a prude. Any of those combos.
Quit wasting your time on this chick and date others with more potential.
 

Glassguy

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We’re both 31....to be honest I’m starting to get bored of the whole thing with her, I mean we do have a good time when we are out but the whole lack of flirting and physical intimacy is really making me question whether I want to continue with her. I feel rude to to ghost lol because I know she’ll hit me up when she doesn’t hear from me anymore. Should I just ghost anyway or tell her we should just be friends?
Just tell her that you can be friends because you feel as though you are a way more sexual person that her. Then bounce.

She will either come back strong and put out or you'll waste no more time on her.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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