So I'm a freshman in college and I'm a runner and had some injury problems so I saw a trainer at our college and she set me up and appointment for possibly getting orthotics...Anyways, she's already graduated from college, but I'm not sure of her exact age. So I met her today and she drove me to my appointment. She was very talkative and gave tons of eye contact, even while she was in the car. Then, once there, she helped me fill out the paperwork and had her legs crossed towards me. Then, when we got into the room, she brought up her sister and the fact she has two kids and that she couldn't imagine having kids right now...After that, a lady came in to just see what I was there for. She asked the girl who she was and she said she was a trainer for the university I go to. Then the lady said "Oh I thought you two were together"...haha then the girl says to the nurse lady "yeah I look like I'm 12...like I could still be in high school, let alone college"....Later on, when the doctor was having me walk to look at my feet, I look up and the trainer girl is staring at me and has a slight smile on her face. Then, after the appointment, the person told us something about how we would have to file the insurance and paperwork and stuff and so the girl turned to me and said "don't worry I'll do that for you" and touched me on the arm while kind of laughing and smiling....Then, on the way back, she talked about random things with her.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Is she interested?
- Thread starter Energy25
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
I'm in the Mood
Master Don Juan
What...............................slaog said:
OP: From what you said, I'd say she thinks you're an okay guy.
You didn't really describe even ONE IOI. All of this is like circumstantial evidence - it doesn't prove that she's attracted to you.
If she was you would most likely know.
As for your options in this situation:
A. Find out if she's interested romantically/sexually by asking her out.
B. Be her friend (which is the default if option A doesn't work out to your liking.)
A tip for the future: don't overanalyze situations.
You didn't even mention what you two TALKED about while she was driving you to the appointment. It sounds to me like an entirely social encounter with no romance whatsoever.
P.S. I've had shin splints and knee problems in the past from sports, and orthotics work wonders! If any good comes out of your dilemma, it will be comfortable legs
teacha
Senior Don Juan
If you interested in her, GO FOR HER MAN! Stop looking for signs of interest and just ask her number or something like that. If she not interested in you, who cares, its not the end of the world..ther's more were she came from....what is really important right now is ARE YOU INTERESTED IN HER??!!
I'm in the Mood said:
I don't know what that means so I can't reply.
I'm in the Mood said:
There were plenty of IOI's from what the OP described. Eye contact and her touching his arm and smiling at him etc. She is flirting with him and thats why I want to find out does she do it with everybody.
I'm in the Mood said:
Its likely that most guys on this forum cannot read signals from women because they've never learned. I never knew when women were flirting with me but looking back there was times when it is now obvious they were.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Joe Stud
Master Don Juan
"when r u meeting me for drinks, to discuss your recommendations for my new training schedule"? ask her
SchoolBoy
Don Juan
I say you kino her next time to find out.. there's way too much uncertainty right now because she could be doing that with everyone.. So the best way to deal with this, is to basically use body language yourself and see if it escalates. While throwing in C+F in the process.
I'm in the Mood
Master Don Juan
Eye contact, touching his arm and smiling are not necessarily IOIs - they're normal things that women do socially, and even some men do socially as well.
His entire post seems to me like a social frame, rather than a romantic frame.
In a romantic frame, they would definitely be IOIs.
His entire post seems to me like a social frame, rather than a romantic frame.
In a romantic frame, they would definitely be IOIs.
sodbuster
Master Don Juan
did she HAVE to drive you to the appointment? You know, as part of her job?
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.